All Friends Start Out As Strangers
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: Castiel's ex-wife moved out of town and now he needs help taking care of his daughter, Claire. He puts out an add for a nanny and when he feels he has lost all hope after interviewing dozens of nannies, there comes along an attractive man who just may be perfect for the job, Dean Winchester.
1. Dean, here for the nanny position

"What do you mean you're moving?" Castiel whispered angrily into the phone, watching his daughter out of the corner of his eye play with her toy cars on the floor of his living room.

"Exactly what I just said, Clarence," Meg's annoyance could be heard through the phone.

"You have a daughter and you're moving to the other side of the country? I know you never loved me, but you love her, don't you? You're just going to leave her."

Meg was silent for a moment and then huffed frustrated, "Well, of course I do, but this is a great opportunity for me. I have to go. It's not like I'm not dropping out of her life. Don't be so dramatic."

"Meg, I can't take care of her all by myself! I have a job, too, you know."

Meg seemed uninterested in her ex-husband's troubles, "Oh, you'll figure it out. You have her most of the time now, anyway. It won't be that hard. Just hire a nanny or something."

"A nanny? What – Meg, what about Claire? How do you think she'll feel when her mother moves across the country and only sees her what? Every few months?"

"A nanny will help you out a lot and Claire...well, it's not like I was much of a mother, anyway. She won't miss me much," Castiel could hear her trying to mask the sadness in her voice and how much she believed what she said.

"Meg, don't be like that-"

"No, I wasn't cut out for it. It's why we didn't work out. A white picket fence is just not my life, Clarence. But, like I said, I'm not dropping out of her life. I will keep in touch."

"Meg-"

"I wasn't calling for your opinion, I just thought I'd let you know. I'm leaving in a week and I have to get things ready, so, I have to go. But you should really think about the nanny thing, though."

"Yeah, okay," Castiel said resigned, knowing there was no changing her mind, being the stubborn woman she was.

"I'll spend the day with Claire Saturday, so can you look for a nanny. Does that sound good?"

"Yes. Goodbye, Meg."

He hung up the phone and dragged his hand down his face. How could she do that? Just be so inconsiderate and leave like that? Castiel sighed, well, that was Meg. She was always looking out for herself and what could make her happy. He couldn't, so it's not a surprise she'd go look for it somewhere else. But still, it had came so sudden. A nanny? He had to hire a nanny now? He didn't even know how to go about hiring one. Call an agency or put an add in the paper?

Castiel looked over at his seven year old daughter giggling to herself. Great. He supposed he was going to have to be the one to tell her. He guessed to do it now so she'd have time to get over being upset about it, so she could enjoy her last day with her mother. So, she could have a week to get used to the idea of her mother not being around.

"Claire," Castiel scooped her up into his arms and she hugged him around his neck, "Daddy has something important to tell you."

She nodded her head as Castiel sat down on the couch with her sitting in his lap, "What's wrong, Daddy?"

"Well, you know how you spend some days with Mama and some days with me?"

She nodded her head again, paying close attention as her eyes stayed locked on her father's.

"Well, Mama, has to go away, so you won't get to see her as much anymore."

Claire's face fell and she pouted, "Why? Where's she going?"

"She's going to a place called California for her work. It's really far away."

Claire looked down at her small hands in her lap and played with her fingers. She spoke softly, "So, I won't get to see Mama again?"

Castiel felt his heart breaking, "No, you will. You'll get to see her, just not all the time. Maybe every few months or so she'll come to visit and she'll call you a lot. Don't worry, honey." Castiel assured her, but he hoped he wasn't promising too much.

Claire was quiet for a moment taking it all in, and then she smiled, "Okay. But what about when you go to work? Who will pick me up from school?"

Castiel looked at her shocked at how well she was taking this, but she was pretty mature for her age. "I'm going to hire someone, a nanny. They're like a babysitter and they'll take care of you when I'm not home."

Claire's eyes went wide, "A stranger?"

Castiel was uncomfortable at the thought, too, but it was his only option. He smiled, not letting his worries show, "Remember all friends start out as strangers. They won't always be a stranger."

Claire thought about it a minute, then nodded, "O-kay. Can I go play now?"

Castiel chuckled, "Yes, go ahead, honey." She pecked his cheek and jumped off his lap, running back to her toys.

Castiel sighed for what felt like the tenth time tonight and prayed that somehow this would all work out.

"I, uh," Castiel looked at the wide grin on the blonde's face uncomfortably, "I am sorry, but I think I'm looking for someone else."

Ms. Rosen pulled her eyebrows together, "But, Mr. Novak, why?"

"Uh," Castiel tried to think of a reason beyond the fact that she creeped the crap out of him, "Well, Ms. Rosen, I just think that I want someone more experienced – older."

Ms. Rosen sighed and stood up, "If that's your final decision..."

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, Ms. Rosen," Castiel shook her hand and watched her leave.

He groaned falling to the couch. He'd already met with seven other nannies today and he didn't like any of them. Some of them were under certified, scary, or even rude. He just couldn't catch a break. He had decided to put an add in the newspaper and was starting to regret not just going to an agency. He had been at this all day since Meg picked Claire up that morning for their Mommy and Me day. Castiel was about to give up, when the doorbell ringed.

He walked down the hall dragging his feet, hoping this one wasn't another disturbing teenager like the last. He opened the door to striking green eyes and a bright face. The man was around his age and was probably the most beautiful man Castiel had ever seen. He had short dirty blond hair and freckles scattered his face. Castiel was a little taken aback by his charming grin.

Before Castiel could snap out of it, the man held out his hand, "Dean Winchester, here for the nanny position. You must be Mr. Novak. It's nice to meet you."

Castiel shook it still dazed, "Um, yes, likewise. Please, come in." Castiel stepped aside and let the man into his home. He led him to the living room where he had been conducting all his interviews. He gestured for the couch and sat in the arm chair himself across from Dean.

Castiel pulled out his check board he had been using all day with questions to ask that he had got from the internet. Dean made himself comfortable and leaned forward on his knees, patiently waiting for Castiel to begin the interview.

Castiel glanced at him nervously, hoping he wasn't a complete lunatic. It was getting late and Dean had to be the last one to come by. He was his only chance, if not he'd have to call an agency tomorrow and go through this all over again.

"Okay, let's begin. Mr. Winchester, how long have you been caring for children and what ages have you worked with?"

"Around seven to eight years. I practically raised my little brother, growing up. I've worked with a lot of different ages; babies, toddlers, seven year olds, ten year olds. I think I've worked with pretty much any age."

"What age do you feel most comfortable with and why?"

"Uh, I like the older kids more, like eight or nine. I guess because they're still at that age where they're just kids, but they're also more mature and calmer."

"Are you trained in CPR or have taken any other classes that can help you with your job?"

"Yes," Dean handed over a purple folder he had been holding to Castiel, "All of my certifications and qualifications are in there."

Castiel took it surprised and looked through it impressed. No one else had thought to bring one. There was a lot in there, too. CPR, First Aid, Infant Care, Water Safety, Kid's Nutrition and Fitness, Early Childhood Education, Positive Discipline, along with all his nanny certifications. Castiel hadn't seen a more qualified person all day. But before he could jump the gun, he needed to ask more questions, he reminded himself. He placed the folder behind his clipboard hanging onto it in case he needed to refer back to it.

"What is your education level?" Castiel continued.

"Community college, just the courses that are in there."

"What was your last family like and why are you no longer with them?"

Dean's smile faded a little, "I worked for the Braedens last, for two years up until two months ago. It was just Ms. Braeden and her eight year old son. She's moving with her new husband to New York, so I got let go."

"What is your favorite part of your job?"

"The kids. The whole reason why I chose this career is because I love the kids. They've always been my favorite part of the job," Dean's smiled sincerely and Castiel knew he was being honest.

Castiel asked his follow up question, "What's the worst?"

"In all honesty," Dean paused, "It's getting attached. Some families I'm with for only a few months and only work part time, but others I'm with for years and work full time. It's hard for the family to not grow on you."

"So, are you looking for long term or...?"

"I work for however long you need me to. I only work for one family at a time as I prefer to work full time, so I don't have to pick up a second job. So, as long as you need me, I'm here," Dean repeated with a grin.

"What would be the second job you'd take?" Castiel asked more curious than anything.

"I would pick up hours at my uncle's auto shop. I'm also a mechanic."

Castiel thought that that trait could come in handy, but he hoped it wouldn't have to. He had never been good with cars.

"Could you cook meals and drive my daughter to school and other activities?"

"Yes." Dean nodded.

"Can you do long hours and come in early or late?"

"Yes."

"Um," Castiel searched for another question, "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"

"No."

"Drug or alcohol abuse?"

When Dean didn't respond right away, Castiel looked up fearing his perfect nanny was about to have a major flaw. Castiel was tolerant of a lot of things, but he couldn't have a drug addict or drunk around Claire.

Dean finally spoke after having decided something in his head, "Well, I'm not going to lie. I had an alcohol problem a few years ago, but I'm three years sober and I've never drank on the job. I haven't touched the stuff since and I've never done any drugs."

Castiel sighed relieved, "Well, if that's all, I don't have a problem."

Dean let out a short breath and Castiel guessed not all people had been as accepting as he had been. It must have cost Dean a job a few times. But he respected that he didn't lie about it. He didn't have to admit that he had had a problem, if it was in the past.

Dean waited for Castiel to ask another question and when he didn't he gestured to the clip board, "Is there anything else you'd like to ask?"

Castiel looked down at his clip board and folder in his hand. He shook his head and stood up, handing Dean back his folder, "No, I'm satisfied. Mr. Winchester, I think you'll be perfect for our family and would love to have you work for us."

Dean faltered taking his folder, "Um, just like that? You don't have to consult your wife or anything?"

"Uh, no, Mr. Winchester. I forgot to include it in the add, but I'm a single father."

"Oh," Dean scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, before shaking it off, "Well, thank you, Mr. Novak. I'll be glad to work for your family." He pulled out his wallet and handed Castiel a card, "There is my contact information. Call me when you're ready for me to start."

Castiel put the card in his pocket and walked Dean to the door. He said goodbye to him and waved him off as he pulled out of his driveway in a black '67 Chevy Impala. Castiel sauntered back to his living room and collapsed onto his couch exhausted. He was relieved he would never have to do that again and that he was finished. His hope had been wearing down as nanny after nanny had came in throughout the day. He never would have thought he'd have the luck of meeting someone as perfect for the job as Dean was. He had all the credentials and more than that. He also had a likeable personality and was comfortable to be around. Castiel didn't have to worry whether Claire would like him or not. It was hard for her to dislike anyone, she was a very open person. She'd probably love Dean. But if by some miracle she doesn't, Castiel didn't know what he was going to do.


	2. You sang Foreigner to my child?

Castiel quietly opened Claire's bedroom door and turned on the light, "Claire, it's time to get up."

The only response he got was a groan from under the covers and Claire throwing her pillow over her head, "Don't want to!"

Castiel sighed and sat next to her by the bed, trying to tug the pillow away, but she grasped tight, "Claire, you have to get ready for school. Don't you want to see your friends?"

Claire shook her head from under the pillow, "I don't have a lot of friends, anyway."

Castiel looked at her sadly. Claire was more comfortable around older people than children her own age. She had trouble making friends in her class. Castiel didn't know what to do about it, but there wasn't really anything he could do. Claire had told him that she couldn't connect with kids she went to school with, because they didn't read as much as she did and made fun of her for it. Castiel learned from her teacher that the class had pegged her as the "nerd". Though, she did have a few friends, Castiel didn't think Claire felt as close to them as she wanted to.

Castiel shook her shoulder, "Okay, Claire. What about the nanny?"

Claire peeked out from under her pillow, "The nanny?"

"Yeah," Castiel nodded, "He's coming this morning to meet you and then he'll make your lunch and take you to school."

Claire thought for a minute, "What's his name?"

"Dean Winchester."

Claire made a face, "Is he old?"

"He's about the same age as me. I think you'll like him."

"Do you like him?"

"Yes, I do. I'm sure you two will be great friends."

Claire smiled and jumped out of bed, "When will he get here?"

Castiel chuckled at her enthusiasm and looked down at his watch, "In ten minutes, so you better get ready."

Claire ran to her closet and pulled out her favorite sundress, "Can I wear this?"

"Sure, sweetie. Now, go brush your hair and teeth. Then, make your bed and come down for breakfast."

Claire saluted at him and proceeded to look for shoes that would match her blue dress. Castiel smiled at her and walked down the stairs.

Castiel was placing pancakes on Claire's plate when the doorbell rang. He wiped his hands on his apron, and went through the kitchen door. Claire stared at the closed door excitedly, not even touching her food or juice as she waited.

"Good morning," Castiel answered the door, greeting his new nanny on the door step.

"Morning, Mr. Novak," Dean smiled and gestured to Castiel, "Nice apron."

Castiel looked down, realizing how ridiculous he must look with a paint smeared "Best Dad Ever" apron over his black suit. "Oh, well, I have work in an hour so, uh," Castiel looked up at Dean with a nervous laugh.

Dean waved him off, "Don't worry about it."

Castiel stepped aside, "Well, come on in. Claire's in the kitchen. She's been excited all morning about meeting you."

Dean walked with him down the hall, "Yeah? Me too."

Castiel opened the door with a trailing Dean behind him, "Claire, this is Dean Winchester. Mr. Winchester, this is my daughter, Claire."

Dean knelt down in front of Claire where she was still sitting at the table, so he was eye level with her and held out his hand, "Hello, Claire. It's nice to meet you."

Claire glanced at Castiel before giving Dean a toothy grin and shaking his hand, "You, too, Mr. Winchester."

"You can call me Dean if you want," Dean looked over at Castiel, "You too, Mr. Novak. I don't really like the Mr. Winchester thing, makes me feel old."

Castiel smiled as he cleaned up the scattered dishes, "Then, call me Castiel."

Dean looked back at Claire and sat in the chair next to her, "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes with chocolate chips," Claire said smugly.

Dean laughed, "Yeah, those are pretty good, but have you tried them with blueberries?"

Claire made a face, "Blueberries? In pancakes?"

"Oh, yeah, they're delicious. I'll make you some some time. You'll love 'em. No one says no to my famous pancakes."

Claire turned back to her pancakes, "If you say so."

Castiel grabbed his coat from the chair and slipped it on, "You know Claire's schedule and my number, right?"

Dean nodded, pulling out his phone and checking, "Yeah, I got everything."

Castiel ruffled Claire's hair, "Okay, well I'll be heading to work then. Goodbye, Claire, Dean."

Castiel walked through the door as Dean called out, "Have a good day at work, Cas!" and Claire, "Bye, Daddy!"

Cas. As Castiel was driving to work, the nickname kept bouncing around his head. He liked the sound of it and was surprised no one had ever came up with it before.

"Hello?" Castiel called as he walked through the front door.

"In here!" Dean answered from the living room. Castiel followed his voice and found Dean and Claire on the floor playing Operation.

There was a buzz and Claire laughed smugly at Dean, "Ha ha, I'm won."

"Well, I'm a car doctor not a people one," Dean retorted.

Castiel laughed and collapsed on the couch behind them, shrugging off his coat. "How was your day?"

"It was great. Daddy, did you know Dean can sing the whole song of Hot Blooded?"

Dean pointed his finger at her accusingly, "Hey, that was between you and me. I'm never singing for you again."

"But you have such a pretty voice!"

Dean shook his head, "Never again, Claire."

"Dean, I'm sorry," Claire pouted.

"Don't you give me those puppy dog eyes. My brother used to do that."

Claire deepened her face and clasped her hands together. Dean sighed, "Fine."

Castiel smiled watching them, glad Claire liked Dean. They seemed to get along well. Dean glanced at him and Castiel smirked, "You sang Foreigner to my child?"

Dean's cheeks turned slightly pink, "Foreigner's a classic, Cas. I was educating her."

Castiel smiled, "Oh, well, then, thank you, Dean."

"Sure thing," Dean stood up, "Well, I think I'll be going home, then."

Claire frowned and hugged Dean's leg, "Bye, Dean."

"Bye, kiddo. I'll see you tomorrow," Dean ruffled her hair.

Dean waved at Castiel and started heading for the door. Castiel found himself asking, "Hey, Dean, why don't you stay for dinner?"

Dean turned around surprised, "You sure?"

Castiel shrugged, "Yeah, it's just me and Claire. There's always plenty of food."

Dean smiled, "Well, okay, then. Yeah, thanks, I'd love to."

Castiel got off the couch, "Then, I guess I should go start it."

Dean followed after him, "I'll help."

Claire piped up, "Me, too!"

Castiel looked down at her, "Have you finished your homework?"

Claire looked at her shoes, "I did my math and reading. We took a break to play a game before I had to do my science."

"Alright, then, I think you should go do your science."

Claire groaned, "Okay," and trudged up the stairs with a pout.

Dean chuckled as they entered the kitchen, "She's quite the character."

Castiel pulled out the ingredients for spaghetti from the fridge, "She gets that from her mother."

"Oh, yeah? She spend a lot of time with Claire," Dean asked as he realized what the meal was and started getting out the pots and pans.

"She did. She recently moved to California for her work. It's why I needed help so urgently."

Dean nodded, not knowing if he could continue the conversation or not, since they had just met and he was his nanny. He set the water to boil as Castiel thawed out the meat. He leaned against the counter with nothing else to do and then he saw the small radio near the sink. He walked over to it curious. It looked over a decade old. Dean grabbed it and tried to get a signal.

Castiel glanced at him, "I haven't used that in a while. I'm surprised it still works."

Dean found a classic rock station and smirked as he turned it up, "Now, this is good music."

Castiel laughed, "Maybe a Foreigner song will come on and I can hear you sing."

Dean felt heat crawl up his neck, "Yeah, well, we'll see. They may not play any Foreigner tonight. You never know."

To Castiel's disappointment, they didn't play any Foreigner that night by the time dinner was ready. But he enjoyed cooking with Dean humming along to the radio, nevertheless. Claire came running down after he called up to her. They sat around the small kitchen table with Claire asking Dean a billion questions.

"Claire, why don't you let Dean breathe for a minute?" Castiel laughed as Dean tried to keep up with his interview.

"I'm just trying to get to know him," Claire said innocently.

"Well, you don't have to be in a rush, there's plenty of time for that."

Claire was quiet a minute and turned to Dean again, "So, what's your biggest fear?"

Castiel sighed, while Dean answered with a small smile, "Planes."

"Planes? That's silly."

"Is not," Dean defended himself, "They crash into things all the time. They're death machines"

Claire giggled, "No, they aren't."

"Well, what are you scared of?"

Claire put her finger to her lip, thinking for a minute before answering, "Lilith."

"Lilith?" Dean glanced at Castiel, who had a frown on his face.

"She's this really mean girl at school," Claire stabbed her noodles.

Dean put his fork down, "Does she bully you?"

Claire shrugged, "She doesn't hit me or anything. She just says mean things."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a nerd or a freak know-it-all," Claire glared at her plate.

"Well, she's just jealous, Claire," Dean told her, grabbing his glass of water.

Claire looked up at him, "What?"

"She just wishes she was as smart as you. Don't let her bother you."

A small smile tugged on Claire's lips, "Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Bullies are just reflectors."

"Reflectors?"

"Yeah. It's like she doesn't have smarts like you so she takes it out on you. Or like a kid with no parents beating up the guy with a loving family. Bullies are just mad at themselves or their situation. It's not a reflection on you."

Claire stared at him wide eyed and then looked back down at her plate, "I never thought that could be why."

"You understand it's not your fault now, right?"

Claire smiled and muttered a small yes before digging into her food. Castiel gave Dean a grateful grin and he winked back at him.

It was a few minutes before Claire started her questions again, "So, what's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Favorite food?"

"Pie."

Claire paused, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Dean stuttered at the unexpected question, "Uh, no."

"Okay," Claire nodded and immediately asked, "What about a boyfriend?"

Dean cheeks tinted red, "No, Claire, I don't."

Claire giggled, "You're blushing!"

The color in Dean's face deepened and Castiel held back a laugh as to not embarrass him further. Claire just looked at him smugly.

"What about you, huh, princess? Do you have a little partner in crime?"

"No!" Claire shook her head.

"But you have a crush on somebody, don't you, Claire?" Dean smirked and poked her side playfully.

Claire turned into a bright tomato and huffed, "N-no."

"Sure, okay, Claire. I believe you," Dean said sarcastically.

Claire crossed her arms and turned away from him. Castiel couldn't help it anymore and started laughing. Dean chuckled along with him and Claire tried to stay mad, but began laughing as well.


	3. Better than cake

**AN: ****_Sorry about the ridiculously late update! But, promise, regular updates from now on! Thank you for all the love and support! :)_**

The Novaks had probably been one of the best jobs Dean had had in a long time. They were kind people and Dean felt comfortable around them. He didn't feel like he had to act really professional and cut off around them like some families have made him feel in the past. It was also, the first time an employer had offered to be called by his first name. Castiel. Or Cas, as he had immediately nicknamed him. When Dean asked how he got such a strange name, Cas had said he was named after an angel and if that didn't fit him, Dean didn't know what would.

Over the past few months, Dean had grown closer to the Novaks. He felt himself growing attached, but like usual whenever that happened, he couldn't do anything to stop it. Claire was a sassy little girl, but hell if she didn't entertain him. She was a really smart kid and would always go on about the latest book she was reading. They were advanced books for her age, too. Dean thought some of them might even be nearing on young adult books. She liked the same genres Dean liked and that had made him fond of her even more. Science fiction; monsters, dragons, medieval times, fantasy worlds, etc.

Then, there was Cas. The guy was unlike anyone Dean had ever met. He was strange, but in a good way. For whatever reason, Cas was very untuned with the pop culture and he rarely got any references Dean made. Sometimes, he talked like a walking dictionary and took everything literal. He was messy with paperwork lying everywhere around the house, but otherwise very organized, well when it came to Claire. He was always running late in the mornings when Dean arrived to fix Claire breakfast and take her to school. Cas's tie was backwards and he had mismatched socks on. He was a real family man, though, even with how devoted to work he may be, he never put anything above Claire.

Cas and Dean had become really good friends, though Dean had tried not to get so close to the family after what had happened with the Braedens. But it was hard not to become a small extension of the family. Most nights he had dinner with them, even though, he was technically off the clock. He just liked spending time with them. He had even met Claire's mother at some point. It wasn't a pleasant experience. The woman had made his skin crawl and she was probably the most sarcastic person he had ever met. From what he could see, she was a good mother, nevertheless. She had showed up unexpected one morning and spent a few hours with Claire before she had to fly back to her apartment in California. Cas didn't even get to see her, which he wasn't disappointed in the slightest about.

Dean pulled out from under an old yellow VolksWagon bug, "Alright, everything is all good now."

Charlie let out a deep breath, "Oh, thank god, I don't know how else I'd get to ComiCon without it."

"Yeah, well, maybe buy a car that's not a piece of junk," Dean offered.

"Like you're one to talk. How old is the Impala again?"

"Hey, I take care of _my_ car," Dean retorted as he put away all of his tools into his trunk. Charlie had called him and told him her car wouldn't start, and since it was a Saturday and the Novaks hadn't called him in, he came right over. Charlie, as he liked to put it, was the little sister he never wanted. She had been babysiting a kid that was on a playdate with one of his old families' kids when he met her and since then, he had grown fond of her and all her dorky attributes.

Charlie grinned, "And now you take care of mine, too."

"Whatever, I have a job, Charlie. You can't expect me to be able to come over every time your car breaks down."

Charlie shrugged, "Yeah, well, you fixed it now. It should be good for a while."

Dean followed Charlie back into her house straight for the kitchen. She made him a sandwich and handed him a coke as her payment. Dean took the food gladly.

Charlie sat beside him at her small kitchen table, "So, how's the new family going, anyway?"

"It's good," Dean said around a mouthful of food.

"Yeah? Are you still swooning over your boss?"

Dean gave her a pointed look, "I was never _swooning_ over him."

"Uh-huh," Charlie rolled her eyes.

"Who even says swooning, anyway? Are you from a fifty's movie or something?"

Charlie ignored him, "Dean, you've been going on about this guy for the past three months and you're going to try and tell me that you don't like him in the slightest?"

"I have not been going on about him. You're being ridiculous."

Charlie spoke dramatically, "Oh, Charlie, he has the bluest eyes! Oh, Charlie, he's named after an angel! Oh, Charlie, he puts his tie on backwards, it's so adorable!"

Dean gave her an incredulous look, "I do not sound like that and I never called Cas _adorable_."

Charlie raised her eyebrows, "Are you sure, Dean? Are you _really_ sure?"

He thought for a minute and said without much certainty, "Y-yeah."

Charlie chuckled, "See? If you even have to think about whether you said it out loud or not, means you actually think it. And look, you're calling him Cas."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Dean, since when have you ever been on a first name basis with your boss? You even gave him a nickname."

"Castiel's a mouthful," Dean defended himself, but Charlie wasn't buying anything he was trying to sell. She just smirked at him, because she knew she was right.

"Whatever, stop psychoanalyzing me," Dean went back to his sandwich and ignored her peering gaze. Before Charlie could say anything else, Dorothy walked through the front door.

"Hey, beautiful!" she called as she rounded the corner, sounding happier than Dean had ever heard her, "Guess, what?"

Charlie paused going through the mail and looked up at her with a nervous smile, "H-how did it go?"

Dorothy spoke through a wide grin, "We've been approved!" and held up a paper torn from an envelope.

Charlie jumped from her chair and ran into Dorothy's arms. The girls laughed and kissed each other. It was pure happiness. Dean smiled at them and waited patiently for them to share the news with him. After a minute, Charlie turned to him with tears in her eyes, "Dean, w-we've been approved to adopt. We're gonna have a _family_."

Dean stood up and hugged them both, "That's great, guys, really. I'm so happy for you two."

He pulled away and the girls' grins looked like they were about to split their faces in half. He turned and grabbed his keys off the table, "Well, I'm going to go. Let you guys celebrate and stuff."

Charlie hugged him again before he left, "Thank you, Dean."

"No problem," he smiled and called over his shoulder as he walked out, "Congratulations!"

**_DIVIDER_**

"Dean?" Claire called to him quietly, beside him in the cab of the impala.

He glanced at her, "Yeah, kiddo?"

She looked nervously up at him as she played with her fingers in her lap, "Um, have you ever watched Star Wars?"

"Heck yeah!" he grinned as he turned the corner on to Grace Street where the Novaks lived.

Claire frowned and slightly nodded before she looked down at her hands again looking defeated.

Dean parked the impala on the curb outside the house and turned to the little girl beside him, "Why are you asking, Claire?"

She didn't look at him and spoke softly, "One of the boys in my class referenced it today and I was the only one who didn't know what he was talking about. The other kids made fun of me."

Dean sighed, at a loss of what to do. He hadn't nannied too many kids that got bullied at school and for Claire it seemed to happen on almost a daily basis. He didn't want her to go down a dark road for the rest of her school life and one day just finally snap from all of the torment. But he didn't know what to do about it. There wasn't any point in him or Cas going up to the school, he knew how that would end. It would just make everything worse. He hoped that maybe after elementary or if she switched schools it would be better. Well, he at least knew what to do about the current problem.

He rested his arm on the back of the seat and looked down at her, "Claire, it's okay to not be pop culture savvy. Everyone has different interest and that's okay. You know you're a lot like your dad, more than you think. I've had conversations with him where I had to learn he had no idea who Clint Eastwood was."

She raised her head slightly, "Do you get mad at him when he doesn't know what you're talking about?"

"Never. I like your dad and just because we like different things doesn't mean we can't still be friends. You just need to find someone who will respect that you have different interests. And always remember, Claire, to treat people that way too."

Claire gave him a small smile, "Okay."

He shook her knee, "Alright, now that that's done with, why don't I teach you how to make apple pie and we can surprise your dad?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically and opened up her door, then ran straight to the house. Dean chuckled, glad he seemed to have said the right thing, and followed quickly after her.

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel opened the front door to the sweet smell of apples and an upbeat pop song blaring throughout the house. He smiled, curious, but not wanting to come home to anything else. He hung up his trench coat on the coat rack, tossed his suit jacket on the couch, and loosened his tie. As he kicked off his shoes in the living room, he called out, "Dean? Claire?" There was no response, but he hadn't had much hope to be heard over the music.

He quietly slipped through the kitchen door and then leaned against it. Dean's back was to him and Claire hadn't noticed his arrival either. Claire was wearing her play chef hat and apron, but probably still having managed to get flour from head to toe. Dean's blond hair was sprinkled with flour, too, though he couldn't imagine how that happened.

Whatever they had been cooking seemed to be in the oven, since they were dancing along to the song on the radio. Claire was giggling uncontrollably as Dean held both of her little hands in his and shook her from left to right, singing along to the song, "I shake it off, shake it off!"

Castiel couldn't hold back his chuckle and Dean spun around with a very deep blush rising on his cheeks, "Oh, uh, h-hey, Cas. Didn't hear you, uh, come in."

Castiel's eye crinkling grin didn't leave his face, "Well, I don't see how you could have over the music. Is that Taylor Swift?"

"Shuttup," Dean turned towards the radio.

Castiel walked over to him and ruffled his hair to get the flour out. He laughed as Dean shied away from him, "You don't have to be embarrassed, Dean. I hear she's a very talented singer."

Dean's blush deepened as he turned the radio down and pointed a finger at Castiel, "Another word and you don't get any pie."

Castiel stepped over to the oven and peered in, "You made pie?"

Claire spoke up behind him, "It's apple, Daddy. We just put it in the oven. Dean was teaching me how to bake."

"Oh, really?" Castiel asked Dean as he looked for a different radio station than the one him and Claire had been listening to.

Dean shrugged not looking away from the antique radio, "It wasn't any trouble."

Castiel smiled and turned to Claire, "Well, that was nice of you. Claire, did you thank Dean?"

She ran to Dean and wrapped herself around his legs, "Thank you, Dean! You know what? _I'll_ make pie for _you_ next week!"

Dean chuckled and ruffled her hair, "It's a date, shorty."

"Do you have any homework?" Castiel asked as he rolled up his sleeves and looked in the refrigerator for something to cook for dinner.

Claire shrugged, adjusting her chef hat as it was sliding off her head, "Just to read the next chapter of Shiloh."

Castiel nodded, knowing she had already read ahead and finished the book. He glanced at her flour patted hair and clothes and laughed, "Well, why don't you go take a quick shower while Dean and I cook dinner."

She pouted at him, "Do I have to?"

He bent down and held up a strand of her hair between his fingers, "Claire, your hair is white and sticky and you look like a ghost. Yes, you have to."

She groaned dramatically before walking out of the kitchen. Dean chuckled as he finally set the radio back on the window sill. Frank Sinatra played quietly in the small room as the two men moved around each other, preparing hamburgers and silver dollar potatoes.

Dean closed the mini grill on the hamburger patties and looked over at Cas as he flipped the potatoes in the frying pan. His blue tie hung loosely around his neck with a few buttons of his rumpled white shirt popped open. He looked completely worn out, but a smile played on his lips.

Castiel must have felt him staring, because he glanced at him and Dean was overwhelmed with his blue as the goddamn sky eyes. Dean felt his heart stutter and he looked away. He strode over to the refrigerator and pulled out some condiments. He put them on the counter and looked back over at Cas and found him smiling at him. Cas's smile released the tension in Dean's shoulders and he felt himself relax at the warm feeling in his chest.

"W-what is it, Cas?" Dean tried to ask smoothly, but came nowhere near. He cursed himself in his head.

Castiel didn't look away for a few seconds, then turned back to the skillet, "You know you're the only person who's ever called me Cas."

Dean glanced at him confused as he put buns in the toaster, "Really? Seems kind of obvious to me."

"Well, my older brother calls me _Cassie_, but I think that's as far as a nickname ever got," Castiel shrugged.

Dean laughed, "Well, I can see why you like Cas more."

Castiel smiled and nodded, but didn't reply any further. He was unusually quiet tonight. He'd usually be talking about some snappy coworker or his asshole boss. "Hey, uh, Cas, you alright? You look pretty tired, more than usual. Have a bad day or something?"

Castiel looked at him surprised he had noticed as he shoveled the potatoes on to a plate. "Well, I guess I've just been stressed. Zachariah wants me to go out of town this weekend on one of the projects. After today I'll probably be getting in later than normal trying to prepare for it, too, and -," Castiel cut off like he had just realized something and he looked at Dean in panic, "Wait that's okay, right? The trip this weekend? I mean I'll only be gone one night. I don't think we ever discussed you watching her overnight. But if it's not, I guess I could call –"

Dean walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders, meeting his eyes, "Cas, dude, it's alright. Yeah, we didn't talk about it. But I've done that before. It's not a problem. Take a deep breath, man, it's all going to be okay."

They didn't break eye contact for a moment and then, Castiel closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Dean dropped one of his hands, but his left stayed rubbing gently up and down Cas's arm and Castiel felt himself calm down. After a few seconds he opened his eyes and was welcomed with kind deep green eyes, "Thank you, Dean. I guess I really have been under a lot of stress lately. Sorry about that."

Dean smiled at him, "It's not a big deal, Cas." He turned away, but Castiel felt his hand linger for a second longer than necessary. Then, when Dean finally turned back around to put the burgers together, Castiel missed the warmth and his touch. He almost reached back out for him, before he realized what he was doing. What _wa_s he doing? Well, he decided to step out, before it turned out to be something stupid.

Castiel went out through the kitchen door, calling over his shoulder, "I'm going to go tell Claire dinner's ready."

He leaned against the wall outside and sighed. Dean was just his _nanny_, not anything more. Sure, they might have become good friends over the last couple of months. And yeah, Dean might be bordering on one of the best things to happen to the little Novak family. And Claire loved the man to death and he loved her right back. And maybe, green eyes wandered into Castiel's mind while he was at his desk at work. And – _No_. Castiel stopped his flow of thoughts before they went to a different territory, one he refused to visit, though it had crossed his mind. He let out another deep breath. _No, it would most certainly not be a good idea to fall for your nanny, Castiel._

**_DIVIDER_**

Dean couldn't believe the sounds coming out of Castiel at dinner. He'd bet Cas didn't even know he was doing it. Claire giggled beside him, looking up at Dean. He ignored what the noises were doing to him and chuckled along with her.

"Hey, Cas?"

Castiel looked at him, "Yeah?"

Dean raised his eyebrows, "Enjoying the burger?"

"Yes, oh my god, Dean, this is amazing," Castiel moaned around his burger, "You have got to tell me what you put in the meat."

Dean laughed, "Not a chance."

"Why not?"

"Give you an incentive to keep me around," Dean winked at him, "If you like my burgers so much, how could you ever let me go?"

Castiel rolled his eyes, "Like I need any more reasons to keep you around."

Dean grinned smugly and wiggled his eyebrows at Cas. Castiel tried to hide his smile, "Oh, shuttup, and just get the pie."

"Yes, sir," Dean retrieved the pie and placed in the center of the table. Claire stared at it excitedly, jumping up and down in her chair.

"You act like you've never had pie before," Dean chuckled at her eagerness.

"I haven't. Does it taste like cake?" Claire asked, not taking her eyes off the pie Dean was cutting in slices.

Dean made a horrified face, "What?" He looked at Castiel with his jaw dropped, "How could you deny this sweet child the greatest joy in life?"

Castiel raised his eyebrows, "Greatest joy in life? Really, Dean?"

"Hey," Dean held back a plate of pie from Castiel, "Don't underappreciate pie."

Castiel nodded, "I apologize, Dean. I didn't know she meant that much to you."

"Well, she does. It's very serious," Dean replied as he placed plates in front of Castiel and Claire, then himself.

He watched Claire take her cautious first bite. She seemed to like, considering she dived right back in for more. He asked, "What's the verdict, shortcake?"

She just nodded her head enthusiastically, "Better than cake," and continued to eat, until she asked for another slice.

Dean grinned and turned to Cas, "Can I adopt her?"

Castiel pursed his lips after another bite of pie, "I don't know. I've become quite attached after the years."

"Daddy!" Claire squealed, "What do you mean you don't know!?"

"I'm just kidding, Claire Bear," Castiel said as he got her another slice. After a moment, he added, "I wouldn't do that to poor Dean."

Dean and Castiel laughed as Claire yelled, "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

As Castiel watched Dean throw his head back in laughter and his eyes crinkle, he couldn't imagine ever letting him go. When he met his eyes that night, he saw something in them, even though he couldn't put a name to it, it made him feel warm. Looking around the messy kitchen, covered in flour and empty plates, and back to his daughter and Dean laughing at the table, he couldn't remember a happier moment.


	4. It's, uh, very firm?

**AN: Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me throughout this story! I love you, guys! And I'm so caught up on this story, I might start doing weekly updates! Let's cross our fingers! And if I can't, I'll still do at least the two-weekly updates! **

Castiel wasn't a second through the door, before his he had a small blonde girl tackling his legs. He looked down, worried something was wrong, "Claire, is something wrong?"

Claire grabbed his hand with both of hers and tugged on him, while shaking her head, "No, but come on, hurry!"

"Let me get my coat off first, at least," Castiel said as he tried to maneuver out of his trench coat with a jumping child pulling on him.

A second after he tossed the coat on the coat rack, Claire was pulling him towards the living room, "Claire, what is it?"

He found Dean lounging on the couch with a wide smile as Claire dragged Castiel to the couch and impatiently gestured for him to sit down next to Dean. Castiel slipped out of his jacket and threw it on the back of a nearby chair, and looked at the two confused. Claire was bouncing in front of him and staring at Dean expectedly, "Well, he's here now!"

Dean chuckled and glanced at Cas. He leaned towards him after he sat down beside him and said, "I have a surprise for her, but I said she had to wait until you got home."

Claire was nodding her head excitedly, "Yes, so what is it!?"

"But now," Dean grinned, "I think I might wait until after dinner."

Claire groaned and dropped to her knees dramatically, throwing her head back with her hands on her face, "No! Oh my god, why do you do this to me?"

Dean laughed and reached down beside him and grabbed a small black jaw string bag. He put it in his lap and beckoned for Claire to come closer. She looked back and forth between the bag and Dean, waiting for him to open it. He grabbed at the sides and stared at her, "You ready?"

She nodded eagerly and he held up a finger, "But just because I'm doing this doesn't mean what I said the other day was wrong. I just think you'll enjoy it."

Claire's little jaw dropped and Castiel figured she must have guessed what was in the bag. Dean opened it and pulled out a boxset of the Star Wars saga.

Claire clasped her hands together, "We're gonna watch it?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, I thought we'd have a movie night since your dad's leaving in the morning. And you're going to watch it the way I did, in the order they were released," and Claire threw her arms around him. He hugged her back and she whispered near his ear, "Thank you."

When she leaned away, Dean opened the bag back open and angled it towards her, "I also, if you like the movies, have all the books and you can borrow them if you want."

Claire grabbed the bag and peered in, "Really?" She dug around and looked back up at Dean, "There's so many."

He nodded and Claire held the bag close to her chest with one of the biggest smiles Castiel has ever seen her wear. Then, she ran out of the living room and into the hallway. Dean and Castiel heard her call, "I'm going to put them up in my room!" as she clamored up the stairs.

Castiel turned to Dean, a smile forming on his face as well, "I don't know the whole story, but I can tell that that meant a lot to her. Thank you, Dean."

Dean's cheeks tinged pink and he looked away. He shrugged, "Some kids were bullying her because she'd never seen it before. I told her it was okay to be different, but I thought it'd still be cool to show her."

Castiel nodded sadly, looking down at his feet, "I guess that's my fault. She wasn't very interested in tv or movies when she was little, besides a few. I thought it was a good thing that she liked books more. But if she's getting bullied for –"

Dean cut him off, shifting on the couch to face Castiel and placing a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, no, it is _not_ your fault that she gets bullied any more than it's hers. It's the parents of those kids who didn't raise them right to be respectful of others. You did nothing wrong with Claire and that's coming from someone who's nannied plenty of families where the parents did plenty wrong to their kids."

Castiel smiled, meeting Dean's eyes and not wanting to look away from the kindness in them, "Thank you, Dean."

Dean shook his head as he moved his hand from Castiel's shoulder to rest alongside the top of the couch, "You don't have to keep thanking me, Cas."

Castiel leaned back and could feel Dean's arm behind him. Dean didn't move it and Castiel felt comfortable in the silence with just the sound of the fan rotating above them. After a moment, Dean asked, "So, pizza and popcorn?"

Castiel replied as Claire came tumbling down the stairs, "Sounds good to me. I'll go call it in and change out of this suit."

As Castiel got up, Claire came into the room carrying a mountain of blankets and three pillows. Dean chuckled when she dropped them all on to the floor, "You going to make a pallet?"

She nodded her head, "Yup, it's the best way to do a movie night."

"I thought you guys didn't do a lot of movies."

Claire spoke as she carefully spread out her blue comforter, "Well, we don't, but when we do, Daddy always laid down here with me."

Dean smiled and bent down to help her, "But there's three pillows. Does that mean I'm invited to Claire's movie night pallet?"

Claire laughed grabbing the pillow from Dean and placing beside the two other, "Well, of course, silly. You're an official Novak, now."

Dean felt his heart warm at the words as he spread out another blanket, "I'm honored, Claire. Thank you."

After they had successfully covered the floor in blankets, Dean asked, "So, which pillow's mine?"

Claire pointed at the one on the end and Dean asked, "Okay, your's?"

Then, she pointed at the opposite end. Dean bumped her lightly on the shoulder, "Okay, I get it. You don't want to sit with me."

She shook her head with a mischievous smile on her face, "No, that's not it. You just need to sit by Daddy that's all. And I want to sit by him, too, so this is how it worked out."

Dean's eyebrows scrunched together and he asked confused, "Wait, why do I need to sit by Daddy?"

Claire giggled and looked away with her lips pressed together, "Oh, no reason."

Dean shrugged, "Fine, don't tell me. I don't care." Once Claire's back was turned though, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down with him to the pile of blankets. She laughed the entire way down, struggling to get away. He hovered over her with her hands caught loosely between his left hand, "Are you gonna tell me now?"

She shook her head.

Dean raised his eyebrows, "Are you sure? Cuz you know what's going to happen if you don't."

She shook her head again. He raised his right hand and her eyes widened. She tried to wiggle away as it came down on top of her stomach. "Dean!" she squealed as he tickled her, "S-s-stop tick-ckleing me!"

He paused as she tried to catch her breath, "Tell me your secret then, Claire."

She shook her head and then squeezed her eyes shut, preparing for the worst. She was attacked with another wave and Dean finally stopped when her chest was aching from the laughter. He narrowed his eyes at her and leaned back against his pillow, "You're strong, Novak."

She stood up proudly with her hands on her hips, still breathless, "You got that right, Winchester."

Castiel walked into the room, then, wearing a pair of jeans that hung loosely on his hips and a worn AC/DC shirt. Dean's heart stopped at the sight. Cas looked _way_ better in that than he did in his scruffy monkey suit. Not that he _didn't_ look good in that, this just seemed to suit him more.

"The pizza's on its way and I've already got the popcorn," Castiel spoke, looking down at them holding a big bowl of popcorn, "And you've got the pallet ready. So, we ready?"

Claire nodded and when Castiel moved to sit down, she snatched his pillow away. He looked at her confused, "What's wrong?"

She thought for a second, "This…is my pillow. It's my…favorite."

Castiel settled in next to Dean, but raised his eyebrows, "You have a favorite pillow?"

She nodded and looked down at it, "It's, uh, very…firm?"

Dean snorted and she glared at him. Castiel glanced between them, "Am I missing something here?"

Dean chuckled and reached for the DVD player remote on the table, "Nah, don't worry about it, Cas."

_**DIVIDER**_

Claire seemed to be really enjoying the movie, since she hadn't said a word since it started and her eyes were glued to the screen. She was usually quite talkative during movies and Castiel had always found it hard to keep up with her comments. But she'd been, for the most part, quiet. She was laying on her stomach resting her head on her arms and absentmindedly kicking her feet in the air. While Castiel and Dean leaned comfortably against the couch.

Halfway through _The Empire Strikes Back_, Castiel's head fell softly to Dean's shoulder. Dean looked down at him surprised and saw that he'd fallen asleep. Dean could feel his warm breath on his neck as Cas's breathing slowed. It sent shivers down his spine and he shifted, so Castiel would be more comfortable. Castiel's body sunk down against Dean's side and he let out a sigh of content in his deep sleep. The guy must be completely exhausted to cuddle up next to Dean like that.

Dean couldn't help but smile, though, and he glanced at Claire, who had stopped watching the movie and was looking at them with a small smile. Dean caught her eye and she quickly turned back to the movie without a word.

Dean looked back down at the man lying beside him, having lost interest in the movie. Castiel really was something else. Dean couldn't put his finger on why, though. Why he found himself wanting to see him again, cook and laugh with him. Why his favorite color used to be black, but since taking on the Novaks it'd changed to blue. He was beautiful with his gorgeous blue eyes, dark sex hair, and tanned skin, but it was more than that. Dean thought about the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed and the lines around his eyes from always smiling. The confused head tilt he gave Dean when he made a joke or reference he didn't understand.

Castiel had become nuzzled into the crook of Dean's neck. With his head angled like that he would wake up with a crick in his neck, so Dean slowly snaked his arm beneath and around Cas. Yeah, the only reason he had done that was so his boss wouldn't have a sore neck the next day. That was all, he was just being a good employee and friend. It had nothing to do with how Castiel smelled like coming home, or how warm he was, and most certainly _not_ how it felt to have his soft skin on his and velvet hair tickling his chin.

Cas subconsciously adjusted his body in response, turning onto his side, snuggling closer to Dean. Dean's arm followed him, though he probably should've just let it lay on the floor. Castiel's hand was now cradled on Dean's chest and Dean's arm was wrapped around him. Now, there was nothing platonic about the way they were cuddled together, Dean holding Castiel illuminated by only the light from the tv screen.

Dean let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Claire looked over at him and tilted her head. She didn't seem surprised or appalled by their embrace. But she frowned at the look on Dean's face. She misunderstood and whispered, "Do you want me to wake him up?"

Dean shook his head and she only stared at him a minute more before returning her eyes back to the movie. Dean might have been a little selfish in his reasoning for letting Cas sleep, but the guy also looked like he needed it. Just because Dean was becoming frustrated with his own feelings didn't mean he should overthink Cas falling asleep on him.

Twenty minutes before the movie ended, Castiel shifted in Dean's arms. Dean's breathing stopped, thinking he was waking up, but then he felt Cas shiver. Dean looked down at the blanket by his feet. He didn't think he could reach it without disturbing Castiel. Castiel shivered again and he pulled his arm close to his body. Dean sighed and resorted to asking Claire, "Claire?"

She looked over her shoulder at him and he whispered, feeling his face warm, "Can you hand me that blanket?"

She crawled over to it and stood up draping it over her father and nanny. There was a smile on her face and she winked at Dean before settling back down in front of the tv. Dean hoped the nine year old didn't see his blush in the dark living room.

When the movie ended, Claire was excited for the next one, but she looked at the clock and it was already one in the morning. She hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. She guessed Dean would be sleeping over then. She was sure Daddy wouldn't mind. They had a guest room for a reason. She got up to look for the remote and when she couldn't find it, she turned to Dean to ask him if he had it.

She beamed at how cute and content Daddy looked with Dean holding him in his arms. Then, she noticed that Dean had fallen asleep as well, his head resting on top of her father's. They looked too comfortable for her to want to wake them up. Instead, she grabbed another blanket and draped it across them. She found the remote near Dean on the floor and turned off the DVD player and tv.

She was about to go up to her room, when she had an idea. She went over to their coffee table that had been pushed to the side of the room. She picked up her dad's phone and quickly unlocked it. She walked to the feet of the sleeping couple and pulled up the camera on the phone.

She thought it'd be a nice surprise for when Daddy woke up. Before she put the phone back down she sent the pictures to Dean's phone. It was the perfect memory of their first movie night together.

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel woke up from probably the best sleep he had ever gotten and he kept his eyes closes to extend the feeling. He could feel the sun shining through the windows on his skin. It was the middle of November, but he didn't feel cold at all. He was wrapped up in complete warmth, though he could feel the cold air nipping at his ears. He turned his face into his mattress trying to escape it and – wait, that was_not_ his mattress. Castiel suddenly became more aware of his surroundings and he realized there was a body breathing beneath him.

Castiel opened his eyes and his first thought was that he wished he could wake up every morning this way. Somehow, he had ended up on his nanny's chest and cradled in the man's arms. He looked up and had the perfect view of Dean's face and it was even better close up as he had expected. He could imagine lying there for hours trying to count all of the freckles that were sprinkled across his face. His hair glistened in the shimmer of light. He really was beautiful.

Castiel's second thought was wondering how the hell they had ended up like this. Not that he was _complaining_ necessarily. He felt amazingly comfortable in Dean's arms. He almost wanted to just continue laying there and go back to sleep, but his conscious told him he shouldn't. He didn't want to make Dean feel awkward, so he slipped out of the gorgeous man's arms successfully not waking him.

Castiel tiptoed to the table and found his phone. He sighed, it was dead from laying out all night without a charger. With one last look at Dean's sleeping face, he trudged up the stairs to his room. He walked towards his closet for a change of clothes that would be comfortable for his flight. He caught a glimpse of the red numbers on his alarm clock and did a double take. No, no way. That could _not_be the time. He dropped his clothes and sprinted to Claire's room down the hall. He opened her door and immediately looked at her Harry Potter clock. _Shit._ His clock hadn't been wrong.

"Dammit," he cursed forgetting he was in his nine year old daughter's room.

She stirred awake in response having always been a light sleeper. "Daddy?" she spoke still half asleep as she rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry, Claire," Castiel apologized before quickly running out of the room. He called over his shoulder, "I'm late!"

Castiel's socks skidded across the floor to his room and he heard Claire's little feet scampering after him. As he was grabbing random clothes out of his closet, Claire came into his room fully awake, "Do you need any help?"

He turned to her, "Um, yes, can you –" and he was cut off by a loud ringing from downstairs. He sighed exasperated, "Go get the phone?"

She nodded and ran off on her mission. He chuckled slightly as he quickly threw on his clothes.

Dean woke up to probably the most annoying ring he had ever heard. He groaned and rolled to his feet in search of the phone. He walked to the kitchen, half asleep and yawning. He took the offender off the hook, "Hello?"

"Castiel Novak!" a woman yelled so loudly on the other end it instantly took away any drowsiness Dean had been feeling. He pulled the phone away from his ear as she continued to scream at him. He glanced around the room and then, finally realized where he was. He was still at the Novaks. Did he fall asleep here?

"Uh, hey," Dean tried to cut in and when she didn't stop rambling, he repeated, "Hey! Who is this!?"

There was a moment of silence and then the woman spoke confused, "This isn't Castiel."

"No, this is Dean. Now, who is this? I'll go find Cas and tell him you want to talk to him," Dean offered. He wondered who it was, because it definitely wasn't Meg's voice on the other line. Claire came running into the kitchen then and halted when she saw Dean. Dean mouthed, "Go get your dad." She nodded and sprinted back out of the room.

"Dean? Who are you?" the voice still sounded very confused, but she retracted, "Wait, no, it doesn't matter. Where is Castiel? Is he on his way yet? Is he alright?"

"On his way?" Dean repeated and then, he remembered as he glanced at the clock, "Oh, shit, the plane! Did he miss it?"

The other voice on the line sounded annoyed when she replied, "No, not yet. But he will if he doesn't get his ass down here right this second!"

Dean leaned away from the phone again as the woman screeched in his ear, "Okay, okay! Damn, lady, hold on."

He set the phone on the counter and jogged towards the stairs and almost ran into Castiel coming down. Dean caught him before they collided, "Hey, man, you alright? Some chick's on the phone. You're gonna miss your flight."

Castiel nodded looking a complete mess with his hair stuck up in every which way and not having shaved, but Dean couldn't help but find him adorable. He moved past Dean to the kitchen and Dean followed behind him, "Yes, I know. We fell asleep last night downstairs, so I didn't hear my alarm go off."

Castiel ignored the phone in favor of grabbing some pop tarts from the cabinet and pouring the fresh coffee in a tumbler. It was one of the machines that was preset to make coffee in the morning and had been a lifesaver for Castiel, especially on days like this. Dean leaned against the counter, "You don't want to get the phone? She sounds pretty pissed."

Castiel shook his head, "It's probably Hester. I'd rather not. Just tell her I just left."

Dean chuckled under his breath and picked up the phone, "Yeah, he just walked out the door. Should be there soon."

The woman huffed and said, "He _better_." Then, she cut the call off. Dean hung up the phone, hoping he'd never have the pleasure of speaking to her again.

Castiel let out a breath and smiled at Dean as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder, "Thank you, Dean."

He grinned back, "Sure thing, Cas."

They stared at each other for a moment, before Claire ran into the room and tugged on Castiel's hand, "Daddy! You need to _go_!"

He laughed and looked back up at Dean, "Yeah, I should get going. You good?"

Dean nodded and walked with Castiel out to his Cadillac, "Yeah. I still got all the phone numbers and everything. We should be fine."

Castiel threw his travel bag and suitcase in the backseat and turned to Claire who had followed them out. He kissed her on the head and hugged her, "Okay, I'll be back tomorrow night. Be good for Dean."

Claire sang, "No promises!" before skipping back to the house.

Castiel chuckled looking after her before looking at Dean hesitantly, "Well, goodbye Dean. Call me if you need anything."

Dean smiled at him as Castiel met his eyes over the car, "Bye, Cas."

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel let out a deep breath as he collapsed into his seat. He had made it. _Barely._ But he had made it. Zachariah probably would have fired him on the spot if he had missed the plane. His coworker, Anna, laughed beside him, "You alright there, Castiel?"

He nodded with his eyes still closed as he leaned back into the seat. The seat was uncomfortable as he had expected and he felt extremely claustrophobic cramped with people all around him. He thought about this morning and remembered Dean's arms wrapped around him. He missed it and wondered if he'd have the chance to experience that feeling again.

"So," Anna spoke beside him as people clattered around them, "Hester told me she called this morning."

"And?"

"Yeah, she didn't get a chance to speak with you. She's still really mad. You should probably try and keep your distance from her for a while."

Castiel sighed, not looking forward to it. Hester was the team leader and this was her first time doing so. She was completely on edge with her stress and had been all week. Castiel was sure he was going to get an earful for screwing up on the first day before they had even arrived. He shrugged, "Maybe she'll cool down during the flight."

"Yeah, maybe," Anna agreed and Castiel heard something in her tone that made him open his eyes and squinted at her. There was something she wanted to say, but she was keeping it to herself. Castiel had known her for years going back to when he was interning. She was like a sister to him and he could tell when something was up, especially with the closed lip smile on her face.

"What is it, Anna? Something on your mind?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

She looked away, "Nope."

"Anna."

She turned to him with an excited smile, "Who's Dean?"

Castiel stared at her wide eyed and felt his breath catch in his throat, "W-what?"

"Dean. The sexy voiced guy who answered your phone this morning?"

"Oh, he's, uh, - " Castiel spoke, not understanding why his mouth couldn't form the simple word "nanny".

Anna hit him playfully on the shoulder, "Why didn't you tell me you were dating someone?" She pouted at him, "I'm your best friend and you didn't even tell me? And then, I had to hear it from _Hester_ of all people."

"No, Anna, he's not – I'm not – we're not together. He's just my nanny," Castiel finally stammered out.

Anna's smile froze and slowly fell, "What? _Nanny_?"

"Yes, a nanny. He's been taking care of Claire while I'm at work, since Meg moved to California," Castiel looked away from her and out the window.

Anna was quiet for a moment, before she asked, "So, you're _not_ dating?"

"No," Castiel sighed.

A few minutes passed by in silence, and then Anna asked, "Hey, why were you late today, anyway?"

Castiel didn't turn back to her as he watched the patchwork of greens and browns move thousands of feet below them, "Oh, we were watching a movie last night and we fell asleep in the living room. So, no alarm to wake me up."

A smile crept back up on Anna's face, though Castiel didn't see it, "We?"

"Yes, Claire, Dean, and-"

Anna chuckled beside him and he realized his mistake. He turned to her, "Wait, it's not –"

She waved her hand at him, shaking her head, "Yeah, right, Castiel. You and your nanny seem pretty close. Watching movies together and falling asleep on the couch in each other's arms. How romantic."

Castiel didn't reply and Anna laughed harder, "Oh my god, Castiel! You're like fifty shades of red."

Castiel turned back to the window, feeling the heat on his skin. After Anna's laughter died off, she put her hand on his arm, "I'm sorry, Castiel. It's just I've never seen you like this."

When Castiel didn't respond, she asked softly, "You really like him, don't you?"

Though Castiel felt his heart rate pick up at the question, he answered, "Dean's just my nanny."

Anna sighed, but dropped the subject and pulled out a magazine.

When they got in their cab to go to the hotel, Castiel turned on his phone to check in with home even though he was probably being overbearing. It had thankfully charged during the flight with a portable charger his older brother, Gabriel, had bought him. The AT&amp;T logo flashed on the screen and then, his home screen appeared. He was about to press the dial icon, when he saw it. He brought the phone closer and _oh my god_. He gasped and went to his gallery. And there it was. He had no idea how it had gotten on his phone. After a couple of seconds, his mind was working enough to assume it must have been Claire.

Anna looked over at him at his sharp intake of breath and when she saw him smiling, she glanced at his phone. She snorted and said under her breath, "_Just_ a nanny, my ass."


	5. Family don't end with blood, boy!

Dean sighed as he finally tore his eyes away from the black Cadillac when it rounded the corner. He walked back to the house to find Claire watching from the door. She had a small frown on her face, but when Dean opened the door, she perked up, "I put your phone on a charger."

He ruffled her hair as he followed her to the living room, "Thanks, Claire Bear. That reminds me we need to go stop by my place. I hadn't been planning on sleeping over last night, so I don't have any of my stuff."

She gave him an excited look, "Really? I get to go see your house?"

He chuckled finding his phone plugged into the wall, "Well, it's not a _house_. It's an apartment, a lot smaller than this place."

"Still it's where you live and where you sleep and where you invite your friends over! It's home," Claire gave him a very serious look.

He knelt down in front of her, "There's one thing you got to know about homes, Claire." He lightly poked her chest, "They're where the heart is. I know it might sound cheesy and don't ever tell anyone I said it, but sometimes where you live is just where you live and you find home somewhere else."

She smiled, "Okay, then where _is_ your home, Dean?"

Dean gave her a lopsided smile, "Wherever my family is, Claire. Now, why don't you go brush your hair and your teeth, and we'll head over to my place?"

She nodded and ran up the stairs to do as she was told. He called after her, "And grab some shoes!"

Dean turned back to his phone and it was powered enough to turn on. After a few seconds, the home screen finally popped up. He looked at the battery percentage, 30%. Well, that was good enough to get there and back. He unhooked the charger and was about to put the phone in his pocket, when he saw that he had a message. It was from Cas, sent at one in the morning last night. But hadn't Cas been asleep by then? He opened the message and felt his heart flutter at the image. Yeah, that was definitely him holding Castiel in his arms last night. But where had this picture come from? And it had been sent from Cas's phone, so that mean's he must have seen it by now, right? Well, he was getting on a plane, so Dean had a few hours before his boss called telling him he was a pervert.

"Alright, Dean, I'm ready! Let's go!" Claire spoke up from behind him and he jumped.

He must've still been blushing, because Claire looked at the phone in his hand and giggled, "Did you see the picture?"

"Claire, did you take this?" Dean asked, mortified.

She nodded proudly and Dean put his head in his hands.

She walked up to him and tugged on an arm, "What's wrong?"

"Did you take this on your dad's phone?"

"Yes."

Dean groaned and Claire frowned, "I don't see what you're so upset about. You two looked very cute."

Dean sighed, knowing he was acting like a teenage girl, "You're right. I'm sorry, Claire. Let's go."

Claire grinned and ran out the door. He chuckled and chased after her.

Once Dean unlocked his apartment door, Claire ran inside to go explore and Dean hoped the place wasn't too bad a mess. He left her to do what she wanted and went to go grab the bag he already had ready. When he came back, Claire was staring intently at the pictures on the wall in the living room.

She looked up as Dean walked over and pointed at one, "Dean, who's this pretty lady?"

"That's my mom," Dean smiled.

"Will I get to meet her?" Claire looked up at him with a wide grin, clasping her hands.

Which made his heart break, "No, I'm sorry, pumpkin. She passed away when I was a little younger than you."

Claire's face fell and Dean thought that maybe he should've just lied instead. She spoke in a small voice, "I'm sorry, Dean."

He ruffled her hair, "Don't worry about it, kiddo. It was a long time ago."

Claire nodded and looked back at the pictures. She hesitantly pointed at another one, "Who's this?"

"Ah, that's my dad," Dean sat down on the edge of the table, since she seemed to want to keep looking.

"He's in the army?" Claire rose her eyebrows, glancing back at the picture of John Winchester suited up in complete camo.

"Yeah, he has been since I was a kid," Dean spoke, hoping she'd want to leave instead of hearing about his horrible childhood.

She frowned again, "Then, who took care of you? Did you have a nanny like me?"

Dean chuckled at the thought of calling Bobby a _nanny_, "Uh, well, yeah, kinda." He stood up and pointed at a picture, "This is Bobby. He took care of me and my little brother, after my dad went to the army."

She grinned, "Show me your brother!"

Dean pointed at another picture and Claire's small jaw dropped, "His hair's so long!"

He laughed, "Right? I tell him the same thing. But he refuses to cut it."

After a moment longer of Claire looking at the pictures, she ran over and hugged Dean around the waist and said into his shirt, "I'm sorry you're all alone, Dean. You said home is where your family is, but they're not here. Does that mean you're homeless?"

Dean felt his heart twist as he looked down at the small girl who felt so bad for him, "No, Claire."

She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes, "How?"

He smiled at her, "Because, I still have my family and friends who love me even if they're not always around."

"But your mom…and your dad's in the army and Sammy's lives all the way in California."

Dean crouched and looked her in the eyes, "Yeah, that may be true. But my Uncle Bobby taught me something, when I was around your age. I was crying, because I thought I was all alone with just my brother left in my family. Just like you're thinking right now. And you know what he told me?"

Claire didn't leave his eyes, "What?"

"He said, 'Family don't end with blood, boy!'"

Claire scrunched her eyebrows, "What does that mean?"

"It means that just because someone may not be related to you by blood, if you love them, then they're family. And also, just because someone is related to you by blood, if they haven't loved you and proven that they're family, then they're not. So, I've got family, Claire. I've got Sammy even if he's not here, and Bobby, and a lot of my other friends that I consider family."

Claire looked down and nodded, thinking about it. Then, she looked back up at him, "So, as long as you love someone, they're family?"

Dean grinned, "Now you're starting to get it. Come on, let's get going. I still have to cook us breakfast."

Dean picked up his bag off the floor and walked to the door with Claire behind him. After, he shut it and locked it, he felt Claire grab his hand. He looked down at her, but she didn't look up at him as she spoke, "Dean, you're part of my family."

Dean stared at blonde head refusing to look up. He chuckled at this precious child and scooped her up into his arms. He kissed the top of her head, "Me, too, Claire." He carried her to the Impala and wondered how he'll ever be able to deal with letting her go.

_**DIVIDER**_

It had been a long day. Castiel was tired and he just wanted to curl up in his hotel bed. But Anna and Balthazar had dragged him out for drinks. An hour into it and they were out on the dance floor with drinks in hand, while Castiel sat idly by, content at the bar.

He was starting to worry he'd have to carry Balthazar back to the hotel if the moves he was displaying on the dance floor were anything to measure how soon he'd become incoherent. Then, someone tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, is that seat taken?"

Castiel turned around to see a shy beautiful woman gesturing to the seat on his right, "Uh, no?"

She smiled at him, before sitting down. Castiel glanced at her curiously. She had soft gray eyes and long straight black hair that contrasted with her white button down and jeans. She turned to him and asked, "So, what are you drinking? I have no idea what to get."

Castiel looked down at his almost empty bottle, "I was just having a beer. Not much of a drinker?"

She shook her head, "Oh, no, I am most certainly not." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder to a few girls completely plastered at a table nearby and laughing their asses off, "My sister's bachelorette party. I just wasn't finding anything funny that they were saying like they seemed to be."

Castiel nodded, "Well, then, I suggest _not_ getting the jello shots that they've been ordering. Maybe a beer?"

She smiled and it touched her eyes, "Alright." She ordered a light beer and then, asked, "So, what brings you here if you don't mind me asking?"

Castiel nodded his head to the direction¬ of his two idiots, "Drinks after work. I was kind of dragged out here against my will."

She laughed and it sounded so lighthearted, "Well, I can relate there." She stuck out her hand with a slight blush in her cheeks, "I'm Hael."

He shook it, "Castiel."

She raised her eyebrows, "No way? Two angels meet in a bar, what are the odds of that?"

Castiel chuckled, "Must be fate."

They talked for around another hour and Castiel decided he really liked Hael. She was just a couple years younger than him, but she was very smart, still attending med school. Castiel found it easy to fall into conversation with her. When the light shun on her face, he could see freckles across her nose. It tugged at his heart, but something at the back of his head told him it didn't have anything to do with the girl in front of him. Then, when she mentioned her brother was fixing up an old classic Chevelle, it made him think of Dean and his "Baby". After that, Dean wouldn't stop popping up into his head no matter how many beers he had with the beautiful girl, Hael. It was little things, too, like how when the bartender handed him another drink, he caught sight of his green eyes and couldn't help but think they were the _wrong shade_. Or how when a rare rock song would come on the speakers, he'd imagine Dean singing along. But Castiel tried to ignore the thoughts, shoving them into a drawer far in his mind wishing he had a lock and key.

Then, Anna texted him and things changed.

_Hey, Castiel, we're heading back to the hotel. But I can handle Baltzy if you wanna stay with your "friend". Good luck! ;)_

Castiel rolled his eyes, but looked up unsure at Hael. She was giving him a lopsided smile, "So, I think my sister and her friends have finally left. I should get going, too."

"Oh, well," Castiel glanced back down at his phone, "It was, uh, nice meeting you, Hael."

She nodded and pressed her lips together and got off the barstool, grabbing her purse and jacket. She turned to leave, but then looked back at Castiel over her shoulder. Her cheeks turned pink and she stepped closer to him, "Well, if you don't have to go back with your coworkers…do you want to come back to my place?"

Castiel looked at her in surprise and then, at the dance floor, but like Anna had said, they'd already left. He turned back to Hael and she was biting her lip nervously, waiting for an answer. Her laugh came out shaky, "So, uh, how 'bout it, Cas?"

_Cas_. The word rang through his head, but belonging to a different voice. Then, Castiel realized he had already knew his answer before she'd even asked. He wasn't going home with her. She was beautiful, intelligent, and kind. She was perfect, she truly was and he would have without a doubt taken her up on her offer a year ago. But Castiel's definition of perfect had changed since then.

He gave her a warm smile, "I'm sorry, Hael, but I can't."

Her face fell and she stared at him for a second, but then she smiled and looked down at her shoes. She laughed softly, "Ah, I had thought there was someone else."

Castiel tilted his head at her, "Why?"

She nodded to his phone and blushed, "I, uh, saw the home screen when you looked at it a while ago. But I had hoped I just saw wrong." She shrugged, "Can't blame a girl for trying though, right?"

Castiel looked at her sadly, "I'm sorry, Hael."

She shook her head, "Nah, don't worry about it." She looked down at his phone, "Why don't you give him a call?" and before Castiel could respond, she waved and walked away. As she disappeared through the doors, Castiel knew whoever did accept her off would be a very lucky person.

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel's cellphone weighed heavily in his hand and he sighed. He put a few bills down on the bar and walked through the outdoors to outside. He leaned against the brick wall of the building and let out a deep breath. He could still taste the alcohol on his lips and he hoped the night air would help clear his head. It was quiet outside with just the muffled sound of the music from the bar. There was no one walking on the streets. He was all alone, left to his thoughts.

He sloped against the building and fell to the ground. He leaned his head back and looked up at the stars. He must be really drunk, because he stared at them disappointed. _They weren't his stars._ Which was a ridiculous though, he was only on the other side of Kansas, not the world. His eyes fell on the phone in his hand. He swiped the unlock screen and stared at his new wallpaper. His thumb hovered over the dial icon and he took another deep breath.

He slowly brought the phone up to his ear and counted the rings. _One. Two. Three. Four. Fi-_

"Cas?" Dean answered groggily and disoriented.

Castiel pulled the phone away and glanced at the screen. _1:30 AM_ He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Damn, I woke you up, didn't I? I'm sorry. I'll just –"

"No," Dean quickly said, "I mean, uh, yeah, you did. But it's okay. Wasn't having a good dream, anyway." Castiel could practically hear Dean's charming smile at the end and he grinned in response.

He chuckled, "Oh yeah? Well, then I think you owe me a 'Thank you, Cas'."

Dean laughed, "You drunk, Cas?"

"I don't think that's even close, Dean," Castiel ignored the question.

Dean laughed under his breath, but obliged, "Thank you, Cas."

Castiel sighed happily. Hearing Dean's thick with sleep voice made him forget everything else. He forgot he was on the cold ground outside of a bar with music pumping through the walls and a dog barking down the street. He forgot about the cold air that was picking at him through his thin dress shirt. Dean's laugh made him smile and though Hael's laugh had been melodic, it wasn't anything compared to Dean's.

There was a silence on the phone, but Castiel didn't feel uncomfortable. He could hear Dean breathing and it made him want to be home. _God, he was hopeless. He hadn't even been gone a whole day._ But he started thinking that maybe Dean didn't feel the same way and that he was annoyed with his boss's inappropriate drunken phone call past in the middle of the night. _Boss._ Yeah, Castiel was Dean's _boss_ and _just_ a boss. That's all. The reminder hurt and he thought by how tight his chest got that the alcohol was only making it worse.

He was about to apologize to Dean and hang up the phone, but then a smooth voice asked, "So, how was your day, Cas?"

Castiel's heart stopped and then, he smiled as he answered, "It was, uh, good, I guess. Work went well and Hester said she probably won't kick my ass. Then, Anna and Balthazar insisted on dragging me out to this bar and then left without me. So, here I am, just sitting here outside, looking up at the stars. They look really different over here, you know?"

Dean chuckled softly, "Cas, you're not that far away. I bet they're the same stars I'm looking at."

"Promise?" Castiel asked barely audible, lost in the night sky. He didn't know why he said it, but it had already slipped out and there was no taking it back.

"Yeah, I promise, Cas," Dean replied with amusement in his tone, but his voice dripped with affection.

Castiel's muscles loss their tension and he felt a warmth run down his veins that had nothing to do with the alcohol. He sighed comforted, still staring at the dark sky, and Dean asked, "Why did, uh, Balzar and Anna ditch you?"

"Balthazar," Castiel corrected out of habit and answered without thinking, "Anna thought I was going to go home with someone."

Castiel heard Dean catch his breath and there was a short silence, before he spoke, "But you, uh, didn't?"

"No," Castiel said as he squinted at a cluster of stars trying to make them into a picture, "She was beautiful and kind and she offered, but I told her no. I couldn't stop thinking about –" He caught himself, thankfully, and stopped mid-sentence. He tore his eyes away from the stars, feeling a lot more sober all of a sudden. He internally groaned and banged his head against the wall behind him. God, he was such an idiot. He had _not_ just been about to say that.

"Th-thinking about what?" Dean asked on the other line, waiting for Castiel to finish.

"How, I, uh, I just didn't really feel it, I guess," Castiel replied, lamely. _There was no way he bought that._

Castiel didn't know if he had believed him, but Dean didn't call him out on it and just simply responded, "Oh."

"Yeah," Castiel tried to think of something else to say to get away from that conversation, "Um, Claire! How's Claire?" _Did you seriously just forget all about your daughter and just call to flirt with the sexy nanny?_

"She's, uh, she's good," Dean cleared his throat, "We just watched Star Wars movies all day. We should be able to finish them by tomorrow night. We had breakfast for dinner and I made her blueberry pancakes. She loved them, just like I told her she would."

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel said, always amazed with how much love Dean put into taking care of Claire.

Dean let out a small laugh, "Just doing my job, Cas."

"No, you always do a lot more than that," Castiel argued.

Dean didn't respond, not that Castiel had really expected him to. He had long ago guessed that the man must not be used to compliments, considering he never knew how to take them. He would either deny them or just shrug them off without really commenting.

Castiel was about to say something else, but his mind went blank when a couple stumbled out of the bar with their arms wrapped around each other. One of the men glanced at Castiel on the ground and smiled at him, before walking the other way with his partner. Castiel saw in the light from the bar that his eyes had been green, but they hadn't had any gold in them. Something Castiel wouldn't have noticed nor cared about a few months ago, but not made his stomach drop with disappointment.

Castiel thought out loud with a sigh, "I miss you." Then, he realized what he said a second later and laughed at himself, "Wow, I must be_very_ intoxicated. I cannot believe I just said that. Let's just forget that happened."

"Cas –"

Castiel stood up from the ground, probably too quickly considering that he had to grab the wall for support before he fell over, "Dean, I'm sorry I woke you. I should let you, uh, get back to sleep."

Dean started to say something, but must of thought better of it, because he just spoke in a defeated tone, "Alright."

"Alright, goodbye De-"

"Cas, wait," Dean interrupted him, before Castiel could end the call.

Castiel felt his heart rate pick up, "Y-Yes?"

"I, uh, miss you, too," Dean answered and Castiel could swear his voice was more intoxicating than a whole liquor store.

Castiel felt himself sigh in relief and bit back all the responses swarming in his head and said instead, "Goodbye, Dean."

"Bye, Cas," Castiel heard Dean smile through the phone and he wished he could have seen it in person.

_**DIVIDER**_

Dean laid awake in his bed, feeling weird, but not being able to put his finger on it or at least not wanting to. He tried to revel in the fact that Claire has now successfully watched the whole Star Wars saga and that it was a major accomplishment. She had been so happy she had immediately went to go start on the books after the credits rolled.

Dean had to admit though, that he had been disappointed Castiel hadn't called tonight to entertain him with another drunk episode. It had been really _interesting_ to talk to him last night. One thing Dean had enjoyed since he stopped drinking was that he didn't have to worry about doing something stupid and not remembering it the next day. But it was always amusing to watch other people do it. There had been something in Cas's voice last night that stirred at Dean's stomach, but he tried to keep in mind that Cas hadn't been acting himself and was "under the influence".

Well, he had called this morning to check in, but it had been a really short conversation, because he had to get back to work. He had acted completely normal and hadn't said anything about the night before. Dean wondered if he even _remembered_ it, but it wasn't like he was going to ask to find out. He could live with just that one memory of Castiel's laid back persona and his deep voice saying _I miss you, Dean_.

Dean had almost fallen asleep, when Claire came running into his room and shaking him. He immediately shot up and grabbed her shoulders, "Claire? Honey, what's wrong?"

She sniffled, "I-I had – had a nightmare. Can you come to m-my room? I d-don't wanna be alone."

Dean swung his legs off the bed, "'Yeah, of course."

Claire stayed behind him as he flicked her lights on and went inside. With a small hand clutching his pajama pants, he proceeded to check the closet and then under the bed. Then, checked the window to make sure it was locked. "Alright, kiddo, everything looks clear. Do you want to try and go back to sleep?"

Claire nodded and climbed back into her bed under a purple comforter that had unicorns on it. Dean went to the door and switched off the light. He was about to close the door, when Claire called out in a quiet voice, "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

She looked down at her hands in the dark bedroom, "Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

He smiled, "Sure," and walked over to her bed. He sat beside her and leaned against the pillows, watching the night light change colors.

After a few moments, he thought she had fallen asleep, but then she whispered, "Thank you, Dean."

Castiel was exhausted and jet lagged, but he had never been so happy to see his house before, especially with the Impala parked in front of it. He was disappointed it was past midnight and Claire wouldn't be awake anymore, and probably Dean neither. He sighed happily, nonetheless, as he closed the front door behind him. He took off his trench coat and dropped his luggage in the living room, and then climbed the stairs. He walked by the guest room, but the door was shut with the lights off. As he had expected, Dean was already asleep.

When he got to Claire's door, he opened it quietly and stopped in his tracks. Illuminated by the small night light was his daughter curled up against Dean's chest and his arm slung protectively around her. Castiel leaned against the doorway, just reveling in the picture, feeling his heart melt. Yeah, Castiel may still be just his boss, but Dean didn't feel like just a nanny anymore.


	6. Don't even try and deny it

It was a few months after Castiel's business trip that Dean got the call. School had got let out and it was already a couple weeks into the summer, so Dean had been spending even more time with Claire since she'd be by herself all day without him.

Dean had taken her to the park and was trying to teach her how to throw a Frisbee, when his phone started to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket without checking the caller ID as he watched Claire chase after the flying disc.

"Hello?"

"Dean!" Charlie squealed on the other line.

"Hey, Charlie, you alright?" Dean asked, because she sounded hysterical.

"I am _so_ alright! Dean, our surrogate mother called. They're doing induced labor on Wednesday!"

Dean grinned, "That's great, Charlie! I'm happy for you."

She laughed on the other line, "Me, too. I'm so excited to meet our little baby!"

Claire ran up to him, then, "Who's on the phone?"

Dean pulled the phone away from his mouth, "It's Charlie. The baby's being born next week."

Claire's face lit up, "Really?"

Dean nodded and Charlie heard her, "Oh, are you with Claire?" Claire had met Charlie a few times already and she adored her. Charlie's car had broken down last month, _surprisingly_, and Dean taken Claire with him after asking Cas to go rescue Charlie.

"Yeah, we're at the park," Dean answered.

"Okay, well, I won't keep you any longer, but I just wanted to ask you…" Charlie trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"Will you, uh, come Wednesday? I mean you don't like need to be in the room when the deal goes down, but uh, like after the baby's born?"

"Oh, uh," Dean responded completely taken by surprise.

"It's just you and Sam are like all the family I've got besides Dorothy and I just kinda want you to be there? I get if you're too busy or –"

Dean chuckled and cut her off, "No, Charlie, I'm not too busy. I'll be there."

"You will?"

"I promise."

"Awesome, okay, well, I'll let you get back to it. Tell Claire I said hi. Bye, Dean," Charlie ended the call cheerfully.

Claire jumped up and down, "So, when do we get to meet the baby?"

Dean chuckled and patted her head, "Soon, Claire, you'll meet them soon. Let Charlie and Dorothy get settled and I'll take over there sometime."

Claire grinned as they walked to the Impala, "Did they find out if it's a boy or a girl?"

"No, they want it to be a surprise."

"Oh," Claire sounded disappointed as she climbed into the muscle car.

Dean pulled his phone back out and dialed Castiel's number, before he put the Impala into drive. It was his lunch hour, so he shouldn't be too busy. He answered after the first few rings, "Dean?"

"Hey, you aren't busy, are you?" Dean asked as he stopped at a red light.

"No? Something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to ask if I could take Wednesday and Thursday off?"

"Oh?" Castiel simply responded.

"Charlie's baby's being born," Dean added, thinking he should have said that first.

"Oh, that's great!" Castiel replied and it made Dean smile.

"Yeah, so is that okay? I know some other really good nannies that could watch Claire if you don't think you can find someone," Dean offered.

"No, that won't be necessary. My brother's coming into town Monday, so he can watch her. It all works out."

"You sure?" Dean checked as he turned down a street.

"Yes, Dean. Go be there for Charlie, it's fine by me," Dean heard Castiel smile through the phone.

"Alright, thanks, Cas."

_**DIVIDER**_

"Hey, Miss Novak," Jo greeted Claire with a smile as she came by their table. Dean had brought Claire to the Roadhouse enough times that she had met Jo and Ellen both. She'd become pretty fond of Jo, even though they didn't really have anything in common besides their gold locks.

Claire grinned back at the blonde, "Hello, Jo."

Jo turned to Dean with a hand on her hip, "You know you're spoiling her by taking her out to eat every day."

Dean was about to reply, but Claire beat him too it, "Hey, I'm worth it."

Jo laughed, "Can't argue that. So, what do you want today? The usual with a chocolate shake?"

Claire nodded and after Dean gave Jo his order she wandered off to deliver it to Ash, who was manning the grill. Ten minutes later when she returned with their food, Dean noticed Claire had been unusually quiet since they arrived. He looked over at her and she had her head tilted and her eyes squinted. He raised his eyebrows at her, "Something on your mind, kiddo?"

"Is Jo your girlfriend?" she asked bluntly as she reached blindly for the straw to her milkshake, not taking her eyes off Dean.

Dean's water went down the wrong pipe and he coughed, "What? _Jo_? No way."

Her eyes didn't leave him as she slurped on her shake, "And you don't like her?"

Dean shook his head, "Not like that. I kinda grew up with her, so she's like a sister to me. It'd be weird if we were anything more."

Claire nodded, a smile forming on her lips like she was pleased with his answer. He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, "Why do you ask, Claire?"

She shrugged, glancing at Jo across the restaurant, "You just seem close to her, that's all."

"Yeah, well," Dean cradled his burger in his hands, staring at it hungrily, "When Bobby took me and Sam in, we saw her a lot, cuz Ellen was good friends with Bobby. The Roadhouse became like a second home."

Claire grinned, "Is that why you always bring me here?"

Dean winked at her, "Guess you caught me."

She laughed and reached for her milkshake again, but ended up knocking it over instead. It went all over her blouse. She squealed at the cold and tried to hold her shirt away from her body. Dean got up and crouched beside her with a bundle of napkins in hand. He dabbed at her shirt and teased her, "God, Claire, you're such a klutz."

She glared at him and her face was red, but Dean could tell she was holding back a laugh, "Shuttup."

By the time Dean had wiped most of it away, Jo came over, "What a waste of a chocolate shake."

Claire looked up at her, nodding her head enthusiastically, "I know! And now I'm all sticky."

Jo chuckled and held her hand out to her, "Come on. I'll take you upstairs and clean you up. I probably have a shirt you can borrow."

Claire glanced at Dean and when he smiled and cocked his head to Jo, she hopped down from the booth and grabbed Jo's hand. As they walked away Jo looked over her shoulder at Dean and he mouthed, "Thank you." She just shrugged and gave him a smile that said it was no problem.

Dean turned back to the table and sighed at the sticky mess all over the seats. He was contemplating going to get a rag from the kitchen, because he didn't want to leave their table like that for Jo or one of the other waitresses to clean up, when Ellen came up behind him. He grinned at her once he saw her, "Hey, Ellen."

She smiled back and held out a rag to him, "Hey, boy."

He took it with a snort, "Thanks."

She gave him a crooked smile and sat down on his side of the booth, stealing his fries, "Not a problem."

As he wiped the leather down, Ellen asked him, "You heard anything from John lately?"

Dean's jaw clenched and he shook his head, "You heard from Bill?" Bill had gone off to the army around the same time John did, but unlike the Winchester patriarch, Bill didn't serve as much and actually tried to keep in touch with his family.

"Yeah, said he was coming home soon and this time he wasn't going to go back."

Dean looked up at her and saw Ellen's hopeful expression. He could tell she was fighting it, though. Bill said he was done with the army a lot, but Dean knew Ellen couldn't help but get her hopes up each time. But hey, maybe this time it could be true. Dean smiled at her and sat down on the now clean seat, "Hey, that's good. I'm sure Jo'd love to have him home."

Ellen nodded with a small smile, but her eyes looked sad, "Yeah, I'm sure she would."

After a moment of silence, Ellen said almost wry, "Bill said John was coming back with him."

Dean looked over at her in shock, "What? You sure?"

She gave him a worried look, "That's what he said, Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yeah, he says a lot of things. Probably was just trying to get Bill off his back."

Ellen shook her head, taking another fry, "Sounded pretty serious to me."

Dean sighed and glared at a spot on the table, not saying anything else. A couple minutes passed and Ellen stood up from the table. She put a reassuring hand on his back, "Hey, I'm all for you ignoring his ass. I'll always stand by you and Sam. Just thought I'd let you know, so you're not surprised when he shows up unexpected."

Dean didn't say anything and she shook his shoulder lightly, "Buck up, kiddo. Your dates back. Put a grin on your face or you'll worry her."

Dean looked across the restaurant to see Jo and Claire coming through the back door that hid the stairs leading up to the Harvelles apartment. He looked up at Ellen and saw the motherly face he'd grown up with, "Thanks, Ellen."

"Any time," she grinned and walked away as Claire came skipping over to him.

Jo handed him her ruined shirt and gestured to Claire proudly, "Like the shirt I picked out for her?"

Dean looked down at it and raised his eyebrows at Jo, "REO Speedwagon?"

Jo smirked, "Oh, don't act like you don't like them. I've heard you sing _Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore_ before. Don't even try and deny it."

Dean fought back a smile and Jo laughed before walking off to attend to customers. Claire looked down at her shirt and back up at him curiously, "Who's REO Speedwagon?"

Dean chuckled and got up from her seat, so she could finish eating, "I'll show you on the way home."

_**DIVIDER**_

"Sammy!" Dean wrapped his arms around his brother, "Man, it's good to see you!"

Sam laughed and hugged him back, "You, too, Dean."

Dean pulled away and looked at his front door, where he had found Sam sitting in front of, "Dude, you could have called. I would've gotten over here sooner. Didn't mean to leave you locked out."

Dean dug his keys out of his leather jacket as Sam chuckled behind him picking up his truffle bag, "Uh, I did call you, Dean. _You_ didn't answer."

Dean unlocked the door and walked inside, pulling out his phone. It flashed 'Missed Call: Samsquatch (2)'. "Oh," he said lamely as he shrugged off his jacket, "Sorry 'bout that."

Sam threw his bag on a chair and flopped down on the couch, "Dude, you never miss my calls. What were you doing? On a date or something?"

"Uh," Dean ducked his head and went into the kitchen, "No, I was at the Novaks."

Sam nodded and shrugged. _Well, that makes sense. Dean had been busy with taking care of a kid._ When, Dean walked back out he handed him a water. It had been Dean's substitute for alcohol since he stopped drinking, which Sam was proud of. Sam glanced at his watch and asked, "Oh, do the parents work nights or something? It's pretty late."

Dean shook his head and took a drink of his own water, "No, I was having dinner with them."

Sam scrunched his eyebrows at his brother, "What? Why? Isn't that kind of weird?"

Dean looked away from him, "No. Cas kept inviting me to stay, so it just became a thing."

"Ohh," Sam smirked and leaned into the couch, "_Cas_, huh? I see what's going on."

Dean's cheeks turned pink and he turned back to his brother, "No, no – that's not – we aren't like –"

Sam's laughter cut him off, "Oh my god. Dean, seriously? Your _boss_?"

Dean huffed frustrated, "Shut up, Sam. It's not like that."

Sam's laughter died down, "Oh, come on, Dean. You've never stuck around for dinner with a client before, let alone every night."

Dean rolled his eyes, "It's not _every_ night."

Sam gestured at him, "And you're calling him _Cas_? Dude."

Dean groaned and leaned back in his recliner, throwing his hands over his face, "Oh God, Sam, stop. I've already heard all this from Charlie. I don't need it from you, too."

Sam chuckled, "So, you've been gushing over your crush with Charlie? Wow, you must have it bad."

Dean stood up from his chair and pointed a finger at his brother, "I did not _gush_ over my crush with Charlie!"

Sam was enjoying this way more than he should and just looked up at Dean, pulling his eyebrows together, "He's not married is he?"

"What? No!" Dean walked away from him towards the kitchen, "What the hell, Sam? I have better morals than that and you know it."

Sam followed after him like a puppy with a big grin, "So, you _do_ like him?"

Dean glared at his brother and opened the refrigerator, "This what you came all the way down from California for? To tease me about my love life?"

Same leaned against the counter, "No, I came for Charlie and the baby. This is just a plus."

Dean slammed the refrigerator door and raised his eyebrows at Sam, "You hungry? We'll have to go get something, because I don't have anything."

Sam wiggled his eyebrows, "Of course, you don't. Since, you practically live over at _Cas's_?"

Dean groaned, "Do you want food or not?"

Sam chuckled, "No, I'm fine, Dean."

Dean sighed and turned to the doorway, "Well, if you're done mocking me, I'm going to go to sleep. You know where your room is."

"Dean, wait," Sam called after him and the teasing had left his voice. Dean stopped and turned around with raised eyebrows. "Dean, I wasn't _mocking_ you. I just wanted you to talk to me about it."

Dean leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest, "Oh, yeah, and then we can watch _Love Actually_ and I can braid your hair."

Sam gave him an exasperated look, "Dean."

Dean sighed and stared at a spot on the wall avoiding Sam's eyes, "Look, man, I don't know. I mean he's my _bossblushing_ a while ago," Sam grinned.

Which only made Dean's cheeks go warm at the acknowledgement and he looked down at his boots. After a moment of silence, he said, "Sammy, I could lose my job over this."

"Then, you'll just move on to a new family," Sam shrugged, not seeing the problem.

Dean shook his head, "I don't _want_ a new family. I like it the way things are and I'm not about to screw it up over something stupid like this."

Sam looked at him sadly, "Dean, it's not stupid if you really care about the guy."

Dean laughed humorlessly, "Hey, I never even said the guy even liked me back. So, why are we even talking about this like it's some foreseeable future?"

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, alright," Dean sighs, "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. See you in the morning, Sammy."

Sam sighed, too, as he watched his brother walk out of the room and figuratively out of any conversation that had to do with feelings.

_**DIVIDER**_

"I was thinking about making bowtie chicken tonight. My coworker, Tina, gave me a recipe to try out. That alright with you?" Castiel asked as he sat down beside Dean on the couch.

Claire perked up from the floor, where she'd been sprawled out reading one of the Star Wars books, "I vote yes. Pasta sounds awesome."

Castiel chuckled and raised his eyebrows at Dean, "Awesome? She's obviously been spending way too much time with you."

Dean grinned, "Hey, I am a great influence."

Castiel returned the smile, "I'm sure you are."

They stared at each other for a moment, never breaking eye contact. It wasn't awkward, though, nor uncomfortable. Dean felt completely at ease to be sitting with Castiel on the small couch. But then he remembered something, "Oh, Cas, I can't stay for dinner tonight. Sam's in town and he wanted to go visit some family, so I let him borrow the Impala. He's coming to pick me up in about twenty minutes."

Castiel looked disappointed for a second, then thought of something. He glanced at Dean uncertain and bit his lip. Dean's eyes were drawn to the movement as Castiel's white teeth bit into the pink flesh. When Castiel started talking, Dean shook himself out of it and returned his gaze to the man's blue eyes, "Well, how about Sam stay for dinner as well?"

The surprise must have been evident on Dean's face, because Castiel backtracked, "Um, well, only if it's not too weird and if Sam would like to. He's more than welcome."

Claire looked up at them excited from the floor, but didn't say anything. Dean always talked about his little brother, Sammy, and Claire's been wanting to meet him. Dean says he's almost as big a nerd as she is. So, in her book, he sounded like a good guy.

"Cas, you don't have to do that," Dean spoke a little in awe. Before the Novaks, Dean had never even been invited to dinner for more than one occasion, let alone having his family be invited as well. He already felt like he was pushing the boundaries of his relationship with the Novaks. He wasn't sure if that was his fault for wanting more or because of Castiel's kindness. But in the end, he still didn't want Castiel to feel he had to do anything just because it was the _polite thing to do_.

Castiel's eyes flickered away from him and if Dean didn't know any better, he'd think he was nervous, "I know, but you always talk about Sam and I feel like I already know him. Really, Dean, he's welcome if he wants. But I don't want to force anything on you. It won't hurt my feelings."

Dean smiled at him, "Thanks, Cas. I'll call him and ask him if he wants to." He stood up and walked around the couch, his hand reaching out to brush against Castiel's shoulder as he passed him. Dean stepped into the kitchen and went out the backdoor to the yard. He pulled out his phone and dialed Sam's number.

"Dean? I just left Bobby's, I'll be there soon," Sam answered after the first couple rings.

Dean swallowed thickly, wondering why he felt anxious about asking Sam. It was just _Sam_. But he knew why. Sam would find some way to make a big deal out of this, when it really wasn't. "Hey, so how is the old man? Haven't seen him recently."

"He's good. Before I left he was bitching about a dumb client at the shop, though. But I'm pretty sure he'd cheered up by now. Guess who stopped by?" Dean could hear Sam smile at the end.

Dean chuckled, "It was Jody, wasn't it?"

"Yup. Guess the old man's still got it. She brought him lunch from the Roadhouse. She's good for him, he needs to keep her around."

"Yeah," Dean replied, biting the inside of his cheek.

Sam must have heard something in his voice, because he asked, "Dean? What's up?" Because of course Sam would catch anything wrong with Dean, even over the phone.

"Cas invited you to stay for dinner?" Dean just blurted out with a nervous chuckle.

Sam was quiet for a moment, but Dean could practically hear his grin widening over the phone, "And you said he didn't like you."

"What?" Dean spoke, but his voice came out a pitch too high. He cleared his throat as Sam laughed on the other line. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"He wants to meet your family, Dean. That's kind of a clear sign he wants more."

Dean groaned. He _knew_ Sam would do this. "Oh, come on, Sammy. That's not what this is. He's just being nice."

"Who invites their nanny's brother to have dinner with the family?"

Dean didn't reply, not really knowing how to refute whatever was turning in Sam's head. Yeah, his relationship with his boss was closer than most, but it wasn't what Sam was thinking. No, Dean couldn't let Sam talk him into getting his hopes up just so they could be crushed later. "It's not that weird. I already have dinner with them most nights. I'm sure when I told him I couldn't stay because you were picking me up, it just seemed like the polite thing to do."

Dean imagined Sam rolling his eyes with the tone of his, "_Sure_, Dean."

"Don't turn it into something it's not, Sammy. Look, you don't have to do this. We can have dinner somewhere else. Cas'll understand. I mean you don't even know him. We can stop by the Roadhouse or –"

Sam cut him off and his voice came out more gentle, "Dean, you like this guy, right?"

Dean sighed, "Well, yeah, but Sam, you don't –"

"Then, I want to meet him. I'll be there in a fifteen minutes," Sam interrupted him again.

Dean must have took too long to reply, because Sam asked unsure, "If that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, Sam, it's alright. See you in a bit."

Dean ended the call and looked back at house, feeling butterflies in his stomach. Which was ridiculous. _Why did he even feel nervous about this?_ It wasn't like Sam was meeting his _boyfriend_ or something. It was just _Cas_.


	7. It's supposed to be bitesize

Sam tried, without success, to stop grinning as he pulled into the Novaks' driveway next to a black Cadillac. He was really curious to meet this guy Dean had fallen head over heels for. He'd asked Charlie what she knew about Castiel earlier when he stopped by her and Dorothy's place to help with the last minute baby-proofing. She completely blabbed for thirty minutes about Dean's crush on the guy and how his name would always find a way into their conversations. Dean had denied it when she asked, too, but even she could tell he was lying. Sam couldn't wait to meet the person who could make Dean Winchester blush and stutter like a teenage girl.

He combed his fingers through his hair and smoothed out his shirt, which was probably pointless considering how wrinkled it was. But he wanted to make a good first impression, because he had a feeling he'd be seeing a lot of Castiel Novak in the future. He rang the doorbell and heard a small voice yell, "Coming!"

Seconds later the door was thrown open and Sam looked down at the little girl grinning widely up at him. He knelt down to her eye level, because it was straining his neck to look down at her. He smiled at her and lightly poked her stomach, "You must be Claire?"

She giggled and nodded, "And you must be Sammy?"

He laughed, "Well, only my brother calls me that. It's actually Sam. But I think I can make an exception for you, but only if you answer this question correctly. Dean tells me you're really cool, so I think you'll do okay."

She stared at him intently and waited. He pursed his lips and then asked, "Have you read or watched Harry Potter?"

She grinned and put her hands on her hips proudly, "Both. I even have a Harry Potter clock in my room."

Sam chuckled, "Then, I have to say you passed the test, Miss Novak. Gotta say I'm impressed."

She stepped aside and gestured widely, "Then, come inside, Sammy."

Sam walked into the house, the smell of something delicious and the pounding of a bass welcomed him as he entered the living room. He glanced around the room and saw Dean's leather jacket draped casually over a recliner and his Doc Martens by the couch. He looked down at Claire and she was just patiently watching him check out her house. "Where's Dean and your dad?"

"The kitchen," Claire pointed at a door where the music was thumping loudly from. She rolled her eyes with a smile, "They probably didn't even hear the doorbell ring over the music."

Sam laughed. Well, that sounded like Dean. Claire walked towards the door and he followed quietly behind her. She opened the door and Sam instantly heard his brother's laughter. He stepped in the warm and bright lit room after Claire. Dean and Castiel's backs were turned to him as they cooked beside each other. Sam leaned against the doorframe with a smile. They hadn't even noticed him and Claire come into the room.

"Cas, man, you cannot cut the chicken that large. It's supposed to be _bitesize_," Dean chuckled and left the pasta bowling to hover over Cas's cutting board. After a minute of Castiel probably trying to cut smaller, Dean shook his head and reached for the knife, "That's still too big. Here, let me."

Castiel pulled the knife out of Dean's reach, "Dean, I think I know how to cook." But Sam could see that Castiel was still smiling widely and there was a twinkle in his eye.

Dean grinned at him and raised his eyebrows, "Oh, yeah? And who had to tell you what saute meant?"

Castiel tried to fight back his smile and narrowed his eyes at Dean, "Shuttup, I just couldn't read Tina's handwriting."

"Uh huh, sure, Cas."

They met each other's eyes and Sam started to feel awkward standing there just watching them, because the space between the two men probably wasn't even two feet. Sam started to feel like he was intruding on something private. It was a while before they turned back to cooking, but both of their eyes kept flickering over to the other. He glanced down at Claire and she had a lopsided smile on her face. She felt his eyes on her and craned her neck to look back up at him, remembering he was there. Sam bent down beside her and whispered in her ear, "How long until you think they notice we're here?"

Claire laughed and glanced at their oblivious backs. She whispered back, "A _really_ long time."

Sam chuckled and stood back up. Claire cleared her throat loudly as the rock song on the radio faded out. Both of the men turned around and looked down at her. Then, their eyes lifted to Sam and Claire gestured dramatically to him, "Our guest has arrived."

Dean smiled at him, "Hey, Sammy," but the foam overflowing from the pasta demanded his attention and he went back to it.

"Hello, Sam. I would shake your hand, but I've been cooking," Castiel looked at him apologetically.

Sam shook his head "Oh, don't worry about."

Castiel gave him a smile and gestured to the table. Sam sat down as Castiel washed his hands, then opened his refrigerator, "I have water and tea. Which would you like?"

"Water's fine, " Sam answered and Castiel placed a bottle in front of him before returning to the stove. Claire sat beside him at the table and started talking to him about books, which he was happy to participate in. She really was a bright kid.

After Dean had told him the dinner was almost ready, Castiel's phone went off. He pulled it out of his jeans as he eyed the skillet with concentration, "Hello?"

"In a couple weeks?" Castiel glanced at Claire engaged in a conversation about the Lord of the Rings with Sam. "I don't mind. I guess. You don't want to just come down here since you're off?"

He rolled his eyes at the person's reply, "Whatever. Sure, if she wants to it's fine with me."

Then, he held the phone out to Claire, "It's your mom."

Claire grabbed the phone excitedly, "Mama?" Her smile widened at what her mother said, "Really?"

Her grin didn't fade, but she looked up at Castiel for permission. When he nodded, she answered, "Yes, I wanna go."

Claire hung up the phone soon after and set it down on the table face up. Sam caught a glimpse of the home screen, but he couldn't have seen that right. He did a double take, but the screen had already timed out and turned to black. He was tempted to reach out for the phone and press the home button, but held back his curiosity. He looked at Claire's smiling face as she hopped down from her chair and ran over to Dean to bounce in front of him, "Mama invited me to go see her for a week!"

Dean grinned down at her, "That's great, honey. When do you leave?"

"In a couple weeks."

"You excited?" Dean asked as he went to a cabinet to help Castiel serve the food.

When Dean glanced over his shoulder at her, she nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! I've never been to California!"

Sam chuckled, "I think you'll like it there, Claire."

She returned back to her seat next to Sam, "Do you like California, Sammy?"

Sam nodded, "Where does your mom live?"

Claire tilted her head as she thought, and then she said, "Orange County."

"Maybe you can convince her to take you to the beach."

Claire's smile grew even bigger and it made Sam wondered how often she actually got to see her mom. But he didn't ask and Castiel and Dean soon placed their plates on the table.

Dean moaned around his fork and Sam laughed. So, even here Dean didn't hold back on his love of food. "This is delicious. I kinda want to marry Tina for giving us this recipe."

Sam noticed the slip of _us_ by Dean and glanced at Castiel. But he just grinned at Dean, either not bothered by it or hadn't even noticed. "Tina's already married, Dean."

Dean shrugged as he went for another bite, "Well, Mr. Tina is a very lucky man."

_**DIVIDER**_

Sam decided he _really_ liked Castiel. The guy was smart, incredibly kind, and a good father to Claire. Even ignoring all of that Sam still would've liked him just because of the way Dean's face would light up when Castiel smiled at him. With the way they looked at each other, Sam found it hard to believe they _weren't_ dating.

Castiel asked halfway through dinner, "So, Sam, Dean told me you got an internship at a law firm this summer? That's pretty impressive, you're just a junior, right?"

Sam glanced at Dean, but he just shrugged and gave him a proud smile, "It is impressive, man. Excuse me for bragging about it to anyone who'll listen."

Sam laughed and turned back to Castiel, "Yeah, I guess I'm pretty lucky to be working with them. I start in a week, so I have to head back right after the baby's born."

Castiel smiled and nodded, "Well, it sounds like you're on the right track. Congratulations on the internship."

"Thanks, Cas."

Claire piped up beside him, "Sammy, what kind of music do you listen to?"

Sam faltered for a second at the unexpected question, "Uh, I like just about anything. I'm pretty fond of country music."

Claire nodded and then instantly asked, "Why do you keep your hair so long?"

Dean laughed beside him, "Oh, are you starting your interviews again? She did this to me my first night."

Sam thought for a minute and scrunched his eyebrows together, "I don't know, Claire. I guess I just like it this way."

Claire stared at him, "Well, it's very pretty."

Castiel and Dean laughed under their breaths and Sam narrowed his eyes at them. He turned back to Claire, "Thank you very much."

She giggled, "You're welcome." She took another minute to think of her next question and then said, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Sam nodded, picturing the gorgeous woman in his head and immediately missed her, "Yes, her name's Jess. She's very beautiful and sweet."

"Awesome!" Claire raised her hand for a highfive and it reminded Sam of Dean. _Did he have this much influence on all the kids he nannied?_ He gently slapped it.

Claire nudged her elbow against Sam, which probably looked hilarious considering how much she had to reach to do so. She whispered lowly, but Sam was sure the others could hear her, "You know, Dean blushed really hard when I asked him if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend."

Sam laughed and looked over at Dean, whose cheeks had become slightly pink. He glared at the little girl, "Yeah? Maybe I did, but Claire blushed even harder when I asked her if she had one."

"I did not!" Claire argued hotly and Dean stuck his tongue out at her, which she did in response.

Castiel burst out laughing with Sam as Dean continued to argue with Claire as if he were her age. Sam looked over at Castiel to meet his eyes and comment about how silly Dean was acting. But Castiel's eyes were on Dean watching him with a soft smile that reached his vividly blue eyes.

Sam forgot about his joke and picked his fork back up. He quietly raised the pasta to his lips, happy to be a part of the little family Dean had made with the Novaks.

_**DIVIDER**_

"It was nice finally meeting you, Sam. You know, Dean talks about you all the time. Glad I finally got to meet the face behind the stories," Castiel told him as he walked him and Dean to the door.

Sam grinned, "Well, that makes me kinda wry, wondering what all Dean's told you."

Castiel chuckled and clasped him on the shoulder, "Oh, don't worry. Nothing too embarrassing."

"Not very comforting, Cas."

Castiel smiled and paused near the door, "Well, drive safe and remember you're always welcome back."

Sam stepped through the door, "Thanks, Cas. It was nice meeting you, too. I'll see you around."

Castiel waved to him and his eyes lingered on Dean as he followed his brother, "Goodbye, Dean."

Dean grinned back at him, "Bye, Cas."

Sam tossed Dean the keys and got into the Impala. He saw Claire waving at them from the front door with Castiel standing behind her as they pulled out of the driveway.

Once they had turned the corner, Dean looked over at Sam with a tense gaze. Sam saw his knuckles were gripping the steering wheel. "Well?"

Sam cocked an eyebrow at him with a grin, "Well, what?"

Dean huffed annoyed and his hand twitched on the steering wheel nervously. He glared at Sam out of the corner of his eye, "_Well_, you met Cas."

Sam nodded, knowing exactly what he was doing to Dean and enjoying the hell out of it, "Yup."

Dean full on turned and glared at him this time, "Come on, Sam, so, what's your verdict or whatever?"

Sam just smiled at his brother, "Verdict? I don't know what you're talking about."

By now Sam could practically see steam coming out of Dean's ears as he stopped at a stop sign, "Sam, so help me God, if you do not_stop_ fucking with me, I will chase you around the house with a damn _hammer_. You know exactly what the hell I'm talking about, you asshole. You haven't shuttup about your girl talk ever since you got here and now you don't have anything to say? Nothing at all?"

_Well, that didn't last long._ Sam sighed, wanting to have tormented his brother a little longer, but didn't want to deal with Dean's revenge if he kept going. He didn't think Dean would really chase him with a hammer, but didn't want to find out the next best thing. "Alright, calm down."

Dean visibly relaxed and his eyes returned to the road as he pressed on the gas, but Sam could still see the slight tension in his shoulders. "I like Cas. And Claire, too."

The corners of Dean's mouth tugged upwards, "Yeah?" and his eyes flickered over to his brother.

Sam glanced out the window, "Yeah, he seems like a really good guy and Claire's a cool kid." He thought Dean wouldn't want to talk anymore on the subject, but then Sam heard him let out a deep breath. He looked back over to Dean and he had a soft smile on his lips. His shoulders had relaxed and he was leaning back into the seat with his hand lazily guiding the steering wheel.

Sam chuckled, "Were you that worried about me liking them?"

Dean didn't look at him as he answered, "No."

Sam narrowed his eyes at him and Dean sighed, but his eyes stayed glued to the road, "I don't know why."

Sam grinned, "Most people are nervous about intruding their lovers to their family. Though, I've never seen you so torn up about it."

Dean grimaced and his voice lowered, "Cas isn't my _lover_, Sam. Don't call him that."

"But you want him to be, don't you? I can tell, dude. You _really_ like him. It's pretty obvious. I'm surprised Cas can't even see it," Sam shook his head with a smile.

Dean looked over at him, his eyes wide, "You don't think he knows, do you?"

Sam laughed at the petrified expression on his brother's face, "No, man, I don't think he does."

Dean sighed in relief and ran his free hand through his hair. Sam added, "Cuz he has the same problem."

"What?" Dean's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Dude, he _likes_ you. And it's probably just as much as you like him," Sam told him exasperated. It had been so plainly obvious, _nine year old Claire_ had noticed.

Dean shifted in his seat uncomfortably and he frowned, "No, he doesn't."

Sam internally groaned, knowing Dean was just going to argue with him and not let himself _just have this_. He was just going to deny everything Sam said. Hell, Castiel could have told Sam himself and Dean would just say "Well, he didn't mean it in _that_ way." Sam knew that, but he was going to give up on his brother. He deserved to be happy.

"Dean, I saw you guys tonight. Laughing and smiling from just _looking_ at each other. It's hard to believe you're _not_ together. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife."

But Dean just shook his head and didn't comment. Sam continued, "You should see the way he looks at you. Hell, you should see the way you look at _him_. Dean, I don't think I've ever seen you smile like that before."

Dean pulled the Impala into the small driveway and put into park. But he didn't make a move to get out and just stared at the steering wheel. Sam sighed and looked at his brother sadly, "Why can't you just let yourself be happy?"

Dean turned to him and his expression was hard, but Sam could see the pain in his eyes. He spoke in a low voice, "Because it never last, Sam. So, what's the point?"

Dean got out of the car without a word and went straight into the house. Sam threw his head back and stared at the Impala's ceiling. He let out a frustrated sigh, wondering if he could ever tear down that damn wall Dean built around himself. And if he never could, he hoped maybe someone else would be able to do it. And maybe that person could be Castiel.

After another minute, Sam exited the Impala and followed Dean into the house. Once he closed the door behind himself, he heard the TV playing from the living room. Sam walked in and saw Dean lounging on the couch with a bottle of water, staring at the colored screen. He glanced at Sam as he looked at him, probably worried Sam still wanted to _talk_. But Sam knew Dean would probably just leave the room without second thought if he said anything related to Castiel.

So, he just leaned into the cushions and gave Dean a weird look, "Why a hammer?"

Dean visibly relaxed and sunk more into the couch. He chuckled and gave Sam a wicked smile, "It would take a long time to beat someone to death with a hammer. More personal." He winked at the end.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Okay, another reason why if someone told me you got arrested I'd believe them on the spot."

Dean laughed and Sam could sense him silently thanking him for not pushing the Cas thing.


	8. Learn a few things from Mr Sheffield

"Cassie!" Gabriel grabbed his brother into a bear hug as soon as he opened the door. He ruffled his hair roughly as only big brothers could and Castiel groaned as he wrestled out of his arms. Gabriel laughed and looked around as he stepped into the living room. He raised his eyebrow at Castiel when there wasn't a little girl awaiting his arrival excitedly, "Where's the offspring?"

Castiel opened his mouth to reply when they heard an excited squeal from behind the kitchen door, "Uncle Gabe's here!"

Gabriel only had a second to wonder who she was even talking to before she burst through the door and jumped into his arms. He picked her up, "Well, hello there. I was just wondering where you were hiding."

She rolled her eyes, but hugged his neck, "I've missed you! And I wasn't hiding. I was coloring with Dean."

Gabriel pulled back and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, "Dean? ClaireBear, do you have a strapping young boy over?"

Castiel gave him a confused look and then realization flashed across his face, "Oh, Gabriel, no, Dean's –"

Before Castiel could finish his sentence, the devil himself walked through the kitchen door and was most certainly _not_ the strapping young _boy_ Gabriel had imagined to be playing with Claire. He absent mindedly wondered if his jaw dropped a little at the sight of him. Now, Gabriel had Kali waiting for him back home, but God if this guy wasn't one of the most beautiful creatures he'd ever laid eyes on. He was lean, covered with freckles, and had intensely green eyes.

As his eyes ran up and down the man's body unashamed, he nodded his head in approval and looked over at his brother, "Nice job, lil bro. Though, I wished you'd told me beforehand that you had a hot piece of ass over. I would've come by in the morning."

Claire buried her head in his shoulder and giggled. Castiel's eyes widened and flickered over to Dean. His cheeks were slightly pink as he clarified, "No, Gabe, Dean's my _nanny_"

Gabriel chuckled, "Yeah _right_," which made Claire laugh harder into his shoulder. He looked over at Dean with a lopsided smile and the guy almost resembled a tomato. He turned back to his still blushing brother and then down at the giggling child in his arms. "Seriously?" he asked incredulously, looking back and forth between the two men. _You have got to be kidding me._

Dean seemed to shake something off and then, give Gabriel a small smile, "Yeah, man. I'm just the nanny. Name's Dean."

He held out his hand to him and Gabriel put Claire down before shaking it, "Gabriel." He eyed the man wryly and asked, "So, you're _not_, you know, _getting your leather stretched_ by my lil bro?"

Dean chuckled at the euphemism, but shook his head, "Nah, no leather stretching here."

Gabriel sighed, disappointed and walked past Dean to the kitchen, "Well, that sucks, or well, _doesn't_ suck."

"Gabriel," Castiel chastised and followed after him with an apologetic look over his shoulder at Dean.

Dean just stared after them a little taken aback by Gabriel's blunt personality. He glanced down at Claire standing beside him, "So, that's Uncle Gabe? The uncle with an _amazing way of words_?"

She nodded with a wide smile, "Yup, that's him."

Dean shrugged and stepped towards the kitchen, mumbling, "Well, that's one way to put it."

_**DIVIDER**_

After Castiel's insistence that Dean stay for dinner, Dean was now learning why Claire was so fond of her uncle. The guy was pretty straightforward and it took Dean off guard a couple of times, but the guy was hilarious.

"Why didn't Kali come down?" Claire asked with a pout halfway through dinner.

Gabriel smiled at her, "Well, with the baby on the way, we need all the money we can get. She had to stay home and run the bakery."

Claire leaned in close to Dean and explained what he'd already assumed, "Kali's Uncle Gabe's wife. She's having a baby."

Dean nodded and asked Gabriel, "How far along is she?"

Gabriel grinned widely, "Eight months."

"Congrats, man. One of my best friend's surrogate mother is having her baby tomorrow."

"And a congrats to her," Gabriel replied and then turned to Castiel, "And I'm assuming while loverboy is at the hospital you want me to watch Claire?"

Castiel rolled his eyes, "You were going to lay around here all day anyway."

Gabriel huffed and put on an offended expression, "Well, excuse you, Cassie. But I do still have some friends around here I could be screwing around with."

Dean laughed and Castiel gave his brother an annoyed look, "It's only two days, Gabe. Then, you can go put Michael's car on top of his apartment building or whatever pranks you have planned for your friends."

Gabriel nodded and looked over at Claire mischievously, "I guess that's not too bad. But who's to say that I can't do all of that _with _ClaireBear."

Claire giggled and nodded her head excitedly. While Castiel glared at his brother and Gabriel put his hands up defensively, "Hey, I was just kidding. Don't get your panties in a knot."

Dean chuckled along with Claire as Gabriel avoided his brother's eyes and took another bite of his food. Then, he turned to Dean and jerked his head towards his plate, "I'm guessing you cooked this?"

"Hey, I helped," Castiel said defensively before Dean could respond and Gabriel laughed.

"Cassie, you couldn't cook to save your life. I don't know how Claire's survived this long," Gabriel told him and lowered his voice to Dean, "Promise me that you'll stick around so my niece doesn't die from food poisoning?"

Dean nodded seriously and leaned towards Gabriel. He glanced at Castiel and tried to hide his smile, "I promise."

Castiel rolled his eyes affectionately, "Whatever. I am a _great_ cook."

Gabriel and Dean both snorted, but Claire piped up coming to the defense of her father, "Hey, Daddy is a great cook!"

Castiel grinned proudly, clearly touched and looked over at the other men, "See? I told you so."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and smirked at Claire, "Oh, yeah, ClaireBear? What has Daddy ever cooked for you?"

"Tacos and spaghetti and eggs and…" Claire had started off confidently, but was now looking up, trying to think of something else, "And…um…I think he made pancakes once?"

Both Gabriel and Dean burst out laughing, and Claire looked apologetically at her father. She shrugged and mouthed, "I tried."

He smiled at her and then, looked back at Gabriel and Dean. Dean was still chuckling softly, but he was staring fondly at Castiel and Castiel felt warm under the man's gaze. Dean winked at him before turning to Gabriel and asking him more about his bakery.

_**DIVIDER**_

"Dean!" Claire hugged his leg before he could make it out the front door, "I'm going to miss you!"

Dean chuckled and crouched down beside the pouting child. He spoke dramatically with a hand on her shoulder, "I know. Me, too, kiddo. I mean we haven't gone too long without seeing each other since we first met. But you know my number. Just call me if you and Uncle Gabe end up in jail."

She laughed and nodded, while Gabriel spoke offended, "Hey, I'm not dumb enough to get caught!"

Dean grinned and held up his hands, "My bad. Didn't mean to offend you, man."

Gabriel waved his hand, letting Dean know he was forgiven. Dean rolled his eyes and ruffled Claire's hair, "See you in a couple days, pumpkin."

She hugged his legs one more time, "Goodbye, Dean."

He stepped away from her and glanced over at Castiel. Castiel gave him a small smile, "Tell Charlie I wish the baby well."

Dean nodded and waved at them before leaving with a, "Later, guys," called over his shoulder.

_**DIVIDER**_

"So," Gabriel said as he and Castiel washed the dishes side by side, "Dean seems like an a-okay guy."

Castiel sighed as he scrubbed at a stubborn plate. He had been waiting all night for Gabriel to start teasing him and it had finally came. "Well, he is."

Gabriel grinned, "So, Cassie, you want to marathon _The Nanny_ anytime soon? I know a guy who has the boxset. Think you could learn a few things from Mr. Sheffield."

"_Gabriel_," Castiel drew the name out and glared at his brother.

"What?" he said innocently, "Just giving you some advice, dude."

Castiel rolled his eyes, "Oh, yes, that's exactly what you're doing."

"Come on, Cassie," Gabriel groaned, "It's time to move on from Megzilla."

"I _have_ moved on from her, Gabe. You're about seven years too late," Castiel told him annoyed. Because he _had_ moved on. He and Meg had gotten married and had Claire after only dating a year. Then, after two more years, the relationship fell apart. Castiel wasn't even sure if he'd ever truly _loved_ her or if it was just the thought of her itself.

"Then, why haven't you been in any serious relationships?" Gabriel raised his eyebrows, determined to push this.

"Gabriel, I don't really even have the time to date. I have work and Claire to take care of," Castiel shrugged, not meeting his brother's eyes.

Gabriel singed, "I call bullshit."

Castiel sighed and placed his hands on the edges of the sink, "Okay, so I have gone on a few dates, but none of them really led to anything more. I just, I don't know, I'm _tired_ of dating."

Gabriel chuckled, but shook his brother's shoulder comfortingly, "I know you want something serious, but dates are necessary, lil bro. You can't reach the finish line if you don't ever go to the start."

Castiel didn't respond, knowing his brother had a point. It annoyed the hell out of him, but he couldn't argue with the sound logic. He ignored Gabriel's knowing eyes, though, continuing to scrub at the dishes in the sink, refusing to give him the satisfaction of being right.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Fine, don't admit it. But you know I'm right. And don't think that I don't see what's going on between you and your nanny, _Mr. Sheffield_." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he began putting away dry dishes.

Castiel felt his neck warm, but he didn't meet his brother's eyes. He did _not_ want to hear Gabriel's opinion on his obvious feelings for his nanny. He'd never hear the end of it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, _sure_, you don't," Gabriel scoffed. "Like you guys weren't having eye sex all throughout dinner. Actually, no, it wasn't even eye sex. It was more like _passionate love making_ with just your eyes. And in front of poor innocent Claire!" He put his hand over his heart in mock horror and gave Castiel an aghast look.

Castiel turned away from him and wiped his hands with a dishcloth, "You're being ridiculous."

"Whatever, you're just too stubborn to admit I'm right," Gabriel mumbled as he pulled out his cellphone. He frowned when it wouldn't turn on. It must've died during dinner.

"Hey, can I use your phone? I need to call Kali and check on her," Gabriel asked and Castiel handed him his cell, without a second thought then continued to tidy up the kitchen.

Gabriel was about to tap the dial icon, when he saw it. His jaw dropped and then, quickly turned into a wide smile, "Guess you don't need _The Nanny_ box set after all, huh, baby bro? But your _wallpaper_? _Really_? And you're not even together? I don't know, that seems a bit thirteen year old girl with a celebrity crush to me."

Castiel looked over his shoulder at him confused, but then, realization seemed to have hit him like a truck and he looked terrified. Gabriel had never seen so many emotions flicker across someone's face like that before. Castiel instantly tried to snatch his phone back, but Gabriel pulled it out of reach just in time.

"Oh, no, you don't. I'm not giving you the opportunity to delete this," Gabriel shook his head as he backed slowly out of the kitchen. As the door swung shut, Castiel heard him sing loudly, "At least not before I send it to myself first!"

"Shit," Castiel cursed before he chased after his brother.

Claire ran down the stairs, after hearing the loud noises from the living room. When she found her uncle and father wrestling on the floor, she tilted her head at them, "Daddy? Uncle Gabe? What are you doing?"

They both turned to her and Gabriel immediately stretched towards her with something in his hand, "Claire! Hurry, take this and send me that photo of Daddy and Dean!"

Claire took the phone, but hesitated looking at her father as he struggled underneath Gabriel. He told her breathless, "C-Claire, honey, give Daddy the phone."

Her eyes flickered between the two men before she sprinted back upstairs. She heard Gabriel laughing victoriously and her father groaning as she pressed "Send" at the top of the staircase.


	9. Be a good girl for me

"When can we go see the baby?" Claire asks for probably the seventh time since little Stevie was born two weeks ago.

"Claire," Dean chuckled as he flipped pancakes in the frying pan, "For the hundredth time, in a _couple weeks_. I've told you we have to let Charlie and Dorothy get more settled in before we go visit."

Claire pouted at the table, but didn't argue any further, continuing to read her book. Dean couldn't blame her. He wanted to go visit, too, but he knew the first month was the worst for new parents. Claire would just have to wait.

Dean was almost finished with cooking breakfast, when Castiel came through the door looking like a mess. Dean smirked at him, noticing his bed head and loosely buttoned shirt, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, sunshine?"

Castiel ran a hand over his face, stifling a yawn. He walked over to Dean and stole some bacon off a plate. He hurriedly explained as he poured coffee in his tumbler. "Raphael fu –" Castiel caught himself, glancing at Claire at the table, "_messed_ up his part of the casework. So, now I have to go in early and will probably end up staying late just trying to fix it all."

Dean cut up Claire's pancakes and set them in front of her, "Why are you the one that has to go and clean up his mess?"

Castiel sighed, "Someone's got to. I'm the one with the least amount of cases on the team, so Hester suggested I do it."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Hester sounds like a joy to work with."

"She's the team leader, what she says goes," Castiel shrugged, because there wasn't anything he do about it. At least not for this case, he'd be sure to repay Hester on the next case where he was team leader. They'd always had a slight competition at work. Castiel had already been team leader a few times and this was just Hester's first time.

Dean frowned, but nodded understanding, "So, you'll be home late?"

"I'd bet on it. It shouldn't be _too_ late, though," Castiel hugged Claire goodbye and kissed the top of her head. He gave Dean an apologetic look as he hovered in the doorway.

Dean smiled at him and waved his spatula, "Nah, man, don't worry about it. Stay as long as you need. I don't mind staying here a few extra hours."

Castiel's eyes turned soft and he smiled at Dean as he told him goodbye, leaving Dean feeling warm long after he's gone.

_**DIVIDER**_

"_"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?" "Yes," said Harry stiffly. "Yes, sir." "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor." The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying."_," Dean read aloud to Claire as she listened intently curled into his side. She giggled as Dean tried his best at a Snape impression. They were cuddled up in her bed instead of the usual couch, since Claire decided that the living room was too cold. But Dean didn't complain since Claire should be going to sleep soon anyways. It was nearing eleven o'clock already and Cas still hadn't come home yet. Dean would've been worried if Castiel hadn't told him he was going to be late.

But Claire's loveable laugh was cut off by a loud and abrupt crash coming from downstairs. Claire looked up at Dean with wide eyes and he put his finger to his lips to shush her. Dean had only seconds to consider that it could be Cas, but then his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out quickly not taking his eyes off the open door.

He glanced down at the screen and his heart stopped. It was Cas, "_Still haven't finished. Should be home in an hour. Tell Claire I said I love you and goodnight._"

Dean put his phone on silent and sat the thick Harry Potter book on the bed. Then, he pulled Claire into his arms and made eye contact with her telling her to stay silent as he got off the bed as quietly as possible. Making furtive glances towards the door, he carried Claire over to her closet. After he opened the door, he sat her down gently inside and gestured for her to crawl to the back. She looked terrified and clutched at his arms, but thankfully, eventually did as she was told.

Dean whispered, "Do _not_ move from this spot, Claire. No matter what you hear, _stay here_. Do not make a _sound_. Be a good girl for me. Can you do that?"

Claire nodded and Dean saw trails of tears run down her rosy cheeks. It broke his heart, but this was to protect her. He placed a kiss on her forehead and swiftly threw a few blankets over her. He closed the door as softly as he could and turned out all the lights in the room, before making his way downstairs.

The house was deadly silent now and Dean could feel the frigid air that Claire was talking about earlier as he crept slowly through the house. The crash had sounded like it had come from the kitchen. Someone breaking the glass on the back door to get inside. Dean didn't have anything to defend himself with. He knew Castiel had a dagger he was very fond of that was in his room, but it was back upstairs. _Past_ Claire's room. If there was someone inside the house, he didn't want to leave an open path back to Claire. No. He'd make sure that they'd have to go through him first.

Dean heart was pounding in his chest and he could hear his blood flowing through his ears. His skin was cold and clammy as he tried to avoid the squeaky floorboards, not wanting to alert the intruder. There were two doors into the kitchen and he decided to go through the one from the back hallway instead of the living room. The door creaked as he opened it and he cursed himself silently in his head. The room was empty though, save for the shattered glass in front of the open back door. The curtains swayed as the cool breeze escaped into the kitchen. The only source of light was the moon shining through the door and the window. Dean had guessed right, this was how they got in.

Dean did his best to avoid the shards of glass on the tiled floor as he reached for a knife on the counter. It was small, but it was all he had at the moment. Just as he almost grabbed it, there was a crunching sound under his boots. The glass had flown farther than he thought. The blue light of a flashlight immediately pointed into the room coming through the open door to the living room. Dean swiftly stepped out of the room and back into the hallway. He pressed his back against the wall next to the doorway.

He heard the crunching of the glass underneath careless shoes. Dean peered around the doorframe and saw a man leaning out the backdoor searching the yard. He was dressed in all black with a hoodie that seemed too large on him even though he was around Dean's size. Dean was more than confident that he could take him on, though.

He snuck up on the guy and wrapped both his arms around him in a chokehold. The man struggled clawing at Dean's arms and drove them both backwards into the opposite wall with a loud thud. In the back of Dean's mind, he hoped Claire somehow didn't hear it. The man continued to fight against Dean's hold and successfully broke away.

He took a few steps back and before Dean could come after him again, he pulled out a handgun from the back of his pants. He pointed it at Dean with shaky, but sure hands and Dean stopped in his tracks. The man's eyes were a light brown that seemed to reflect the light from the moon. His expression was determined, but even Dean could tell that he was scared. Now, looking at him more closely, the guy didn't even look that old, maybe late twenties.

Dean held up his hands and his eyes didn't leave the barrel of the gun staring him down, "Hey, hey, come on, man. Let's just calm down."

The man's face didn't waver and neither did his gun. Dean took a step closer and the gun aimed higher, pointed directly at his chest, "Step back!"

Dean didn't move, "Look, you came in here to steal some stuff and make some cash. I get it. Life is hard, especially if you have a family. You got a family?"

The guy squeezed his eyes shut and then, glared at Dean. He yelled, "Shut up!"

Dean took the opportunity to edge closer, "Breaking and entering? Okay, not that big of a jail sentence. But _murder_? Come on, dude. You don't want to go down for that. You don't want to kill me."

The man looked like his whole body was shaking now. He opened his mouth to reply, "I said shut-"

Dean kicked the gun out of the man's hands and it skidded across the kitchen floor. Dean dived for it, but the intruder was quick on his feet and shoved him back against the wall. He reached the gun first and fired carelessly in Dean's direction.

Dean managed to dodge the first two shots and tackled the man to the ground through the door to the living room. He straddled him and tried to pry the gun out of his hands, while the man continued to fire randomly. Dean felt a sharp hot pain in his side, but he unrelentingly fought for the gun. Dean directed the gun away from him, twisting the man's hands towards himself.

The intruder struggled under Dean's weight, attempting to push him off. In the process of his struggle and Dean fighting for the gun, he managed to shoot himself in the shoulder. The shock of the sudden pain, he cursed and released the gun.

Dean quickly grabbed it and struck the man's head, knocking him out. Dean climbed off of him, breathing heavily. He stared at the unconscious man and the gun felt hot in his hand. He dropped it and immediately felt that pain in his side again. It took his breath away and the edges of his vision began to blur. He tried to concentrate as he pulled his phone out. He had to call the police. He wouldn't be able to reach Claire like this.

He dialed the number and the operator answered, "Lawrence PD. State your emergency."

"Someone broke into…," Dean took a deep breath, feeling like he was about to pass out, "my house. I…knocked them out…but…"

"Sir?" the woman spoke urgently, "Sir, where are you? What is your name? Are you hurt? I'm tracing your call, but you need to stay on the line with me. Is there anyone else there with you?"

Dean felt his blinks becoming longer and he crawled to the back of the couch and leaned against it. The movement caused him to have a sharp intake of breath and his body was begging him to give in and just close his eyes. But he fought it and tried to answer the woman's questions, "2718 Grace Street. There's a… little girl hiding upstairs. Her name's… Claire. She's inside her closet, first room on… the left. She's probably really…scared."

"Okay, I have the police and the ambulance on their way. They should be there soon. But you got to stay with me. What's your name? Are you injured?"

"Dean. I was shot…in the side. I'm having trouble…staying awake," Dean began seeing dark spots and tried to focus on the woman's voice as she replied, but the phone had already slipped out of his hand crashing to the floor.

The last thing Dean remembered as the room turned black was how scared Claire must be since he never came back. He prayed to whoever was listening that she stayed put and didn't have to see the bodies.

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel glanced at his for probably the sixth time in the past thirty minutes. It was unusual for Dean to not have replied to him. _He wasn't upset that he had to end up staying so late, was he?_ No, this morning he had told Castiel not to worry about it. But then, why? Castiel shrugged it off, though, deciding Dean must have just fallen asleep.

He was almost finished with the finishing touches of the case, when Hester walked in. He sighed exasperated, "Hester, I'm almost done. You –"

Hester cut him off and ran over to his desk with a panicked expression, "No, Castiel! The police called. Your nanny – he, there was a break in at your house! And –"

Castiel stood up and felt his heart pounding in his ears, "What!? Claire –"

"She's perfectly fine," Hester quickly assured him, grabbing his coat for him from the chair and tossing it at him, "Just go! I'll finish up. They're at the hospital on Marcello Street."

Castiel rushed out of the office, but then something occurred to him and he turned back on Hester who was settling in at his computer, "Wait, you said Claire was fine. Is Dean…?"

Hester's face showed the most emotion he's ever seen her have, "They don't know if…"

Before she could finish, Castiel ran out of the office, feeling his heart beat pound against his chest.


	10. Dog without a bone

It only took Castiel approximately ten seconds to explain why he was at the emergency room, before the nurse was leading him to Claire's room. Claire was sobbing when they finally got there and a nurse was trying to soothe her. When she spotted her father coming towards her, her cries got even louder and her small hands reached out towards him.

"D-Daddy!" she sobbed, coughing from her quick and shallow breaths. He took her in her arms and tried to calm her down.

"Shh, it's alright, sweetheart. You're safe now," He whispered, swaying back and forth like he used to do when she was a newborn and she'd cry out in the middle of the night.

The nurse in the room, Castiel read that her nametag said Tessa, waited patiently for Claire to quiet down before speaking. After a few minutes of being cradled in Castiel's secure arms, Claire finally stopped heaving.

Tessa spoke in a soft voice, smiling at Claire, though she couldn't see her, "Claire's perfectly healthy. She just had a panic attack, which is normal considering the situation."

Castiel nodded, waiting for her to continue because it looked like there was more by her expression, "The deputy thought you'd want to know that she didn't _see anything_. From what Claire's told me she just heard the gunshots and –"

Castiel cut her off, his blood running cold, "Gunshots?"

Tessa frowned and looked down, "Yes, um,… you might want to talk to the deputy. He's talking with the doctor right now."

"Is –" Castiel started to ask her, but Claire's cry interrupted him.

"Daddy, D-Dean, they won't lemme see h-him. W-Where is h-he?" Claire leaned back and stared at him with a quivering lip, begging him to tell her he was alight. Though, it looked like she already knew.

Castiel turned back to the nurse and tried to ask her without too much panic in his voice, not wanting to scare Claire, "_Is_ he alright? Where is he?"

Tessa turned away from him, not wanting to answer, especially with Claire in the room, "I think you should go talk to the doctor and the deputy, sir. And I can finish Claire's checkup."

Castiel sighed, but understood, walking over to the uncomfortable hospital bed. Claire grasped at his coat, "N-No, don't go! D-don't leave me! Dean d-did and he didn't come back!"

Castiel's heart felt like someone was crushing it with their fist to see Claire like that, "Claire, honey, I'll be right back. I promise. And Dean is _fine_. Don't worry, okay?"

More tears ran down Claire's cheeks because she could tell something was wrong. She wasn't buying it. But she nodded and let go of his coat. Castiel had never been more thankful that she was such an obedient child. He nodded at the nurse and walked out of the room, rounding the corner looking for the familiar uniform of the Lawrence police.

When he finally spotted him, the deputy was still talking with the doctor. Castiel walked over to them, but they stopped talking once he reached them. Deputy Henriksen raised an eyebrow at him questionably, "Mr. Novak?"

Castiel nodded and immediately asked, "Yes. How's Dean? He wasn't shot was he?"

The deputy put a hand on Castiel's shoulder and met his eyes, "Yes, but he's stable at the moment. He was shot on his left side." Castiel's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. He felt dizzy and like he couldn't breath. Henriksen's hand was the only thing stopping him from collapsing.

"Mr. Novak, you need to stay with me, alright? He's in surgery right now. The doc thinks there's a good chance he's going to make it," the deputy assured him and gestured to the doctor who nodded his head in confirmation. But it didn't stop the twisting and knotting in Castiel's gut and his heart pounding sharply against his chest.

Castiel let out a deep breath, repeating _He's going to make it_ over and over in his head like a mantra. The doctor spoke up then, "He got really lucky. The bullet barely missed his liver. It should be an easy operation."

Castiel nodded numbly and something occurred to him, "I need to call his brother."

Henriksen shook his head and waved his hand, "Already taken care of. Sam's boarding the next flight out."

Castiel sighed in relief, not wanting to have to be the one to make that call, "Thank you. I really appreciate all that you're done."

The deputy smiled, "Don't worry about it. The Winchesters are really good friends with the sheriff. She made sure he was taken care of as soon as she heard. Best treatment possible."

"What exactly happened?" Castiel finally asked, though he'd like to just pretend it never happened. He didn't think hearing the story was going to make him feel any better.

Henriksen scratched the back of his head, "Well, we don't know _exactly_ what happened. But from Dean's 911 call and what Claire's managed to tell us, we understand that the intruder broke into the house causing a loud crash. So, having heard it, Dean hid Claire in her closet and after finding the man, got in a brawl with him. Dean succeeded in shooting him in the shoulder and knocking the guy out, but got shot in his side. Before he passed out, he managed to call 911, telling them where Claire was hiding and what had happened. He was unconscious by the time the paramedics arrived to the scene."

"What happened to the guy that did this?" Castiel demanded, a hateful part of him hoping the man bled to death. Another part of him felt horrible for thinking it, but with the words _chance_ and _lucky to survive_ being thrown around, Castiel couldn't bring it in himself to feel guilty. _He_ did this to Dean. Almost _killed_ him. He deserved whatever happened to him.

The deputy frowned, "The shot to his shoulder hit a large artery and he lost a lot of blood. We won't know if he'll pull through till the morning."

Satisfied that the man didn't get out unscathed, Castiel turned to the doctor, "When will Dean be out of surgery?"

The doctor glanced at his watch, "Probably a few more hours. I know the waiting room isn't ideal, but you can wait there and I'll come tell you as soon as he's out. I can't promise you'll be able to see him, but I'll let you know how it went."

Castiel nodded solemnly, knowing the hospital's strict rules for visitors. Castiel wasn't family so he wouldn't be allowed to stay after visiting hours. He was pretty sure he shouldn't even have access to Dean's state at all, but he guessed the deputy must have pulled a few strings. He wasn't going to argue, though. He was thankful they were telling him anything at all.

He walked back to Claire's room to check her out. She at least had calmed down now. Besides the sniffling, she seemed fine. Though, Castiel doubted she was anywhere close to _fine_.

"Hey, ClaireBear," he sat on the bed next to her and wrapped an arm around her tiny shoulders, "Dean's still seeing the doctor. But the doc said he's going to be alright. You'll probably be able to see him tomorrow. If not then, the next day." Castiel spoke in a comforting voice, hoping he wasn't outright lying to her.

Claire looked up at him with tear stained cheeks and red eyes, "Why not tonight?"

"He needs to be with the doctors tonight, so they can make sure he's really okay before he goes back home."

Claire was quiet for a moment, before she nodded staring at her shoes. She didn't say anything else and Castiel had never seen her so upset before. He hated it. He prayed this wasn't going to traumatize her and that she was just still in shock.

Tessa handed him a clipboard to sign and pay the doctor's bill. He dug out his insurance card from his wallet and gave it back to her. She smiled and said she'd be right back. Castiel tried to not look as torn up as he was, to not worry Claire, but he didn't know how much longer he was going to last. They hadn't even said it was a sure thing. That there would be _no_ complications. That Dean would be the same after. What if something went wrong? What if Dean - _No_. Castiel forced his thoughts to stop considering the worst case scenarios._Dean will be okay._

Castiel did all he could think of and pulled out his phone to text Gabriel. He knew it was late, but he hoped his brother answered. Just a few minutes after he sent the message explaining what had happened, Gabriel replied that he and Kali would be there as soon as possible.

**_DIVIDER_**

After two more excruciating hours, Gabriel and Kali finally arrived. They looked just as about how Castiel expected them to. Gabriel had plaid pajama pants on and a grey tee accompanied with bunny slippers. Kali didn't look much different, with her pregnant stomach jutting out from under her top.

"Any news?" Gabriel asked as soon as he reached them in a quiet voice, seeing Claire curled up in her father's lap sound asleep.

Castiel shook his head and Kali could just see how much this was affecting him. His face was pale and black bags under his eyes had seemed to appear from sheer worry. Having to keep Claire calm all the while he was panicking inside was tearing him apart. She asked, "Have the police said it's okay to go back to your house?"

Castiel nodded, remembering Henriksen saying something similar to him before the leaving to return to the station, "I think so, but I don't want to leave until I know the surgery was a success."

Kali rolled her eyes affectionately, "I know that, Cassie. I'm not blind. I was just going to offer to take Claire home, so she can sleep comfortably in her bed. Gabriel can keep you company here and I'll watch over Claire."

Castiel felt a weight leave his shoulders and he smiled at her gratefully, "Thank you, Kali."

"That's what family's for," she shrugged and kissed him on the cheek, before taking Claire gently into her arms without jostling her awake.

Gabriel pecked her on the lips goodbye and she left the room with the sound of her slippers hitting the tiled floor. Gabriel sat down next to Castiel, grimacing at the chair like it had personally offended him as he tried to get comfortable in it. He didn't say anything for a while and they just sat there in silence. But at some point, he eventually turned to his little brother and spoke in serious tone but it was the softest Castiel had ever heard him have, "He's going to make it."

Castiel didn't meet his brother's eyes, "You can't promise that."

"I wasn't promising anything. But I have _faith_ he's going to be just fine."

Castiel looked over at him then and tilted his head, "Since when do you have _faith_ in anything?"

"Since, I met Dean," Gabriel's head gestured to the double doors beyond which Dean was being operated on, "Since I saw how you two are around each other."

Castiel didn't reply and Gabriel continued, "Dean's good for you and Claire. He takes care of you. _Both_ of you. And do you know how much Claire talks about him? She couldn't shut up when I watched her about how _awesome_ he was." Gabriel chuckled, "He has a little too much influence on her if you ask me."

Castiel smiled, thinking about all the mannerisms Claire has picked up from Dean.

"_Then_, she told me how much more Daddy smiles now. How much more Daddy laughs. How he's not _lonely_ anymore," Gabriel finished seriously, raising his eyebrows at Castiel.

"How exactly is this all supposed to comfort me?" Castiel turned his head and asked, changing the subject.

Gabriel leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "All I'm saying is, if there is a God, he wouldn't take Dean Winchester away from you. You don't deserve it."

"That's all you've got? He won't die, because I don't deserve to lose him?" Castiel raised his eyebrows at his brother.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Yeah. God could never be so cruel."

Castiel didn't know why, but he continued to argue, "Yeah? And what if there is no God?"

Gabriel gestured to the double doors and met Castiel's eyes, "Then, he's in good hands, Castiel. That surgeon went to med school. He knows what he's doing."

Castiel sighed and nodded, trying to listen to Gabriel's reasoning. He knew he was right. The doctor himself had said there was a very good chance the surgery would be successful. But that word kept bouncing around in Castiel's head and it drove him insane. _Chance_. He kept latching on to it, hearing it ring again and again in his ears. The worry was eating him alive and Castiel had never felt so tormented before. He hadn't realized how much he cared for Dean until the chance of losing him was staring him right in the face. And he wasn't even his to lose.

"He got hurt protecting Claire, you know," Castiel said, but it was barely audible and he leaned forward on his knees staring at the bleached floors.

Gabriel copied him, "I know. He's a good guy."

Castiel leaned back on his chair, his head hitting the wall and he stared up at the ceiling. There were dots on the tiles and it reminded him of Dean's freckles. He tried closing his eyes, but there was just a warm smile and green eyes waiting for him behind his lids.

He looked over to the clock and it ticked so slowly and loudly. The only sound in the room, besides the coughing little boy a few feet from them. Dean's face kept popping up into Castiel's head; his laugh, his eyes, his voice. Him singing in the kitchen along to the small radio and swaying his hips slightly to the beat. The way he looked at Castiel like he was trying to tell him something he couldn't say in words. Castiel didn't want to think about how it'd feel to never know what those words were. To not have any memories of Dean past today.

Castiel ran his fingers through his hair frustrated, begging for his thoughts to stop. They only grew darker and less hopeful by the minute. He'd never felt so on edge before. The anxiety was killing him and all he could do was wait. Sit and wait. Not able to do anything to help. It was driving him insane. _Waiting_, just _waiting_, not knowing if Dean was going to make it or not. His patience was wearing thin and he felt the sudden urge to break something. Throw a glass vase at the wall. Anything. Just to relieve the tension.

"Have you ate anything today? You must be starving," Gabriel asked him, resting a hand on his shoulder, "I'll go get you something if you want?"

Castiel shook his head, "I don't think I could stomach anything to be honest."

Gabriel nodded understanding, "What about some coffee, at least? They're not going to be finished anytime soon and it's nearing two in the morning."

"Okay, yeah, coffee sounds good. Thank you, Gabe," Castiel tried to give his brother a smile, but he didn't think it looked convincing, considering Gabriel's frown.

He patted him on the back as he stood up, "I'll be right back."

Castiel watched him walk away. His bunny slippers looking so ridiculous in the serious atmosphere that Castiel almost laughed.

_**DIVIDER**_

"Dean?" Claire woke up with a start and looked around her room for a sign of him. She looked at her clock and it said it was two in the morning. She climbed out of her bed and ran down the hall to her father's room. But it was empty. Her heart rate picked up and she tumbled down the stairs, hearing the soft mumble from the TV, thinking she'd find him snoring with a bowl of popcorn. But when she bounded into the room, she found Aunt Kali lounging on the couch instead.

Kali sat up surprised when she saw Claire, "Claire, honey, what are you doing up?"

_No_. It wasn't _real_. It was just a stupid dream, a nightmare. It did _not_ happen. "Where's Dean, Aunt Kali? And why are you here?"

Kali frowned at her and scrunched her eyebrows together, "Claire,…don't you remember?"

Tears streamed down Claire's face, but she shook her head in denial, "No, I don't! It's not true! It was just a dream!"

Kali got up from the couch and crouched in front of Claire, running her hands up and down her arms soothingly, "Claire, I'm sorry. But Dean's gonna be okay, sweetie. Don't worry about it, alright? It's okay. He's okay."

Claire fell into her arms and clutched at her tightly as Kali shushed her. "I thought that maybe it had just been a nightmare," Claire spoke into Kali's dark hair, "And that Dean would be there when I woke up."

Kali patted her back, "I know, ClaireBear. The doctors are watching over him, though."

Claire leaned back, "Where's Daddy?"

"He's at the hospital with Uncle Gabe."

Claire knew better than to ask Kali to take her back up there, so she asked instead, "Can you come sleep with me? I don't wanna be alone."

Her aunt smiled sweetly at her, "Of course."

After Kali turned off the TV, she went upstairs with Claire back to her room and climbed into bed with her, pulling her close. Kali thought Claire had drifted back to sleep, but a few minutes passed and she spoke quietly, "Dean won't die, will he?"

"The doctor said he was going to be just fine," Kali answered, hoping for Claire's sake that she didn't turn out to be a liar.

"Daddy would be really sad if he did," Claire mumbled and it broke Kali's heart. Before she could assure her, Claire added, "I would be, too. Dean's a part of the family. He's my best friend. I don't want him to leave."

Kali blinked away a couple tears of her own and replied, "Dean's gonna pull through, munchkin. He won't leave his family like that. You said he was strong, right? He's tough enough to get through this."

Claire nodded with a smile and nuzzled back into Kali. Only a few minutes passed, before she fell back asleep.

_**DIVIDER**_

"Gabriel," Castiel spoke, thirty minutes after his brother got back with their coffees, "I think I'm going insane."

Gabriel chuckled, "Castiel, he's in surgery. Surgeries take long. It'll all be over soon. I promise."

"It's not," Castiel started and didn't know if he wanted to finish. But if he didn't talk to someone about it, he felt he was going to combust. "It's not the waiting. Well, it is. But it's…also more than that. I feel sick. My heart's skipping beats and being slow and then speeding up again. I feel like someone's wringing out my stomach like a damp rag and like a car's sitting on my chest."

Gabriel waited patiently as Castiel took a deep breath, "I can't handle it."

Gabriel leaned in towards him and wrapped his arm around his little brother's shoulders, "Hey, he's going to be alright, okay? Just believe that. Just calm down and repeat that over and over until you believe that."

"I can't get him out of my head," Castiel admitted hopeless, feeling entrapped in a spell he can't escape.

Gabriel leaned back into his chair and shrugged, "Well, that's normal. You're worried about the guy. Of course he's on your mind."

Castiel shook his head, "No, that's not it. I can _never_ get him out of my head, Gabe. Not just today. Before today. Before any of this ever happened. He was always there. If not at the front of my mind, at the back. His voice lulling me to sleep. I see green in a friend's eyes and think it's the _wrong_ shade. I get distracted at work just remembering the sound of his laugh. If he's not working, I wonder what he's doing. I almost call him a dozen times a day just to hear his voice. I can't think straight when I'm around him."

The rush of words flowed out of his mouth before he could even process them. Castiel let out a deep breath and leaned back against his chair. He looked at Gabriel, saying the words without even hesitating, "I think I'm in love with him."

Gabriel stared at him absorbing everything Castiel had just poured out of his heart, then started laughing. It started with just a chuckle and quickly turned into Gabriel wheezing from laughter in his chair. He saw Castiel glaring at him and held up his hands, "I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry! It's just," he spoke between chuckles, "You look so _scared_!"

Castiel rolled his eyes at him, turning back in his seat, regretting saying anything to his idiot of a brother. After Gabriel calmed down, he tugged at Castiel's arm, "Cassie, come on. I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. Your terrified face just reminded me of when I first met Kali."

Castiel shook his head, "Whatever, you're just saying that to cover your ass for laughing at me."

"No, really, I'm not." Gabriel sighed when Castiel wouldn't look at him, "Look, remember when I first met Kali? And how she despised me?"

Castiel nodded, glancing at his brother wondering where he was going with this. Gabriel continued, "Yeah, but I didn't give up on her, right? I kept thinking about her all the time. When I was with another girl, I just wished I was with her instead. I saw her everywhere I went. She drove me insane I'd never felt about anyone like that. I just had to have her. We were destined for each other."

Castiel scoffed and Gabriel narrowed his eyes, "Hey, I married her, didn't I? I got the girl. So, shut your cake hole. I can spout as much _gooey mushy_ stuff as I want. _Anyways_, I did everything I could to win her over. I thought I'd die if I couldn't. I was madly in love with her. Like a dog without a bone, comprendo?"

"Yes, I _comprendo_, Gabe," Castiel rolled his eyes, "As much as I love hearing your undying devotion for Kali, what's your point?"

Gabriel pointed at the double doors and back at Castiel, "Dean is your bone, bro."

"My bone?" Castiel repeated dumbly.

Gabriel nodded seriously and relaxed back into his chair. Castiel chuckled softly. _Dog without a bone, huh?_ Gabriel was ridiculous a majority of the time, but he had a habit of surprising Castiel with actually sound advice. Like Claire liked to say, _He had a way with words_. What was Gabriel getting at, though? That the way Castiel was feeling was how Gabriel and Kali's whole relationship began? Castiel having what Gabriel and Kali have with Dean sounded amazing. But it was the farthest thing in Castiel's mind. It just wasn't possible. Of course, Castiel felt strongly for Dean. He could see that now. But Dean feeling the same way…it just wasn't going to happen. Castiel put his faith in the doctors, but he couldn't agree with what Gabriel had said earlier. He didn't deserve Dean Winchester.

Gabriel chuckled, "_Can't think straight when he's around_. Yeah, that seems pretty obvious, Cassie. Your thoughts are anything _but_ straight."

He was welcomed with a hard shove that almost made him spill his coffee. But he thought the joke was worth it.


	11. Glitch

_Music was playing throughout the house, not too loud and not too soft. And it was the kind Dean liked. He smiled as Jimmy Page nailed a guitar rift. The house was filled with warmth as his family moved around him talking with each other and laughing loudly. Everyone Dean cared about seemed to be there; Sam, Jess, Bobby, Jody, Charlie, Dorothy, the Harvelles and the Novaks._

_Dean excused himself from one of Gabriel's one-of-a-kind stories to check on Cas in the kitchen. He was swaying to the music as he cut random vegetables and threw them into the large steel pot on the stove. Seeing the man hum softly as he contentedly prepared everyone's dinner made Dean's heart beat fondly and his head go fuzzy. He walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist._

_Castiel turned to him, but didn't move away, smiling at him like it was the most normal thing in the world. Dean gestured to the stove, "So, what're you cooking for everyone, anyway?"_

_Castiel went back to chopping up a peeled potato, "Stew. Since, it's been so cold lately, I thought everyone would enjoy it."_

_Dean nodded, looking out the window, just now noticing it was snowing. He chuckled and looked back at Cas, "You know how to make stew? I don't remember showing you how."_

_Castiel rolled his eyes, "I did know how to cook before you came around Dean."_

_Dean smirked, "Yeah, alright. I'm sure you did."_

_Cas bit his lip, thoughtfully, and sighed, "Okay, I got the recipe from your mother's cookbook."_

_Dean's eyebrows pulled together, "What cookbook?"_

_Castiel jerked his head toward the kitchen table and Dean let go of him to stroll over to the thick book resting on top of it. He picked it up, a dozen memories replaying in his head. He laughed softly, turning back to Cas, "Where'd you even find this?"_

_"I was trying to find a photo album that had Claire's baby pictures in it in our closet. That closet has so much clutter in it with all our stuff mixed together. I didn't mean to find it. I wasn't purposely looking through your stuff," Castiel met Dean's eyes guilty._

_But Dean smiled, walking back over to him, "Nah, don't worry about it. My stuff is your stuff, too. You can look through whatever you want."_

_Castiel leaned into kiss him, but before he could, Sam walked into the room looking worried, "Hey, guys, - oh sorry, for interrupting, but uh, Claire's crying for you, Dean. I tried to calm her down, but she won't even tell me what's wrong."_

_Dean nodded and left to follow his brother back to the living room, but his hand lingered on Cas's arm; a silent promise he'd be back. He found Claire silently crying on the couch as Jess tried to comfort her, but she didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Once, Dean got there, Jess kissed Claire's forehead and smiled at him, before going to go find Sam._

_Dean wrapped his arm around Claire and looked down at her, "Hey, what's wrong, pumpkin? Sam said you wanted me."_

_Claire's eyes flashed up towards him and she looked terrified. Her tiny hands grasped Dean's shirt, "Dean, something's wrong!"_

_He looked at her confused, "What do you mean? Are you feeling sick?"_

_She shook her head animatedly, "No! It's not me. Dean, something's really wrong!"_

_"Claire, I don't know what you mean. Why are you crying? Did someone hurt your feelings?"_

_She jerked on his shirt and raised her voice, "No! Dean, you don't understand! Something's wrong! You shouldn't be here!"_

_Dean grew even more confused and felt a sharp pain in his chest at her words, "I shouldn't be here? Do you…not want me here, anymore?"_

_She groaned and threw her head back, "Not like that! Dean, you're in danger! You have to leave!"_

_Dean searched the room, but only saw his friends and family. He turned back to Claire, but she had disappeared, "Claire?" He looked around, but she was nowhere in sight. He stood up and grabbed the nearest person. It happened to be Jo, "Hey, did you see where Claire went?"_

_She shook her head, "No, wasn't she in the kitchen with Cas?"_

_"No," Dean looked at her like she was crazy and gestured to the empty couch, "She was just here."_

_"I didn't see her, man. Check the kitchen, though," Jo offered and walked away from him._

_Before he could go to the kitchen, though he doubted she was there, Ellen walked over and grabbed his shoulder, "Something wrong?"_

_He shrugged, still looking around the room for the small blonde, "I don't know. Claire was saying some stuff about me being in danger and she was crying. But I had no idea what she was talking about. And now I don't know where's she's run off to."_

_Ellen waved her hand, "Ah, don't worry about it. Kids sometimes get scared for no reason. Their imagination gets to them. I'm sure there's nothing wrong."_

_"Yeah, probably. But I'm gonna look for her," Dean stepped away from her and went towards the kitchen._

_Claire wasn't in there and neither was Cas. Jody and Bobby were, though, riffling through the fridge for something to mull them over until supper was ready._

_Jody noticed him walk in and perked up, "Oh, hey, there, Dean. You know I've barely seen you all night? Why don't you tell me some of your wild nanny stories?"_

_Dean chuckled, "Later, Jody. I'm look for Claire. Did you happen to see her? She was really upset earlier."_

_"No, can't say I have," but waved her hand the same way Ellen had, "She's probably fine now, though. Maybe she just needed to be alone."_

_Dean narrowed his eyes at her, taken aback that she wasn't even slightly worried about Claire, "No, she was really upset, Jody. She was crying for me, so it obviously had something to do with me."_

_Jody sighed, "Well, alright."_

_Dean walked back out of the kitchen and headed for the stairs. He had this odd feeling, thinking about how weird Jody had acted and Ellen, too. Usually they would be more worried about Claire. The little girl was hardly ever upset about anything, always smiling and laughing. It was strange for her to be so upset and scared. Before he reached the stairs, Sam pulled on him, "Hey, man, where you going? The party's down here."_

_Dean was starting to get a little annoyed that everyone seemed to want to distract him from Claire. "Looking for Claire. You seen her?"_

_Sam shook his head, "No, is this about earlier?"_

_Dean nodded, "Yeah, man, she seemed really scared about something. But she wouldn't tell me exactly what it was."_

_Sam shrugged, "Maybe it was just because there's so many people here. She probably got overwhelmed and went somewhere more secluded."_

_Dean frowned at him, surprised his brother was blowing off Claire like the others had, "You're not worried about her? Earlier you came into the kitchen like she had fallen down the stairs and broke her leg."_

_Sam gave him a bitchface, "I did not look like that. It's just she was crying for you, she didn't want anyone else. Dean, don't worry so much. She's probably already over it and playing in the snow right now."_

_Dean rolled his eyes at him and shoved past him back to the kitchen to go outside. He was not being overly dramatic or anything. There was something seriously_ wrong _with Claire. He had never seen her like that before. Well, he felt like he had, but he couldn't recall the memory no matter how hard he tried._

_Walking through the kitchen, he noticed Jody and Bobby had left and Castiel still wasn't back. The stew was over boiling, though, the foam spilling down the sides, so Dean went over to it and turned down the burner. Why did Cas just leave it like that? Before he could step towards the backdoor, Claire ran into the room and tugged at his jeans, "Dean, you have to go!_ Now_!"_

_He looked down at her surprised, "Claire, I've been looking for you! Where have you been?"_

_"Dean!" She continued to yell and pull at him, grabbing his hand, "Come on! You have to go! Before it's too late!"_

_He let her lead him to the backyard, "Honey, what're you talking about? Go where? Before what's too late?"_

_She didn't answer his questions, as they trudged through the snow that was almost half as tall as Claire. Dean frowned, "Claire, if you want to come outside, it's okay. But you need to go grab your coat and boots –"_

_Dean cut off with the look Claire gave him full of worry. She dropped his hand and looked to the back gate. Dean followed her line of sight, expecting to see the wooden gate closed and locked like it usually was, but saw a tall man standing there in a dark coat watching them. Dean immediately pushed Claire behind him and stood up straighter. He yelled at the guy threateningly, "Hey, who are you!?"_

_The man met his eyes and Dean felt a chill run down his spine and he felt paralyzed. The man was older, much older, with wrinkles settling in on his face and his brown hair slicked back. He was dressed in a black suit and had a cane with a silver skull on top. He stepped forward more into the yard and as he inched closer to Dean. The path he walked was clear as if the snow melted before his feet reached the ground. Dean felt terrified of him, but he had no reason, just a gut feeling. But he felt Claire clutching at his leg behind him and he swallowed down his fear._

_"I said who are you!? And what are you doing in my yard!?" Dean repeated, glaring at the man, but he had no doubt the man could hear the terror in his voice._

_Claire grabbed his hand again and started to drag him back towards the house, "Dean, don't talk to him! Let's go the other way!"_

_Dean would've gave her a confused expression if he could tear his eyes away from the man who was now only a few feet in front of him. He replied back softly, "Claire, go into the house."_

_He could hear her begin to cry, "No! Come with me! You have to! Don't go with him!"_

_Before she could scream another word, the man snapped his fingers and the yard became silent. Dean felt the absence of Claire's hand in his. He looked down and she had disappeared into thin air. His heart stopped and he turned back to the stranger accusingly, "Hey, what'd you do to her!?"_

_The man replied quietly, casually dusting off the fallen snow on his coat with the tips of his fingers, "Calm down, Dean, and stop yelling like a child. She wasn't even real."_

_Dean's mouth dropped slightly as his eyebrows scrunched together, "What?"_

_The man rolled his eyes, annoyed and gave Dean a glare that reminded him of an exasperated teacher. He gestured to the yard around them and the house behind Dean, "_ This _is all in your head, Dean. None of this is real."_

_Dean scoffed, "Yeah, okay. You're crazy and I'm calling the police." He turned back to the house to fulfill his threat when the man spoke in an ominous tone, "Don't you remember, Dean?"_

_Dean stopped in his tracks, feeling the cold lick at his skin, and looked over his shoulder, "Remember what?"_

_"You died, Dean," The man spoke in a bored tone._

_Dean faced him, feeling his heart race and his head throb, "I – what?"_

_"Well, you haven't died, yet. But it's only a matter of time if you don't decide."_

_Dean took a step towards him, "Decide?"_

_The man nodded, "You can stay here if you like. It's akin to your Heaven and you'll move on to there eventually."_

_Dean had a million questions on the tip of his tongue, "Wha – How did I even die?" He shook his head, closing his eyes, "No, no, you're crazy. Like I'd believe I was in_ Heaven _."_

_The man raised his eyebrows, "Don't believe me?" Then, he snapped his fingers again and they suddenly weren't in Lawrence anymore, but in a clearing in the middle of a forest. The cold had disappeared with it and Dean felt hot in his many layers. He looked around shocked and back to the man._

_"Who are you?" Dean repeated, becoming more cautious by the second. _Was he dreaming? Was this really all in his head?

_"You can call me Death," the man replied, "And this is not a dream. I told you, you're dying."_

_Finally, Dean gave in and believed him, because it wasn't like he was going to come up with a better explanation on his own. He asked, "Okay, so how did I die?"_

_"Think about it, Dean, think and you'll remember."_

_In an instant, memories flooded Dean's head and it all came back to him vividly fast. The burglar. Claire. And then, he was shot…_

_Dean looked back at Death, "So, am I dead or not?"_

_Death sighed like he was getting annoyed with Dean's slowness, "That's for you to decide. You can continue on to Heaven or you can go back to your life." He snapped his fingers and they were back at the Novaks. Dean looked over his shoulder and could see his family laughing through the window. Death noticed, "You seem happy here."_

_Dean turned back to him, feeling a sense of longing he couldn't place, "But…it's not real."_

_Death nodded, "That's true, but they're just like your real family. In Heaven, you won't have glitches like Claire. You could also, probably meet your loved ones who are already there."_

_Mary Winchester's golden hair and warm smile flashed through his mind and it was so tempting. But something bothered him about what Death had said, "Wait, what do you mean Claire was a glitch?"_

_"This," Death glanced around the yard, "Is all in your head like I said. And Claire was the part of you that wanted to live. It was why she was warning you to not go with me."_

_That seemed to decide it for him, if there was any debate about it at all. Dean thought of Claire, the real Claire, probably crying in Cas's arms because Dean was lying in a hospital bed somewhere. He loved that little girl, he couldn't just leave her like that. And how would this all affect Cas? Dean was pretty sure he was in love with the guy and even though his feelings probably weren't reciprocated, they were still good friends. And Cas would have to find a new nanny and Claire wasn't going to be on board with that. It would just add to the weight on Cas's shoulders. And Dean didn't want that, if anything he'd always wanted to ease it, not add to it._

_Then, there was Sam. Dean was all Sam had left of family (John had stopped being even considered a long time ago), not counting Bobby. Dean had practically raised his little brother, so they had always been really close. He didn't want to think about what it would do to Sam if he died. He couldn't do that to Sam. There was an unspoken promise to always be there for each other, and he couldn't break that. Sam had dealt with a lot of shit all his life, he had a strong heart. He'd get over it eventually. But Dean still didn't want to put him through it._

_"No," Dean answered with a sure and strong tone, "I don't want to die. I've got people waiting for me to come home."_

_Death took a moment before asking, "And you're sure of this? Next time, I won't give you the choice."_

_Dean nodded, hoping the_ next time _wouldn't be for a_ long _time. The world around them became deadly silent as Death taped his cane against the ground. Then, before Dean could even blink, everything went black._

**_DIVIDER_**

Sam barreled into the waiting area in a panic and instantly ran up to the nurse's desk, "Excuse me, my brother –"

Castiel must have saw him, because he cut him off walking over to him, "Sam."

Sam turned to him with a small sigh of relief, but Castiel could still see the immense worry in his eyes, "Cas! Hey, how's Dean? Is he okay? All they told me is he was shot and was headed in for surgery."

Castiel glanced at the double doors a few feet from them, "Yes, he's still in surgery, but the doctor told me he was confident it would be an easy operation."

Sam nodded and the worry started to leave his eyes little by little. Before he could say anything more, a small blonde woman ran into the room looking breathless, "Sam! Thank God, I never thought I'd catch up to you and I'd be doomed to search this whole building looking for you."

Sam looked sheepishly at her and ran his fingers through his hair, "Sorry, I just –"

She walked over to him, shaking her head and wrapped an arm around his waist, hugging him, "I know, it's okay."

Then, she noticed Castiel and grinned, "You must be Castiel." She looked up at Sam and said in a low voice, but Castiel still heard her, "Dean was right, his eyes are bluer than the damn _sky_."

Sam chuckled and Castiel felt his neck warm slightly, "Yes, I am. I'm Dean's boss. Jess, I presume?"

She nodded with a coy smile and raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, "Boss, huh?"

Sam elbowed her and she giggled in response, "Sorry, I just – the stories I heard it was hard to believe you were just a _boss_."

Castiel wouldn't be surprised if someone told him he was turning red. He smiled bashfully, "Well, despite what you've been told, Dean and I are just friends."

Jess held back a smile, but nodded, not arguing further. She turned to Sam, something occurring to her, "Wait, is Dean out yet?"

Sam shook his head, his smile fading, "No, he's still in there. He should be out soon, though." Sam glanced at Castiel for confirmation and he nodded slightly.

Jess tried to keep her grin and she gripped Sam's arm, "Well, hey, that's good, right?" She led him over to the waiting chairs near Gabriel who was entertaining himself with a magazine. Castiel followed them and Gabriel, just noticing them, stood up.

Castiel introduced him, "Sam, Jess, this is my brother Gabriel. Gabe this is Dean's brother, Sam and his girlfriend, Jess."

Gabriel shook their hands, but before he could say much more, his phone started playing _The Heat of the Moment_. He stepped away and pulled the phone up to his ear. As he walked away he smiled apologetically at the nurse who was glaring at him. Castiel heard him say in a loving voice, "Good morning, beautiful," as he left the room.

As Sam, Jess, and Castiel settled in to the uncomfortable hospital chairs, a nurse comes through the threatening double doors. She walked over to them with a wide grin as she pulled tight gloves off of her hands, "Castiel Novak?"

He stood up immediately and Sam followed suit, "Yes, that's me."

"The doctor sent me, thought you should be the first to know. Dean's out of surgery. It went well without any complications. All his vitals are good. He should recover easily," She told him, her eyes glancing at Sam and Jess.

All three of them let out a relieved sigh simultaneously. Sam spoke up first, "Can we see him?"

Her hair was a mess and falling out of her ponytail. She let it fall and began running her fingers through it as she replied, "He's still knocked out from the anesthesia, but he should wake up in a couple hours if not sooner. After he's set up in his room, you're welcome to wait for him there."

"Alright, please let us know when we can go back there," Sam gave her a thankful smile.

She nodded, pulling her hair back up, "Will do," and walked back through the doors she came from.

They collapsed back into their chairs in silence and Castiel could practically see the dark cloud that had been fogging his mind thin away. The tension in the air eased away with it. The weight that had been getting comfortable on Castiel's chest shrinked, but didn't go away completely. He was relieved of course, but he still felt strange like he still wasn't all there. It was an unsettling feeling and he hoped it went away soon.

Gabriel walked back into the room and could tell from their faces. He raised his eyebrows, "Good news?"

"Dean's out of surgery. He's going to be okay. He's still unconscious, though," Castiel answered with a tired smile.

Gabriel grinned and looked at Sam and Jess, "Well, you two must be good luck charms or something. You have the best timing."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah, I guess we do."


	12. So, please, humor me?

Dean could hear the muffled voices in the room trying to break through his conscience. His head was foggy and he could barely make the words out, let alone who they belonged to. He tried to open his eyes, but he felt numb as his body fought him about waking up.

"It's been almost three hours! When is he going to wake up?"

That voice, he was pretty sure, was Claire. It seemed like just moments ago that he was hearing her frantic yells. She sounded so upset and troubled, just like he'd imagined she'd be. He wanted to reach out for her and comfort her, but his senses were still murky and he felt dizzy just lying there, not even moving.

"Soon, Claire, the doctor said it was just a matter of time," someone soothed her and it only took Dean a moment to place it. _Sam?_ What was he doing here? Oh right, Dean had almost died. Of course, he would've been called. But if he had already flown here from California, then how long had it been since last night? Wait, was it even last night anymore?

"Claire, you need to be patient." That voice belonged to Cas. He knew it instantly. Dean felt like he could pick out the rough deep voice he'd grown so fond of in large theatre. His heart thumped off beat from just hearing Castiel, even lying in a hospital bed. "Dean's perfectly healthy. It's normal for him to still be sleeping."

Dean heard Claire let out a frustrated huff and he almost smiled at her impatience. He felt awkward hearing them talking about him like he wasn't in the room, so he tried to open his eyes. At first, everything was blurry and he had an immediate migraine like he had tried to wear someone else's glasses. Then, after a couple of minutes, the dots on the white ceiling came more into focus and the pounding in his head lessened. After he forced the feeling back into his fingers and could move them, he tried sitting up using his elbow to lean on. He rubbed at his eyes as he spoke groggily, "Are you guys just going to keep talking about me like I'm not here?"

"Dean!" Claire's chipper voice rang out first in the small room. But before he could even look at her, Sam's arms were wrapped around him.

"You scared the hell out of me, man," Sam's voice came out shaky and Dean felt guilty for making him worry so badly.

He held him tightly, patting his back, "Sorry, Sammy, but I did warn you that being a nanny was a dangerous job."

When Sam pulled back, he gave him a bitchface, "Yeah, I didn't think you meant _this_."

Before Dean could reply with a witty remark, he heard footsteps to his left. He looked over and saw Claire standing there staring at him with tears silently flowing down her cheeks. The shock of what happened seemed to have caught up with her and the excitement from seeing him awake died down. His heart squeezed painfully at the sight and he stretched his arms out toward her, "Oh, come here, Claire."

He lifted her into his arms, vaguely aware of Cas's protest in the distance. Claire's small hands fisted into his shirt as she buried her face in his chest, "Dean, I was so scared. You didn't come back."

"I know," he shushed her, "I'm sorry, ClaireBear. But it's okay now. You're okay. I'm okay."

After a couple minutes, she calmed down and her hold on him became looser. A woman Dean hadn't seen before came over and reached her hands out to Claire. She spoke softly when Claire looked up at her, "Okay, Claire, you can't hold on to Dean too long. You might hurt his stitches."

Claire was hesitant, but she nodded and let the woman pick her up. Dean didn't even have a chance to ask who she was, before someone else had their arms wrapped around them. It only took a couple seconds for Dean to realize who it was and he held him just as tight as the man clung to him. He sighed in contentment with how it felt to have Cas in his arms, ignoring the circumstances. He leaned into the embrace, finally feeling that sharp pain in his side but he chose to ignore it, too. "Well, hello to you, too, Cas," he chuckled softly into the man's hair.

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel spoke lowly into his ear, "I can never repay you for what you did." It sent shivers down Dean's spine.

Dean felt his whole body warm at the words and he wanted to close his eyes to better remember how this felt, to have Castiel this close. But the hug was cut short and Cas soon leaned away from him, though he was still close, his hands lingering on Dean. Dean met his eyes as he replied, "Of course, Cas. Don't worry about it."

They didn't look away from each other and Dean could see the sleep deprivation in Cas's face. The dark circles under his eyes and his brown hair messier than usual. He didn't have to ask to know Castiel had probably been here the whole night. The worry in his face and the strong scent of coffee was proof enough. Dean's thoughts were interrupted by someone coughing near them and they broke eye contact. Dean looked over and saw Jess grinning at them. She held out her hands, "Don't I get some Deanlove, too?"

Dean laughed and she came over gave him a gentle squeeze, probably worried about his stitches. He pecked her cheek when she pulled away, "You come all the way out here just to see li ol' me?"

She winked at him, "You know no flight's long enough to stop me from seeing you."

Dean heard someone say in a low voice, "Hey, Sam, looks like you got some competition."

He tried to sit up straighter to see who else was in the room, but winced at the pain and laid back down in defeat. Understanding, Jess found the buttons on the bed and adjusted it so Dean didn't have to strain himself. Dean looked at her grateful and she smiled before walking back over to Sam. Dean could now see Gabriel and the woman from earlier sitting in chairs next to Sam who was leaning against the wall.

Sam chuckled, pulling Jess close to him, "Maybe, but she always comes back home with me, so I don't worry too much."

Gabriel snorted and looked over at Dean, "Hey, Dean-o! How you feeling?"

Dean looked at him surprised, wondering why he was here, "Hey, Gabe. I feel okay, I guess. A little out of it, but alright."

The woman next to Gabriel smiled at him kindly, "It's normal to feel like that after a surgery. I'm Kali, by the way, Gabriel's wife."

Dean smiled at her, "Nice to meet you. Congrats on the baby."

She told him thank you and then the nurse walked in. She grinned widely at him, "Mr. Winchester, you're awake! What a relief. Everyone was starting to get worried."

She walked over to the bed and grabbed the clipboard there, writing on it and glancing at the clock, "How you feeling?"

He shrugged, "I feel fine."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Perfectly fine? Now don't lie to me, Mr. Winchester. I was in the surgery room and I know how bad it actually was. You cannot feel perfectly fine after something like that. So, come on, how are you feeling?"

He sighed, "Alright, my head and my side hurts a bit."

She nodded, a smile playing on her lips, "That's better." She stepped closer to him, reading the machines that were hooked up to him, "My name's Krissy. I'll mainly be the one watching over you while you're here."

Dean frowned at her, "When can I leave?"

She shrugged, "Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. It depends on how you're feeling as the day goes on."

Dean groaned and Sam met his eyes with a bitchface telling him to be a good patient. Krissy turned to him and raised her eyebrows, "What? Got a hot date planned or something?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "'Well, no, but I don't want to be stuck in this bed forever."

Krissy met his eyes and he felt oddly intimidate by the small woman, "Mr. Winchester, you just got out of surgery not even _three_ hours ago, because you were _shot_ last night. You're in need of some serious rest. And I am not going to let even you jeopardize that. I do not want to hear one word out of your mouth unless it's about your health and not to complain about being _stuck in bed_."

Dean sighed, but nodded, not wanting to argue anymore with her. She reminded him of Jody and if that wasn't warning enough to not mess with her, he didn't know what was. In the end, she was just looking out for him and even though she was just doing her job, Dean would feel like an ass if he challenged her.

**_DIVIDER_**

Thankfully, Krissy had guessed right and Dean was out of the hospital the next morning. Cas insisted that he take a few more days off before he went back to work. Gabriel had already offered to take Claire back to his place for the meantime. He regretfully agreed, only because of the way Cas looked at him. He doubted he'd be able to deny the man anything. Dean didn't know if it was because of what had happened, but he felt like something in Castiel's eyes had changed. His expression was softer when he looked at him and an emotion Dean couldn't place bubbled under the surface. It wasn't necessarily a _bad_ change. Dean felt like something had deepened between them, a bond that felt like it had been there for years instead of months. And yeah, he guessed, risking your life for someone else's daughter could do that to any relationship. But Dean just wasn't used to the way Castiel looked at him, because he hadn't always looked at him like that, had he? Nerves twisted in his stomach when he thought about it and it freaked him out a little. But it also made him feel good and he couldn't explain it. A warm hope builded in his chest, but he tried not to give it too much thought, not wanting to set himself up for disappointment.

Sam and Jess had stuck around, much to Dean's annoyance. He was a fully grown man and he could take care of himself. He didn't need anyone's help. He was perfectly capable of recuperating by himself. But no one else seemed to agree with him. Jess kept the house clean, while Sam cooked everything and made runs to the store. They wouldn't let Dean do anything. _Relax. Doctor's orders._

A week passed and Dean was finally about to go back to work. He didn't know how attached he'd grown to Claire until he had gone so long without seeing her. He missed her. He was relieved to finally be going back to the Novaks. But as he came into the den of his living room, fully clothed and about to walk out the door, he spotted Sam and Jess were lounging on the couch.

He raised his eyebrows at them eating cereal and watching cartoons contently, "Shouldn't you guys be, oh I don't know, packing?"

Sam didn't meet his eyes, but Jess smiled up at him, "We're just gonna stick around for another day or two."

Dean sighed and dragged a hand down his face, "You guys, I told you that I was fine. Perfectly healthy."

"Don't be so conceited, Dean," Jess smirked at him as she spooned marshmallows into her mouth, "I just want to go see Bobby and little Stevie."

Dean knew she was lying, but he didn't argue with her, "Yeah, alright. Well, Sam you going to drive me to work then?"

Sam nodded, setting his bowl down on the coffee table. He pecked Jess on the lips, before following Dean out the door. Dean tossed Sam the keys once they reached the Impala and grumpily got in the passenger side.

Sam chuckled at his face as he pulled out into the street, "Why do you look like an upset toddler?"

Dean glared at his brother, "I don't even get to drive my own Baby?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "I need the car to go see Bobby and Charlie."

"Yeah, and don't think I bought that. You've seen them since you've been here. That's not the real reason you're staying here longer."

Sam sighed, "Dean, you were shot and almost _died_. We were worried out of our minds and though, you made it out okay, we still are. I know we're probably being a little overbearing, but I'm not going to apologize about it."

Dean didn't reply, knowing he'd be the same way if the roles were reversed. But just because he understood didn't mean he had to be happy about it. He was always the one who took care of others. He wasn't used to being on the receiving end. He didn't like it, it made him feel uncomfortable and useless. He liked to keep himself busy, always doing something, anything productive or distracting. But the past week, Sam and Jess had forced him to be nothing but a lump on the couch. He was surprised he had managed to stay sane.

Dean waved Sam goodbye and watched the Impala pull out of the driveway, before walking through the Novaks' front door. He had spent an entire week cooped up in his apartment, but _this_, this felt like coming home to him. A sense of comfort rushed over him and he stood there for a moment in the foyer just soaking it in. Then, he tossed his jacket on to the couch like he had done so many times before and stepped quietly into the kitchen.

Claire was tugging on Castiel's pants as he stood at the stove, "Daddy, Dean's coming today, right?"

"You bet, pumpkin," Dean answered before Cas could and Claire looked up at him with a wide smile.

"Dean!" she ran towards him and he held out his arms to her. She collided into him and he hugged her tight. He picked her up and held her against his side that wasn't injured. He tapped her nose with his finger, "I missed you like crazy, kid."

She giggled and hugged his neck, "I missed you more."

"Doubt it," Dean chuckled and looked over at Cas. He had been watching them with a fond smile as he scraped pancakes onto a plate. He looked better than the last time Dean had seen him, like he had finally got some rest. Dean almost sighed in relief, he didn't want to be the reason anyone lost sleep.

Dean grinned at him, "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean," Castiel replied with that same smoky voice that sang to Dean in his dreams. He felt his heart skip a beat. It had only been a week since he'd seen him, but it felt so much longer to Dean and it made him wonder how deep he had fallen in love with Cas.

Dean set Claire down in a chair and gestured at the stove, "I would've made breakfast."

Castiel shook his head as he placed the pancakes on the table with the orange juice, "It wasn't a problem. I got up early today."

"Too excited to see me to sleep?" Dean winked at him playfully as he began to cut up Claire's pancakes.

Castiel smiled at him as he poured coffee into his traveler mug, "You caught me."

After Castiel screwed the lid tight on his coffee, he grabbed his keys off the counter. But he paused before saying his usual goodbyes. Dean noticed his expression, like he was trying to decide whether to say something or not. Dean raised an eyebrow at him curiously, "Yeah, Cas?"

Castiel bit his lip thinking and Dean's eyes followed the movement, a warmth rolling around in his gut, "I was just going to tell you that if you don't have to, you shouldn't be picking up Claire."

Dean's eyebrows pulled together. He chuckled, taken aback, "What?"

Castiel met his eyes and Dean could tell that his cheeks were slightly flushed, but his eyes remained focused on Dean, "Dean, I'm sure the doctor told you not to be over exerting yourself and that includes lifting anything too heavy. And I don't want you to pop your stitches, so don't pick her up if it's not necessary."

Dean rolled his eyes as he poured some coffee for himself and then leaned against the counter, "Oh, come on, Cas. Not you, too, man. I thought I had escaped this kinda talk when I left my apartment this morning."

Castiel sighed, taking the few steps needed to be in Dean's personal space. They locked eyes and Dean found it difficult to look away like he always did. Castiel placed his hand on Dean's arm and Dean found it strange that Cas's hand felt warmer than the steaming mug in his left hand. "I know you don't like people it when fuss over you, Dean. But we're just worried about you and nothing you can say will change that. So, please, just humor me?" Castiel smiled at him and Dean felt like he'd agree to anything the man asked.

Dean nodded and looked down at his coffee mug, feeling his face turn red. A couple seconds passed and he glanced back up at Castiel's baby blues. Damn, he really was so beautiful. It made Dean's heart stop and his breath catch in his throat. He gave him a soft smile, "Yeah, alright. Thanks, Cas."

Castiel's smile didn't fade, but he dropped his hand and Dean felt a rush of coldness replace it. He turned away from him and said goodbye to Claire like he did every morning. But he paused in the doorway, looking back at Dean with a warmth in his expression Dean couldn't place, "And for the record, it's good to have you back, Dean."

Dean smiled at him just as sincerely and raised his mug, "Happy to be back."


	13. Chicken and Rice

"So, how was your week at Uncle Gabe's?" Dean asked Claire as he sat down with her for lunch, placing her banana and peanut butter sandwich in front of her.

Claire stared hungrily at the sandwich before happily digging in. Dean smiled at her as he started in on his own sandwich. She wrinkled her nose at him as she answered his question, "Sweet."

Dean chuckled, "Gabe sure does have a sweet tooth, doesn't he? Please tell me at least Kali didn't let you eat a bunch of junk food?"

Claire shook her head as she grabbed her glass of milk, "No, I didn't really have any junk food at all. It's just that everything we ate was really sweet even if it was good for you."

Dean smirked at her, "You just missed my cooking, right?"

Claire giggled and nodded, peanut butter smudged at the corner of her lips. "Can we have chicken and rice tonight?"

Dean smiled at her, getting up and cleaning off the table, "Sure thing, sweetheart."

Dean went over to the fridge to check and see if they had all the ingredients, when the doorbell rang. He raised an eyebrow at Claire, but she only shrugged in response, not expecting anyone either. He knew it was probably some PTSD causing his heart rate to pick up a little, so he tried to shrug it off. He stepped out of the kitchen and walked curiously to the front door.

His eyebrows scrunched together when he saw who was waiting on the doorstep. He opened the door and she smiled brightly at him, "Hey, Dean!"

"Jess? What're you doing here?" Dean glanced at the Impala parked in the driveway, "Where's Sam?"

"He wanted to go see Bobby, but I didn't really feel like intruding on their father-and-son bonding time. So, he left me the car and Bobby came and got him. I was just feeling lonely, so I came over. I hope that's alright?"

Dean knew this was another one of her smooth lies, but he let it go and smiled at her anyway. He stepped aside, inviting her in, "Of course, Jess. Come on in."

Jess grinned, walking over the threshold and into the Novaks' household. Claire had wandered into the living room and was peaking at Jess from around the corner. After a minute, she stepped out and tilted her head slightly, "You're Sammy's girlfriend, aren't you?"

Jess chuckled and nodded her head, then held out her hand, "And you're Miss Claire, right? Sorry, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself at the hospital. My name's Jess."

Claire shook her hand and said in a matter-of-fact voice, "You know I think you're just about as beautiful as Sammy said you were."

Jess blushed slightly and smiled, "Well, thank you, and you seem just as wonderful as he said you were." She glanced at Dean and back to Claire, "So, what were you guys up to?"

Dean shrugged as he walked to the living room and collapsed on to the couch with the girls joining him, "Nothing really. Just finished lunch and I was checking to see if we had the stuff to make chicken and rice for tonight."

Jess hid a smile and Dean assumed it must've have been from something he said, but he couldn't think of what. Claire tugged on the sleeve to Jess's blouse, "Do you like Harry Potter?"

Jess winked at her, "Yeah, being Sam's girlfriend I kind of have to."

Claire brightened and looked over at Dean, "Can we watch Harry Potter?"

Dean nodded and waved a hand at the TV. Claire squealed and immediately ran over to the TV, looking for her Harry Potter box set. Jess chuckled and relaxed more into the couch beside Dean. The Harry Potter opening song was soon playing and then, they were all curled up on the couch.

_**DIVIDER**_

Dean prepared the chicken and Jess helped him by getting the gravy ready, while Claire sat at the table drawing. It was simple enough so when she had offered to help Dean had told her to do that, thinking she couldn't possibly mess up _gravy_. From what Sam had told him and from his visits to California, he had learned that Jess was a _horrible_ cook. She still tried though, hoping she'd be at least able to master Sam's favorite meals, but something always came out wrong. Dean had tried to help her a few times and the food usually came out well, but then she'd call him and tell him when she tried it on her own, she'd messed it up somehow. Dean had jokingly told her she must be cursed, which only fueled her determination to prove him wrong.

After Dean had put all the ingredients in the pot, the only thing she had to do was stir it occasionally, but she still barely took her eyes off of it in fear of ruining the Novaks' dinner. She nudged Dean with her elbow, standing beside him, but still glancing at the small pot. He looked over at her and she said in a low voice so Claire wouldn't hear, "So, what's going on with you and Cas?"

He rolled his eyes and turned away from her as he cooked, "Nothing."

"Mmhmm," Jess pressed her lips together, fighting a smile as she looked knowingly at Dean.

It was quiet for a moment and then, Dean asked, "Why? What all did Sam tell you?"

She shrugged, staring at her gravy again as she stirred it, "Oh, just that you two looked at each other like you were an old married couple. But that nothing was happening, because you're both oblivious of each other's feelings."

Dean felt his face warm and he avoided Jess's eyes when she looked back at him. He almost wanted to be mad at Sam for running his big mouth, but he had already guessed Jess knew everything. They'd been together for years and they told each other everything. She already felt like a sister to Dean, even if Sam was too nervous to just pop the question already. "Yeah, well, Sam exaggerates."

"I don't know. Didn't sound like an exaggeration to me," she argued, her voice almost singing.

Dean didn't respond and the room was quiet except for the sound of Claire's pencil scratching her paper. He felt Jess's eyes on him and when he finally looked over at her, she was smiling sweetly at him, "Sam said he'd never seen you so happy before and I have to agree. Every time I heard you talk about this Cas guy, I could hear your smile even over the phone. And from what Sam's told me, he seems good for you, Dean."

Jess looked so happy for him, he couldn't help but give her a small smile back. After he put the chicken in the oven, she looked at him expectantly, "So? Are you going to do anything about it?"

Dean sighed and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest, "I don't know, Jess."

She put her hand on her hip and arched an eyebrow, "And why not?"

He didn't really want to repeat the conversation he'd already had with Sam, but Jess was a lot more persistent and he doubted she'd let it go easily. And with the past month, he didn't even really know how he felt about it anymore. He had been so sure of his decision when he'd practically forced Sam to drop it, but he had been wavering lately. He didn't have an answer to that question, anymore.

He glanced at Claire, whom he hoped had been completely oblivious to their conversation. He doubted she'd heard anything since they'd been talking quietly and she was focused on her art. Feeling his eyes on her, she looked up at him and asked, "Dean, can I play with my paint while we wait for dinner to get ready?" He guessed she'd been wanting to ask him for a while, but politely waited for him and Jess to stop their hushed conversation.

He smiled at her and nodded, "Sure, pumpkin. But go change into some different clothes and put your hair up first."

She grinned excitedly and hopped down from her chair, then rushed out of the kitchen to her room. Jess watched her go, but as soon as the door swung shut, she repeated her question, "So, Dean, you got a good reason for not going after what you know you want?"

All he could do was shrug at her as he knelt down and dug for the abused paint splattered tablecloth from one of the kitchen drawers. He glanced at the stove as he spread the cloth out over the table, "Turn down the heat on that."

Jess sighed, but he knew it was because he didn't answer her and not for being bossed around. After she turned it down to a low simmer, she leaned against the counter and copied Dean's position from earlier, crossing her arms and staring at him expectantly. He didn't face her pointlessly smoothing out the wrinkles and folds in the abused cloth, "It's just… I don't want to lose this, Jess."

"Why do you think you will?"

"I just don't want to risk it," Dean replied, not really even understanding the fear completely himself.

"If you never take any risk, nothing will ever change. And you can't tell me that you don't feel like you're missing something. Come on, Dean, I know you almost as much as I know Sam and I can tell that you _really_ want this."

Dean pulled out a chair from the table, dragging his hand down his face, "Jess, I just, I don't know. What if he doesn't even want it?"

Jess snorted, walking over and sitting beside him, "Dude, he wants it. A blind man can see that."

Dean felt his heart go warm at the thought, but he tried to ignore the feeling, "Yeah? And what makes you so sure? You've barely met him."

"You didn't," Jess looked away from him and down at the table, "You didn't see him at the hospital." She glanced back up at him, remembering when she met the famous Castiel, "He was so damn worried about you. Dean, he looked horrible like he was in so much pain. I hope I never find myself in that position. It was _heartbreaking_."

Dean didn't answer, thinking about how Cas looked when he woke up like he hadn't slept in days. It caused a sharp pain in his chest knowing he was the cause of him to look like that. He didn't even want to think of how he would have felt if the roles had been reversed. He remembered how Cas had smiled warmly at him this morning and it relieved the pain slightly.

Jess continued talking, probably noticing how Dean's face had fell even more from what she said, "So, in conclusion, I think it's pretty safe to say he feels the same way."

Before Dean could argue with her, she reached out and put a hand on his arm, "Just why not at least think about it? If you're still unsure, you could always drop some hints and see how he reacts."

Dean looked up at her kind hazel eyes and nodded, giving her a small smile. She didn't push the conversation farther than that, other than saying, "I think this'll be good, Dean. I don't know why you're fighting it so hard, because you do deserve some happiness in your life. Good things do happen."

_**DIVIDER**_

Jess walked over to check the gravy and stirred, then noticed something, "Hey, Claire's been taking a while, don't you think?"

Dean stepped towards the door, but the stove beeped. Seeing his glare directed towards the stove, Jess waved her hand at him, "Don't worry about it. I'll go check on her."

He looked at her relieved, not really wanting to risk Jess taking the chicken out and dropping it, probably hurting herself. A contributing factor to her poor cooking skills had always been that she was extremely clumsy.

Jess walked out of the kitchen and climbed up the stairs. She only had a couple of seconds to wonder which room was Claire's, before she heard a frustrated groan. She opened the door and peeked inside. Claire was standing in front of the mirror, glaring at the brush in her hand. Her hair was in complete tangles. Jess chuckled under her breath, before knocking on the door.

Claire looked over at her and gave her a weak smile. She looked disappointed for a second, but then quickly covered it with, "Hello, Jess." Jess guessed she had been hoping it was Dean.

"Can I come in?"

Claire nodded turning back to her mirror and frowning. Jess sat down on her bed, "What's wrong? Can't get your hair right?"

The little girl just shook her head, staring at the brush in her hand. Jess patted next to her on the bed, "Here, I'll get those tangles out for you."

Claire walked over to her with her shoulders slumped, handing her the purple brush before sitting next to her. As Jess gently brushed the knots out, she asked, "So, what were you having trouble with? The ponytail?"

"It looked fine until I tried to put it up. Then, there was always these bumps in my hair," Claire spoke quietly.

"Well, hey," Jess tried to comfort her, "Don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes, I still have trouble getting my hair right."

"Really?"

"Yup. If I can't get it right, I'll usually give up and just braid it."

Claire was quiet for a moment and then she spoke sadly, "I don't know how to braid hair."

"Does your dad not know either?" Jess asked as she started to twist Claire's golden locks into a French braid.

"No. I usually just wear my hair down."

"You know," Jess told her remembering something from last week with a smile, "Dean can braid hair. He's pretty good at it, too. He was bored all last week being cooped up in his apartment. And while we were watching TV, he just started re-braiding my hair after he pointed out I missed some."

Jess saw Claire smile and she felt relieved, wondering why not knowing how to do her hair was even bothering the little girl so much. Claire started absentmindedly picking at a thread on her t-shirt, then said, "It's kinda silly I don't know how, isn't it?"

Jess wrapped the ponytail around the end of the braid and asked confused, "Why do you think that?"

"All the other girls in my class know how to. Their moms taught them," Claire sighed, not turning around.

Jess hesitated before asking, "Did your mom never teach you?"

Claire just shook her head, "She was never around long enough to show me."

Jess rubbed a hand down Claire's small back, trying to soothe her. She thought for a minute, then said, "You want to know a secret, Claire?"

Claire turned around and looked up at her curiously with big blue eyes, "What?"

"My mom was never around when I was your age either. I remember googling how to put on my makeup when I turned fifteen, because I had never seen anyone do it on before."

"Did your mom move away, too?"

Jess shrugged and half-lied, "Yeah, kinda. But you know what's good about your mom?"

Claire waited for her to continue and Jess said, "She loves you and she still wants to see you. Dean told me you're even going to go spend next week with her, right?"

Claire smiled and nodded. Jess nudged her shoulder, "See? It'll all work out. I promise. Now in the meantime, do you want me to show you how to do braids?"

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel came home as Dean was getting out the rice from the cabinet. He stepped into the kitchen with his sleeves already rolled up and his tie loosened. He smiled at Dean when he saw him, "Smells good, Dean."

"Thanks, Cas," Dean grinned at him as he poured the rice into a small pot, "Claire said that everything at Gabe's was too sweet and she asked me to make chicken and rice. Hope that's fine with you?"

Castiel nodded and Dean went back to cooking. Castiel walked over to him, glancing at the cloth covered table, "Where's Claire? And Jess, too? Is she still here?" Because of course, Dean always keeping to the nanny code of not inviting friends over to work, texted Cas asking if it Jess being at his house was okay. And just like he'd thought, Castiel hadn't cared in the slightest.

"Oh, Claire wanted to paint, so I told her to go change. She was taking a long time, so Jess went to go check on her about five minutes ago. Whatever was wrong, I'm sure Jess handled it," Dean looked at the clock as he placed the lid over the rice.

Castiel leaned against the counter and Dean mirrored him, just inches separating them. To someone else, it'd probably look a little odd, considering there was no reason for them to be standing so close, but neither of them pointed it out.

Dean met his eyes and felt instantly more relaxed like he didn't feel at home until he could gaze into his favorite shade of blue. There were only inches between them, but Dean still yearned to be closer. He tried to fight it, simply bumping Castiel's arm with his own, "So, how was work?"

Castiel shrugged, "Work was just work, nothing special." A couple seconds passed and he added hesitantly, "It's actually been pretty relaxed lately. I think they're giving me a lighter workload on purpose, because of…recent events."

Dean nodded, understanding, but not asking the obvious question of why Cas's work thought he'd be so shaken up because of Dean going to the hospital. "Well, that's good then, I guess. You'd been really stressed out before…" Dean didn't finish his sentence, wondering in the back of his mind if they were always just going to dance around the subject like this.

Castiel looked like he was about to say something, when Claire burst into the room, "Daddy!"

He immediately picked her up into his arms and kissed her forehead, "Hey, ClaireBear."

Jess stepped into the kitchen as Claire pointed at her braid, "Look what Jess did to my hair. Isn't it pretty?"

Castiel nodded seriously, "Oh, yes, it's very beautiful." He looked over at Jess, having heard her walk into the room, to thank her, but stopped in his tracks. He held back at chuckle, putting Claire down, "Jess, your hair looks very pretty, too."

Claire ran over to her and put her hand on her hip proudly, "And Jess taught me how to do it, too! So, I did her's."

Jess ran her fingers her hair, silently counting all the random braids Claire had done, "Yup, and she did such a good job. A real natural in hair styling if you ask me."

Dean chuckled, turning to check the rice, "I totally agree. Next time you see Sam, you should ask him if you can do his too."

Claire giggled and looked up at Jess with raised eyebrows, "Do you think he'd say yes?"

Jess smiled, "Totally."

"Is Sammy coming over tonight?"

"No, he's out with his uncle. But we'll come by and tell you goodbye before we head back to California," Jess promised.

Castiel walked over to the table, picking the cloth up off the table. Since dinner was almost ready, Claire would just have to wait and paint before she went to bed. "Yeah, you guys should come over for dinner before you leave. I mean, only if you want to," Castiel offered with a shy smile.

Jess nodded and offered her own smile back, "We'd love to, thank you, Castiel."

Castiel shrugged, folding the cloth into a neat square, "Of course. Any family of Dean's is welcome here." After he put the cloth back in its appropriate drawer, he stepped towards the door before Jess could reply, "I'm going to go out of this suit. I'll be back in a minute."

Jess skipped over to Dean after Castiel had left the room, and nudged his shoulder as she begun to get plates from the cabinet, "Yeah, Sam was _definitely_ not exaggerating."

He rolled his eyes and elbowed her back, "Shut up." But she saw his faint blush and the smile on his lips. _Yeah, right, Castiel's not head over heels for Dean._ Castiel not loving Dean back was just about as likely as Sam cutting all of his hair off.


	14. I'm not going anywhere

A knock on his open door made Castiel look up from his computer. It was Anna, smiling sweetly at him, "You busy?"

He shook his head and she closed the door behind her, before walking over to his desk and falling into one of the arm chairs. She picked up a paperweight off his desk that looked like it had a small ocean inside it. She turned it over in her hand, "Want to do lunch today?"

Castiel scrunched his eyebrows together, minimizing the documents on his computer, "Don't we always have lunch together?"

Anna nodded her head, still playing with the paperweight, "True."

"Anna, what's wrong?" Castiel asked, sensing something was off. Anna didn't usually come by his office unless there was something troubling her.

She looked up at him with a small smile, placing the paperweight back on his desk, "Nothing, Castiel. Can't I just come by without something being wrong?"

Castiel leaned forward on his desk, "You haven't ever really before."

Anna looked to the side like she was trying to think of all the times she'd come by. She frowned at her conclusion, "Well, I guess I haven't."

"Anna?"

She sighed in defeat, "I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing. You weren't acting like your usual self last week. And I thought since Dean started working again, you'd be better, but you still seem off. Even Hester's getting worried."

Castiel looked away from her, shuffling papers on his desk as an excuse, "I'm fine, Anna."

He saw her roll her eyes out of the corner of his eye, "Castiel, you are not _fine_."

He shrugged, "I don't know, Anna. I guess I'm just still feeling a little emotionally drained."

She reached across the small desk and rested her hand on top of his comfortingly. He looked up and she stared at him with kind eyes, "It's okay to feel that way. I just want to see you back on your feet again."

He smiled back at her, "I know and thank you for that. But I'm sure I'll shake this feeling off and be back to normal soon. So, you don't need to worry."

"Okay, just let me know if there's anything I can do, even if it's just to talk," she offered, leveling him with her eyes so he knew she was serious.

He nodded and glanced at the clock. Then, stood up from his chair and grabbed his jacket. Anna followed him out of his office and they walked down to the parking lot. They decided on her car, since it was parked closer. She asked him as she pulled out onto the street, "Have you, uh, talked to Dean about it?"

Castiel glanced at her, knowing what she was referring to, but asking anyway, "About what?"

"About him getting shot," she answered bluntly, but gave him an apologetic look when she saw his face, "Sorry."

He shook his head, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves, "It's alright. And, um, no, we haven't. I mean, I thanked him at the hospital for protecting Claire, but that was it. Why?"

She shrugged as she turned the corner towards their favorite sandwich shop, "It might make you feel better to talk about it. And Dean, too, because I'm sure he's dealing with some PTSD because of it."

Castiel frowned, remembering how they had avoided talking about it Monday night. Dean had seemed fine, smiling at him like he always did if not even warmer than before. And he was the one who should actually be shaken up about it. He was the one who got shot and almost died. It was a little ridiculous for Castiel to still be so bothered by it. "What is there even really to talk about, though?"

Anna parked in front of the small family-run shop and then, turned to him, "Talk about how this has affected you both. You can't just bottle your feelings up like that, because they'll just explode one day, and that's never good."

Castiel sighed, trying to think of how to even broach that subject with Dean. It wasn't like him and Dean had a weekly heart-to-heart about whatever they had been feeling the past few days. He knew Dean and he knew that Dean didn't really like to get too serious and talk about his feelings. But if Anna was right and Dean was experiencing some trauma from it, he needed to talk about it with someone. Castiel just hoped he'd be enough for that. If not, he could always ask Sam about it.

"Alright, I'll try and talk to him tonight."

Anna smiled, glad he had listened to her, "Good and while you're at it, you can confess your undying love for each other."

"What?" Castiel looked at her in surprise, feeling his face turn red. But Anna simply laughed and got out of the car.

_**DIVIDER**_

Claire giggled into the phone again and it made Dean wonder what she and Gabriel were even talking about. He had called about ten minutes ago and they had been on the phone since. And even on the phone, she was still kicking his ass at Scrabble.

"Yes, they still do that," Claire smiled into the phone, glancing at Dean who was staring at his Scrabble pieces.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Claire spoke into the phone, exasperated.

She listened intently to Gabriel's response and then laughed, "Do you think that will really work?"

"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later, Uncle Gabe. I have to finish kicking Dean's butt at Scrabble," Claire looked up at Dean with a wide smile. He stuck his tongue out at her in response.

"Bye! I love you, too!" She hung up the phone and then placed a 53 point word on the board. Dean groaned in frustration. _How many books has this kid read?_

As he tried to think of a good enough word to put down, he asked her, "So, what were you and Uncle Gabe talking about?"

She just shook her head with a giggle, "Oh, nothing."

He arched an eyebrow at her, "Really? Nothing at all?"

She nodded, "Yup."

Dean rolled his eyes fondly, but didn't press her any further. Knowing Claire, she'd never give in and spill the beans. The best word he could put down was only 22 points and Claire easily beat him with a 45 point word. There really was no beating her. As they put all the pieces back up, Dean asked her, "You excited about seeing your mom next week?"

She nodded with an excited smile as she helped him, "Yes. I can't wait to see California."

Dean walked over to the hall closet to put the board game up and called over his shoulder, "That's good, Claire. You must miss her a lot."

Claire was quiet for a minute and then when Dean walked back into the room, she spoke without looking up, "Yeah, I was actually feeling pretty sad about it the other day."

Dean sat beside her on the floor, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked up at him then and shook her head with a small smile, "No, it's okay. Jess made me feel better about it."

He raised his eyebrows, "Oh, yeah?" That must have been what they had been talking about the other night.

She leaned against the couch, "She told me that her mom wasn't around much when she was little either. But that I was lucky that my mom still loved me and wanted to see me."

Dean felt his heart break slightly, thinking of how Jess must have felt telling Claire that. She didn't ever really like to talk about her mom. She had left Jess and her dad when Jess was around Claire's age. Jess has never heard from her since and Dean doubted she'd even want to. He'd have to thank her for opening up to Claire about it. It seemed to have made Claire feel better.

Claire looked up at him with sad eyes, "Do you think Jess misses her mom?"

Dean thought about it for a moment, before answering, "Yeah, sometimes, probably more when she was younger. But I don't think it bothers her that much anymore."

"Why?" She tilted her head at him. Sometimes she reminded him so much of Cas, he couldn't help but smile.

"Well, Jess still has her dad and the rest of her family. Though, no one can ever really fill the place of her mom, she still has plenty of people in her life that she loves like Sammy and his family. It's like with every person you love, you also become a part of their family and then, have even more people you're connected with," He looked down at her and could see her mulling it over in her head as she looked up.

"Is it like how you told me family don't end with blood?"

He chuckled and grabbed her, kissing the top of her head, "Yeah, sweetheart. It's like that."

_**DIVIDER**_

Dean had just finished showing Claire how to do a French braid, when Castiel walked through the door. Castiel felt his heart tug seeing Claire sitting between Dean's legs as he braided her hair. She had a mirror in her hand that she kept moving so she could see what Dean was doing. Dean smiled at him and Castiel felt warm under his green eyes. He continued to explain to Claire, "See? It's just like a normal braid, but you add to the strands as you go. Do you want to try now?"

Claire nodded and Dean ran his fingers through her hair, undoing what he'd just done. She put her mirror down and then looked up to see Castiel taking off his coat and jacket. She hopped up and ran over to him, hugging his waist, "Welcome home, Daddy."

Castiel smiled down at her as he held her, "Hello, Claire. How was your day?"

"It was pretty fun. I beat Dean at Scrabble like always. Then, I painted some pictures. And Dean was just showing me how to do really pretty braids," Claire grinned up at him excitedly and Castiel was happy to see her getting back to herself after the past couple of weeks.

Castiel chuckled and walked over to the couch where Dean was now lounging on, "That does sound fun." He looked at her paint splattered clothes and the shades of blues and red across her arms, "But remember Sam and Jess are coming over for dinner tonight. You should go take a quick shower."

She nodded, picking up her mirror off the floor and then climbing up the stairs. Castiel loosed the tie around his neck and smiled at Dean, "Don't worry, she always beats me in Scrabble, too."

Dean laughed, shifting his body more towards Castiel subconsciously, "She's too smart for her own good."

Castiel nodded, sinking more into the couch. He toed off his shoes and didn't think he'd ever feel more relaxed. Dean wasn't as close to him as he wished he'd be, but he could still feel the warmth emanating from him. He looked over at Dean and felt his heart skip a beat like it always did. He'd never be able to get over how attractive Dean was, especially in his snug gray Henley and dark washed jeans.

Dean leaned into the couch, bringing his arm around to rest on the top of it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noticed how easy it would be to just drop his arm lower until it was wrapped around Castiel. His fingers twitched and he felt his skin warm at the thought, but he tried to ignore it. He met Castiel's eyes, seeing how the dark circles under his eyes hadn't really gone away and that his stubble wasn't as clean shaved as usual. He looked tired and Dean didn't know why, but he wanted to help. "Was work alright?" Dean asked, thinking it probably had to do something with Castiel's job. It really stressed him out sometimes.

Castiel nodded, but it looked like the question had reminded him of something. His eyes drifted away like he was thinking of something in particular, "Yes, it was fine. Um, Dean, can I ask you something?" Castiel looked almost nervous as his eyes flickered back to Dean, but he leaned closer to him, folding his legs underneath him.

"Of course, Cas, anything," Dean gestured for him to continue, wondering what he was going to ask.

Castiel tried to think of a smoother way of bring it up, but fell short and simply asked, "How are you, Dean?"

Dean's eyebrows pulled together confused, "I'm fine, Cas." He chuckled, "Wow, Cas, way to build up the moment. I thought you were going to ask something serious."

Castiel shook his head and sighed, "No, Dean, I didn't mean like how are you in the casual sense. How are you feeling after what happened?"

Dean knew exactly what he was referring to, Castiel could see it in his eyes in how he looked away from him and his smile fell. His jaw clenched and Castiel could tell he felt uncomfortable at the question. Anna had been right in thinking that Dean had been more affected than Castiel thought and he felt like crap for not having noticed.

Dean shrugged, barely glancing at him, "I feel fine, man. My side hurts if I put too much pressure on it, but that's it."

Castiel raised an eyebrow at him, "Really? That's it?"

Dean pulled his arm back closer to his body and turned away from Castiel. He rested his elbows on his knees and avoided Castiel's eyes. He laughed humorlessly, "Yeah, that's it. What's with the scrutiny, Cas?"

"Well, it's just," Castiel tried to remember what all Anna had said, "we haven't really talked about it –"

Dean cut him off, his voice rising slightly, "Because there's nothing to talk about. I almost died. So what? End of story."

Castiel was taken aback by Dean's harsh tone and it must have been evident on his face, because Dean's expression fell when he looked up at him. He reached over and placed a hand over Castiel's knee. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair with his other hand. He spoke softer this time, "Dammit, I'm sorry, Cas. I just – I don't know. I've just been trying to ignore it, but it keeps creeping up on me and I – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out at you."

Dean wouldn't have been surprised if Castiel shoved him away, but he simply wrapped his hand around Dean's. The warm weight in his hand had an instant calming effect and Dean let out a deep breath. He felt Castiel shift on the couch and he sounded closer as he spoke comfortingly, "It's okay, Dean. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

A comfortable silence passed between them as Dean debated inside his head. After a few seconds, he glanced at Castiel's kind eyes and then back at the floor, "I had honestly thought I was fine the first couple of days, but then I started having these dreams…and I couldn't sleep at night anymore. The slightest noise would wake me up and I'd just lie in bed the rest of the night."

Castiel was quiet for a moment trying to decide what to say, not wanting Dean to close up, before he asked, "Dreams about what happened that night?"

Dean nodded, then sighed and leaned back into the couch. He shrugged and glanced at his hand wrapped in Castiel's, "Sometimes they're a little different, but yeah pretty much."

Castiel tried to comfort him the best he could, but there wasn't really much he could offer. He squeezed Dean's hand lightly, "They'll stop eventually. Probably sooner than you think. It's just still so fresh in your mind and it _was_ a traumatic experience."

Dean gave him a soft smile, or at least tried to, "Yeah, you're probably right."

Castiel didn't say anything more and that just sat there for a moment until Dean spoke hesitantly, "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course, Dean," Castiel nodded for him to continue.

Dean met Castiel's eyes, but apparently couldn't hold them when he began to speak, looking away, "I'm pretty sure I died."

Castiel gave him a confused look and argued, "No, Dean, you didn't. They said there wasn't any complications and –"

Dean cut him off, looking up at him and shifting closer to him, "Cas, I _did_. I-I remember it." Castiel frowned and felt a tight grip on his heart. He had never Dean so shaken before. He was always smiling and joking around. From what Castiel could tell, he didn't really let anything get to him, just shrugging all the bad things off.

"You remember it?" Castiel asked in a gentle voice.

Dean nodded, clearing his throat, "Yeah." A couple seconds passed and Dean glanced away, before continuing, "It was like a dream, except I had thought it was real. I didn't even second guess it for a second. I probably should have, thinking back, it was just too good to be true. _Literally_." He chuckled humorlessly, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand.

Dean stared off into the distance as if he was reliving this _dream_. Castiel didn't know why it scared him. Like Dean was out of reach to him. The shock of Dean _knowing_ how close he'd been to death sent an unwelcome twist of knots to his stomach. He almost felt sick.

"Everyone I loved was there," Dean looked back at Castiel and he could see a faint blush rising in his cheeks, "It was pretty damn close to perfect if you ask me." The corners of Dean's mouth were turned up as he remembered and Castiel felt a strange sense of being inadequate. _Was Dean's dream, or whatever it was, better than the life he had here?_

Castiel waited a couple of seconds, before softly asking, "What happened?"

Dean's small smile fell as he answered, "Claire, actually. She, um, she kept trying to warn me, telling me I wasn't supposed to be there. At first, I had thought she just meant that she didn't want me here – uh, I mean, there. But then this guy appeared…" Dean's eyes had this far off look in them and he looked almost pale. Whomever he was remembering, he tried to forget, shaking his head and closing his eyes briefly.

Castiel squeezed his hand comfortingly and it seemed to weigh Dean back to earth, back to that small couch in the Novaks' house. Dean squeezed back and swallowed thickly before continuing, "He called himself Death and he, well, he told me that I was somewhere halfway between living and dying. That I could go to Heaven if I wanted to. He gave me the choice."

Castiel felt his blood run cold at Dean's words, seeing how close he had been to losing Dean made him feel lightheaded and like he wanted to throw up. He tried to remind himself of the weight in his hand, the proof that Dean was still with him. That he was _alive_. It may have just been a dream, a simple dream, but it had felt so real to Dean that Castiel didn't dare argue with him.

"I decided to stay, though," Dean met Castiel's eyes then and they reassured him that Dean was with him more than the warmth of his calloused hand. "I didn't want to leave those who cared about me behind."

Castiel smiled at him and let out a shaky breath, "Good."

Dean chuckled and instinctively tugged Castiel closer to him by his hand. The warmth emitting from Castiel's body and his bright blue eyes were if anything, if not a little intoxicating to Dean. The nightmares and memories soon slipped away from Dean's mind by just looking at Castiel. Castiel's hand in his felt nice, too, and he knew that now it would be even harder to resist reaching out for the man.

But as Dean stared into Castiel's eyes, he still looked upset. He tried to reassure him, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut about everything, "Cas, I'm not going anywhere."

Castiel's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he glanced down at his lap, "I know, Dean."

Dean bent his head down and tried to catch Castiel's eyes. When he did, he gave him a lopsided smile, "And I'm going to be alright."

Castiel laughed, "Dean, I'm supposed to be the one comforting _you_."

Dean stroked his thumb across Castiel's skin soothingly and didn't look away from his eyes as he leaned closer and spoke in a soft voice, "Yeah, well, you look more worried about me than I do."

Castiel's heart picked up with the way Dean was looking at him and he couldn't look away from him even if he wanted to. He felt his mind go completely blank and it actually felt good to be so blank with nothing but Dean to occupy his thoughts. He managed to stutter out, "I-I'm sorry."

But Dean only smiled at him and it made Castiel wonder if the man had any idea the control he had over him. Dean spoke in a smooth voice that reminded Castiel of the rock singers that Dean was so fond of, "You don't have to apologize about that, Cas."

Castiel opened his mouth to reply, not really having any idea what he was going to say and just letting his mouth do all the work, when the doorbell rang. Both of them glanced at the doorway surprised and Castiel heard Dean sigh beside him, "Right, Sam and Jess."

Castiel looked back at him to find Dean already staring at him. After a couple seconds, Dean stood up from the couch, "I'll get it." He gave one last look at Castiel before letting his hand slip away from his grasp as he walked to the front door.

Castiel stared after him and let out a deep breath, hoping his heart would calm down by the time Dean walked back into the room with Sam and Jess.

_**DIVIDER**_

Claire had seem to take it upon herself to entertain Sam and Jess while Dean and Castiel cooked dinner. She told them about some of her favorite books and characters, or anything else that popped into her mind. Sam's favorite story was hearing how Dean had tried to teach her to play guitar and she'd somehow managed to pop a string.

Jess laughed as Claire tried to defend herself, "Well, he didn't tell me what the knobs on the top were and then, he trusted me enough to leave me alone with it. It's his own fault really."

Dean scoffed from the stove over a sizzling pan of catfish, "Yeah, it's my fault for thinking that you'd just continue practicing what I showed you and not start messing with the tuning pegs."

Claire shrugged and held out her hands innocently, "What can I say? I'm a curious kid."

Dean just laughed and continued cooking as Castiel hummed along to the radio contently beside him. Sam smiled at them and then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He nodded his head towards the fridge and asked Claire, "Are those your paintings, Claire?"

She looked behind her and turned back to him and Jess with a shy smile, "Yes, um, would you like to see them?"

Jess leaned forward with a grin, "Would love to, princess."

Claire climbed down from her chair and hurried over to the fridge carefully taking down a couple pieces of paper. She walked back over to the kitchen table, clutching them to her chest, "Okay, are you ready?"

Sam and Jess both nodded eagerly, biting back smiles. Claire handed them over nervously to Sam after she climbed back into her chair. Jess leaned close to Sam, so she could see the first painting clearly. Sam chuckled when he recognized it immediately. He looked over the paper at Claire who was watching him with a faint blush, "Gotta say you did a great job, ClaireBear."

Jess nodded along with her own wide smile, "Yeah, Claire, looks just like Baby. I'm impressed."

Claire looked away from them embarrassed and mumbled a small, "Thank you."

Sam saw Dean and Cas smile at each other as they moved around the stove. Sam shuffled the papers in his hands to see the next painting and what he saw took his breath slightly away. He felt a warmth in his chest and soft smile form on his lips as he read the title in purple paint, _My Family_. He glanced at Jess, seeing her have the same reaction by his side. He asked the wonderful artist without looking up from the paper, "Is this us?"

He heard Claire clamor down from her chair and her little feet pad over to the other side of the table. His eyes didn't leave the paper as he tried to name everyone in his head. Once Claire was beside him, he scooped her up into his lap. She spoke in a quiet voice as she pointed at the paper, "There's you guys next to Dean and then there's me with Daddy and Mama. Then, I drew Uncle Gabe and Kali over here. I wanted to draw Charlie and her family and the Harvelles, but I didn't have any more room."

Jess smiled down at her, "It's beautiful, Claire."

Sam sat the paper gently back onto the table and looked down at the small bundle of blonde hair in his arms, "Yeah, Claire, thank you for including us. It means a lot."

She smiled, but looked down at her lap playing with her fingers. She shrugged, "Well, Dean told me that family don't end with blood, so I just thought…"

Sam felt like his heart melted with her words and hugged her tightly, "That's right, Claire."

She looked up at him then and smiled, before hopping down from his lap. She walked over to Castiel and tugged on his slacks. He bent down and she whispered something in his ear. Before Sam could wonder what she was saying, Jess wrapped her arm around his and pulled him closer.

He looked at her and she was grinning down at the paper. He chuckled when he realized what she was smiling about. In the painting almost everyone was connected. She had him and Jess holding hands and then her uncle and his wife. Then, she had Dean with Castiel who was holding hands with Claire and then her mom was attached to her.

Jess spoke in a low voice, so only he would hear her, "He's really made a family here, hasn't he?"

Sam nodded with a warm smile on his face as he glanced at Dean laughing with Castiel as they cooked, "Yeah, he has."

She held him closer and looked over at them, too, "I'm happy for him."

"Me too, Jess," Sam sighed contently, glancing back at the painting on the table.


End file.
